First miscarriage and devastated — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

First miscarriage and devastated

I found out yesterday, at what should have been 12 weeks 2 days, that we lost our baby. The baby only measured 8 weeks 6 days. There was no heartbeat.

I woke up yesterday morning with a lot of blood. I had been having a lot of pressure the past several weeks but it wasn't necessarily cramping. I was given some Miso to speed the process along and think I passed everything yesterday although I'm still bleeding and cramping today.

I can't believe how hard this has been and how emotionally and physically draining it has been. It's been tougher than I could have imagined and am hoping that things get a little easier as the days go by.

My heart goes out to all of you. I hate that we're here, but at least we're in this together.

Re: First miscarriage and devastated

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I had my second loss in June and it's still hard some days.
    Just take it one day at a time. Take all the time you need to grieve and try to take care of yourself. I hope you have a good support system around you to help you through this.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. My experience was similar to yours-- found out at 11.5 weeks that baby stopped growing at 8 weeks 6 days. It is absolutely devastating.

    BFP #1: 08/17/2012  DD1 born 05/01/2013

    BFP #2: 07/31/2015  M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)

    BFP #3: 12/16/2015 DD2 born 8/27/2016
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  • @Tippy05
    I am so sorry for your loss. It is very hard to deal with this and it does help that everyone on here can relate in someway. it has been about 2 months from my MC and I still find days where I have breakdowns, it is a bumpy road but knowing that others have been thru this and that things have looked up for them gives me hope. You will have bad days and good days, just know you are not alone and take all the time you need to heal and grieve. My heart goes out to you, and also know that you are a mommy, a mommy to an angel :x
  • askye1212askye1212
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2015
    I am sorry, that you are going through this difficult time. I too have just been through this myself this week. I found that talking to others on this board as helpful. They are all just like us and have been through a loss. They are special ladies. But, in all honesty my husband has been extremely helpful. Without the help of him, I am not sure if I would have been able to pull through this week if it was not for him. Remember we are not the only ones going through a loss but they are too. We have to be conscious of their feelings. But our health first but be their for them too. No one ever thinks they will go through this, but it happens for a reason. I do hope you find a mechanism to cope. For me that is talking about it with my spouse and being on this board. We will never understand what happened. It is draining emotionally and physically, I have been tired for days. Keep your self occupied. 
  • I went through this 8 weeks ago. We just buried our little one. This weekend is horrible. I have spoken to friends who went through this and they say it never leaves you. This is the kind of hole in your heart that cannot be filled. But I personally take it one day at a time and try to focus on the second round of IVF that I'm slowly preparing for. Hang in there. It does get easier though. Deep breaths and cry as much as you need to. Love to you and everyone else on the bump.
  • I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through . Talking to close friends that are supportive has been helpful for me as well as reading others stories and feeling validated in my emotions after joining this group. We are here for you . It will get better slowly but surely . It's been 9 days since our loss and it's starting to get a little easier
  • I would like to express my sorrow to you. I just lost my pregnancy at 6 weeks 3 days. I can only imagine having bonded with my baby for double that time before such a loss. I am so sorry for what agony and extreme disappointment you must be going through. I know our situations are different, but I do understand the loss of a dreamed for, hoped for, loved baby. All the expectations. How sudden it was. How unnerving. 

    May we both (and ALL of us on here) go forward with trust and confidence and love and have healthy pregnancies after this, when we are ready, as many, many MANY COUNTLESS women do after a MC.
    Due with rainbow rainbow rainbow baby on 9/29/17
    It's been a long road- Let's just say that! 
  • lawbebe1176lawbebe1176
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited October 2015
    So sorry to hear you're going through this. I got pregnant for the first time in March of this year and lost my baby at 7 weeks. It was difficult and sad in ways I never would have anticipated, and I'm still not quite over the loss. Part of what was so hard was the shock and surprise I felt at being so devastated by everything. Anyway, I waited three cycles as told by my dr. and had a BFP in July. I am now about 16 weeks along with a healthy baby girl and I couldn't be more excited. It has been an anxiety ridden process for sure, and definitely feels different than I ever imagined, but my previous loss has made me stronger and more sure than ever that I am ready for my rainbow baby. No matter how difficult it seems you will all get through this awful time. Good luck and best wishes to everyone :)
  • I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss.  We are all here together - absolutely. Being able to support each other here is incredibly special and important.

