Trouble TTC

Ugh feeling like giving up.

First off I love my doctor I see. She specials in infertility however is not a RE. Her sister is in her practice and she is my OB. I just left there office after being on clomid for the first round all to find out it didn't work for me. I had ultrasounds and blood work both done. So sad that it didn't work. She did mention to try one more round which would be my second round. And then she said if that didn't work she had a specialist she would send me to and try a different route maybe a IUI. But then my husband has made it clear he doesn't want to do IVF if it comes down to it. Ugh just feeling hopeless. Everyone around me is having kids and it seems like I'm the only one in our group having issues. Plus getting my blood work done again today the girl was terrible and double ugh.
Married for 3 years
Me: 28 DH: 33
Together for a total of 6 years
Fur mommy to two rescue dogs
DX: PCOS and Insulin Resistance

Irregular Cycles
2010: Laproscopy with Hystroscopy ablation. Tubes were clear.
1/5/2016 : DH sperm analysis is excellent.
February: Switched to a new RE
Two failed clomid rounds
March 2016: New HSG and found tubes are open
April 2016: Round one Letrozole 2.5 mg. Ultrasounds day 13 &16. No follicle grouth
May 2016: Had to take a month off
June 9th 2016: Started Letrozole again but at 5mg
July 5th: bfp beta 31
July 7th: Beta 97
July 9th: Beta 231
July 11th: Beta 500
July 13: Beta 1400
Beautiful son born 3/16/17 @ 1:38pm


Re: Ugh feeling like giving up.

  • I'm so sorry - that's a hard appointment for sure. Be kind to yourself today. Give yourself a day to indulge whatever helps your grief. But tomorrow, don't give up! Take this one cycle at a time. Who knows,maybe if it actually comes to it your DH will change his mind. Just worry about today today, and cross tomorrow's bridges when you get there. Infertility is a marathon not a sprint and it's so easy to get overwhelmed if you think too far ahead.

    I'm sending you giant internet hugs.
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

  • I always said no IVF and we have just set up our ivf consult! Lol Take it one day at a time. Each day brings new opportunities so it is hard to say for sure what you will or won't do later :) Focus on today and cross that bridge if you have to get there.

    RE DX for me: Anovulatory cycles/Mild PCOS  RE DX for DW: Endometrioma on left Ovary.
    Reciprocal Ivf Feb 2016. DW eggs and I am carrying. EDD: 10/27/16

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • riveridgionalriveridgional member
    edited October 2015
    I've had those days too! You'll pop back up prepared to take on the next cycle eventually even if it means you take a cycle off to regroup and refocus. Easier said than done but don't get discouraged about your first round not working. I'm not really sure exactly what you mean by "it didn't work". Did you just get your BFN or did you find out you didn't ovulate? Regardless, you are very early in the infertility treatment process, so try to be positive. If you didn't ovulate, a higher dose will probably work or a combo cycle or an inject cycle. If you didn't get your BFP, there could have been a number of reasons why it didn't work this time and no reason to believe it won't work next time.

    Hold on to the faith! If you're feeling distraught and like it will not happen, I recommend seeing an RE. This will help to ensure all proper pretesting and procedures are done. Also, it's easier to have a game plan and know the possibilities (plan b, c, etc..), and knowing your options may help you find your positivity with a disappointing cycle. There are multiple ways to attempt pregnancy before you get to the IVF stage unless your tubes are blocked and/or you have certain MFI issues.
    Married to DH 10/6/12
    TTC since 5/14
    Unexplained with (controlled) hypothyroidism and suspected ovulatory dysfunction (but, I do ovulate on my own)
    Clomid 50 mg 3/15 (unmonitored) - BFN
    Clomid 50 mg + metformin 4/15 (unmonitored) - BFN 
    First RE appt. 5/15; Natural cycle 5/15 monitored with 2 mature follicles and Pregnyl Trigger (full dose) + prometrium - BFN
    6/15 HSG - clear tubes & normal uterus; great PCT test results
    TI - 100 mg Clomid + prometrium (AM & PM) + vaginal estrace (AM & PM) 6-7/15 (monitored) --> no additional response and thinned lining - BFN
    TI - Injectables (follistim + Gonal-F, Ganirelix, & 1/2 dose Pregnyl) + prometrium (AM & PM) 9/15 --> 3-7 mature follicles (3 definites and 4+ that could have matured due to trigger) @ O -->BFN + 5 large cysts
    BC for 2 weeks due to cysts
    TI - Injectables (Gonal-F, Ganirelix & full dose Pregnyl) + prometrium (AM & PM) 10/15 --> 1 mature follicle --> BFN 
    TI - Last attempt at injectables (Gonal-F, Ganirelix & 1/2 dose Pregnyl) + crinone (AM only) + vaginal estrace (AM & PM) 11/15 --> 3-4 mature follicles --> BFP!! 11/27/15 @ 13dpo (shockingly, actually waited until then to test)

