DH refusing to do maternity photos

racheldelacruz

So my friend is a photographer.. And she asked if I would do a FREE maternity shoot because she wants to build her portfolio in that area. Of course I said yes

My husband thinks maternity pictures are dumb though and is refusing to go. He hates any and all pictures of himself but he also knows this is important to me.

Would it be weird to do them alone?

blended10

Def not weird to go alone. Honestly I think some of the nicest mat photos are just mama. I hate pics of me, too, so I get where he's coming from. Maybe ask him if he likes seeing pics of his parents from before he was born? The photos are only partly for you two. If he doesn't come around you should def still go!

racheldelacruz

I don't blame him for not wanting the pictures of himself. His parents have never made a big deal about pictures... In fact, they don't even have baby pictures of him that I've seen. So I get it... But I'm still feeling hurt (scratch that... Emotional oye) because I'm the complete opposite and think pictures are important. It's this afternoon so I'll still go but I'm holding onto some hope that he will change his mind

willashbaby

Most of the ones I've seen have at most a few with Daddy and the rest are just of Mom. Would he be willing to compromise and do one where maybe it's just his hands on your belly or something? So you can look back at the pic and know it's him without all of him being in it?

ACarter0914

Do them alone! I'm actually kicking my DH out of some of them. Like a PP has said if you can compromise and he can do like one or two with you just to be able to show your son/daughter

kristen2b

One of my fave pictures in the world of my husband and I is from my maternity shoot. He didn't want to do them either but we compromised and he stopped by for 30 minutes for a few quick ones. Five years later he still thanks me for "making" him go.

EmmyMommy123

I agree with PPs - definitely go alone and don't feel bad about it, this is a beautiful time in your life and your body is going through an amazing change and it's a lovely thing to document. If he can be convinced to step in for a few shots he can say he doesn't want them put up in the house or online after the fact if he's still unhappy, but then at least there's an option and maybe like @kristin2b 's husband he'll realize it was a great thing!

We had our maternity pictures yesterday with a friend and I really didn't consult my DH as I knew it might be an issue, I just told him "this is what we're doing, where we're doing it, and when. Wear this - and look like you love me" lol. It ended up being a lovely time of us laughing and cuddling and we agreed it was nice.

ammnam14

It must be a guy thing lol my husband is the same way.

You have received tons of great advice here. It's not weird to do them by yourself either. Most maternity pictures I have seen online are of the mother by herself.

blessedwtwins

I agree with @kristen2b and her way of doing it via compromise. Try to work out a time, 10, 20, 30 minutes only of him in several shots. Have them figured out ahead of time with your friend so you can make the most of your time together.
My husband hates doing pictures but honestly, men have it so easy for pregnancy, it's one of the few things he can suck it up and do.

BellaM110

My friend just went thru this. Her husband refused so she just did them alone. I have seen many women do them alone and they still turn out beautiful.

Now what I would suggest is if you plan to get newborn photos done, insist that he take a few photos alone with baby and as a family. He needs to compromise with you and at least agree go those. Those are memories and photos you'll never get to create again!

wetherbeee

Nope nope nope. If my DH refused to do them, I would remind him that I am carrying his child and that he has sat there day by day watching what I go through, from morning sickness to no longer fitting in my pants. 30 minutes won't kill him.

Or maybe I'm just mean... :-??

Court11152325

We just had ours done this weekend and the photographer did several close up shots of our hands on my belly. Maybe ask if he'll join you for shots like that and then he's not actually in the pictures, but you'll have some shots in the future where technically you're both in them. Also, maybe if he tags along he'll want to join you for a couple? I would make sure that he knows it's a no pressure situation.

yl1m32015

My dh didn't have a choice. These are precious moments and I wanted photos of our excitement and anticipation. Our photos came out gorgeous and I'm so glad we did them. We even brought our dog and got a few family shots.

RSB1982

I don't think it would be weird to do them alone, go for it.  If you really want him in some of the photos, maybe try showing him a few sample photos so he knows what you are looking for.  Some maternity photos can look a little awkward so I can understand why men are hesitant to do them.  I for one am not am not a fan of maternity photos and will not be having any taken.  I just don't know what I would do with them, I don't think I would frame and hang any in my house.  Maybe put a few in a baby book?  Anyway, since your friend is offering to do them for free and its important to you, there's no harm in having them done solo.  Maybe your DH will change his mind.  

LaceyH13

Do you have pets or anything that you could make it more of a "family photo" rather than specifically maternity pictures? Maybe if there was a puppy or something in the picture too he wouldn't feel as awkward? Maybe not....just brainstorming here.