    I just had my first loss as well about 2 weeks ago. It would have been our first child.  The due date was too perfect, we would have told people over the holidays...the dreams we had for this child were emerging and taken away too quickly.  It's devastating.  We were 6 weeks along, so a bit different than your situation (although all of our stories are different).  It's completely draining as you said, both physically and emotionally.  Add in mentally, too, for all of the energy spent trying to rationalize.  We know we didn't do anything to bring this on, but trying to answer "why me" and "what did I do" is truly exhausting.  In the days and weeks ahead, those questions will continue for you as will "why is she pregnant" and "why does it seem so easy for everyone else".  We all are trying to rationalize something that unfortunately doesn't have an answer.

    I wish you the best in the weeks ahead.  I can tell you this - your loss is so fresh in your mind and body right now that it feels it will never get better. Those first few days I lost myself.  It was like the world was on overload but also completely blank at the same time, and I felt hollow.  You likely feel quite helpless and hopeless and don't have many more tears left to cry.  My heart aches for you, as I can remember exactly how I was feeling those first days.  Although my loss is also recent, I can tell you that you will smile again and move forward. You will find joy around you.  Take a walk outside if you can soon - that has been my meditation.  Although I am still having bad days, some ok days are working in, too.  It may sound strange, but I feel that I am a better person after this experience.  I am stronger and have a new view that illogical things can happen, but it makes us appreciate the good that much more.  This will never go away for any of us, but time truly does help.  Take care of yourself and give your mind and heart time to heal.
  • I'm so sorry for what you're going through.  It's so hard to go through this at the end of the 1st tri, just when you think you're finally safe.  Hang in there!
    4 early losses 2009, 2010, 2015.  Baby #1 born 2/13/11.  
  • I am in the same boat I just miscarried at 6 weeks except it was my second mc
  • I am so sorry for your loss
  • I am very sorry for your loss @Tippy05 , there is probably nothing else anyone can say to make you feel better, but just know (as PPs have said) that time will heal you. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally.
    I am currently going through my second loss in 5 months, so I am very disheartened but I am also hopeful. I hope that we can help you get through this together.
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I do not feel alone. That's the one thing I can say for sure.

    5 weeks ago i went to the dr for cramping in my left side thinking it was an ovarian cyst, as i have had one before. I got a call a couple days later, we went in and got the result, were pregnant. Over the past few weeks i have still had the pain in my left, dr said it may just be growing pains .
    Yestersay I should be 11wks . Went for our first prenatal apt yesterday and couldn't find the heartbeat with the Doppler, Dr said not to worry and to come back in a week.
    Later in the evening I began to spot dark brown/purple only when shipping, a couple hours later the same thing. I put on a linner and called health links (I'm in Canada) I was advised to go to emerg. They did blood, swabed for infection and sent me for ultrasound, this morning after the ultrasound the er Dr gave us the results, the baby measuring at about 5wks 6days had no heartbeat. But said it is still at an early stage.
    Advised me to get a follow-up ultrasound in 7-10 days and to check my HGC levels over the next few days.
    He could not confirm or deny that I was having a miscarriage.
    The spotting has been stopping and then it will start again. It is not alot of blood, but still.
    We are still hoping for the best. That it could just be to early in the pregnancy to detect heartbeat, maybe we got the pregnancy test just after we got pregnant, . Maybe it was a cyst that has ruptured.
    But at the back of my mind I keep thinking maybe maybe maybe.
    Reading about your experiences makes me feel better knowing that we are not alone.
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