    Beta #1 @ 16dpo (11/30/15) = 1,075
    Beta #2 @ 19dpo (12/3/15) = 3,150
    One baby: Saw heartbeat @ 5w5d (114 bpm; baby measuring 2.3mm)

    "Great Things are Happening"
  • I feel you on the discouragement front. Tomorrow is a new day. I like the advice to be kind to yourself. I'm thinking a one night drinking fest might be in order. I'm feeling like some hard cider and a chick flick marathon might be just what I need!
    DX PCOS + mild male factor
    TTC since Dec. 2015
    Current Treatment: Metformin, Provera, Letrozole, Trigger, IUI
    Past Treatment: Clomid + Metformin x 3 BFN
    Letrozole 5 mg + Trigger shot + IUI = BFP!
    Beta confirmed 8/22
    EDD 5/1/17
  • Hugs.  I like the one cycle at a time mentality and definitely need those reminders right now.  

    @clt2pwm11, I am drinking an Angry Orchard and watching The Fosters right now, so your post was pretty on point :)
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • @BrightenMySky I love Angry Orchard (specifically the purple one).
    It can definitely get tough. I broke down the other night and told dh I didn't know if I could handle it again. I was so upset but now I'm not really sure why. Some days are just not as good as we hope. We just have to keep going and hope we get there before running out of gas. Of course it helps when you actually have people willing to listen and feel the pain too. ~hugs to my trouble ttc~
  • @mackenzie07 sorry you're feeling depressed. Been there, done that. We did 2 rounds of IUIs and also IVFS but no success. Each failed attempt left me devastated and heartbroken and it never gets easy no matter how many cycles you go through. Hugs to you.
    TTC for Baby #1 for 3 years. After 2 failed IUI's & IVFs, God blessed us with our miracle :).  FET 12/17/15 (transferred 2 embryos at 5days). First Beta 12/29/15 = 354. Second Beta 12/31/15 = 694. Third Beta 1/7/16 = 6,695.  Finally heard his heartbeat (126)  on 1/14/16 @ our 1st US.  2nd US on 1/21/16, HR was 159.  The most beautiful sound ever :) 
  • yellingbananayellingbanana member
    edited October 2015
    I totally feel you. In fact, we are taking a break from the RE for a couple of months during the holidays. I'm gonna get all hippy on ya and start taking FertilAid and using the Instead Softcups cervical cups to increase my odds. Just a short break from the RE, I feel like my emotions are so up and down when I keep going in. I guess it gets my hopes up, and then it doesn't work. So it feels like I'm wasting my time and might as well be doing what we were doing in the first place! Anyways, sorry for my short rant, it does get rough. We are all making the best decisions for our situations, just remember that you are not alone.

    Now for that glass of wine, or if you are in WA like me, I might consider a little *special* chocolate truffle. ;)

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • susykat77susykat77 member
    edited October 2015
    I can so relate. Sending internet hugs to you. I like the one cycle at a time suggestion but as a planner, I know it is hard to do. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. My sister always says to me, get a glass of wine, take a bath and cry. Let the tears wash away when you let the water out and get up and put one foot in front of the other. I like the visual of my tears washing away and the finite time period for crying... Although I have been know to stay in bed crying all day after AF showed up.  >:D<

    edited for spelling

    ***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***

    me 38 DH 39.  
    TTC#1 since July 2014
    AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
    Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
    2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
    Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
    Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15

    DE attempt in Czech Republic!! 

    March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. :sob:
    Headed to Prague April 30
    3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
    2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16
    BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
    Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
    Heartbeat at 6w5d 133BPM <3
    We are having a GIRL!!! Due Jan 26, 2017

    BabyFruit Ticker

    My blog:

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @turtle148, it was the purple one!  (Followed by a mug of hot cider with Snap, which I highly recommend.)

    I just went in for monitoring this morning, which was supposed to be my beta, and even though I had called to let them know I wanted to be on the schedule for monitoring, I had to explain it again when I got there.  I didn't cry, though, which I sort of thought I might do (not that there's anything wrong with crying, I just was hoping not to do it at the RE's office this morning before work as I've already done some crying at home over this cycle).  And things hopefully look good to do a second clomid IUI cycle, and I am going to try to do acupuncture timed with the cycle as well this time.
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
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