VesperLove

Definitely not weird to do them alone. My husband is willing but I can tell he's not thrilled about it. Our compromise is that if I do maternity photos (still deciding if we have the funds) they will be individual ... but we are also doing newborn photos and he will be in those once it's the whole family. We figured they are so close together in time frame and those are the more important ones for him to be present in - once our little guy is here. 

taysun

twoandtwomakes4 said:

@kristin2b, I bet he thanks you sarcastically after you forced him to do photos.

OP, don't force your man into something just because internet strangers tell you to. 

Wow this was really rude and out of no where.

ChiccoBeanz

twoandtwomakes4 said:

@kristin2b, I bet he thanks you sarcastically after you forced him to do photos.

OP, don't force your man into something just because internet strangers tell you to. 

Yikes, that was rude and unnecessary. Everyone's husband and family is different.

OP, if it is important to you, figure out a compromise and suggest it. If that doesn't work, then leave it alone.

ChiccoBeanz

twoandtwomakes4 said:

@kristin2b, I bet he thanks you sarcastically after you forced him to do photos.

OP, don't force your man into something just because internet strangers tell you to. 

Yikes, that was rude and unnecessary. Everyone's husband and family is different.

OP, if it is important to you, figure out a compromise and suggest it. If that doesn't work, then leave it alone.

mtownhespes

twoandtwomakes4 said:

@kristin2b, I bet he thanks you sarcastically after you forced him to do photos.

OP, don't force your man into something just because internet strangers tell you to. 

I'm just another internet stranger, but I think she was being serious that after she convinced her husband to do it, he was grateful afterwards. No forcing required.

And I'm the one who doesn't want pictures. Starting to dislike what I see in pictures of myself. And then I eat more ice cream.

caitlyn5454

twoandtwomakes4 said:

@kristin2b, I bet he thanks you sarcastically after you forced him to do photos.

OP, don't force your man into something just because internet strangers tell you to. 

A) Why are you jumping down @kristen2b's throat when she was just being helpful and providing OP with her experience? I mean, hot damn, that was entirely irrelevant.

Nobody said "force." The word you are looking for is compromise. It's important to her to have them (with him in at least some pictures), therefore her best option is to look for a compromise.

hplunkett2883

@kristen2b tell me how you "forced" your husband into doing something? Did you have to use blackmail? Withhold sex? Or did you put a gun to his head? I am curious as to how a husband is "forced" by his wife.

caitlyn5454

hplunkett2883 said:

@kristen2b tell me how you "forced" your husband into doing something? Did you have to use blackmail? Withhold sex? Or did you put a gun to his head? I am curious as to how a husband is "forced" by his wife.

kristen2b

twoandtwomakes4 said:

@kristin2b, I bet he thanks you sarcastically after you forced him to do photos.

OP, don't force your man into something just because internet strangers tell you to. 

He forces me to let him fist me so my vagina won't get to tore up during labor, I force him to do maternity shoots. I figure we're even.

ETA back up off me. Do you even go here??

hplunkett2883

I love how people just assume they know people and how they are or what they think. Trolls gunna troll....

EmmyMommy123

There's a difference between an opinion and a judgement... An opinion would be "I personally wouldn't ask my husband to do them if he didn't want to". Betting on the relationship dynamics of a stranger in a negative light feels like a judgement.

ACarter0914

Are you married? @twoandtwomakes4 because if you were you would know marriage is give and take.

VesperLove

twoandtwomakes4 said:

Ummm, yes I go here. I thought this was a place we could voice our opinions. My opinion is that you forced your husband to do them and he is too scared to tell you that he isn't thankful for it. 

And for all of you ladies who are claiming I am rude, it's called an opinion and that is mine. 

Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion ... no, other people don't have to sit down and be okay with it when it's obviously based on assumptions and judgments that you know nothing about ... and comes off very rude and abrasive. 

It's one thing to respond to @kristen2b's comment and say "I disagree, even if he might be thankful later I don't think you should try and get him to take photos if he's already told you he doesn't want to" versus the way you responded ... one is an opinion, the other is just straight up rude. 

dp1320

Nowhere in her post did she say she "forced" her husband to go... they compromised...which is what marriage is all about. Sounds like a rather healthy relationship to me.

hplunkett2883

Wow @twoandtwomakes4. Most of us have been around since the very beginning of our pregnancies and have gotten to know each other pretty well. You just joined a few weeks ago and your very first post was (in my opinion) very rudely directed at a really great person. You don't know her or her husband and what you call an opinion was actually an assumption. You are pretty brave to jump in here making those kind of assumptions about long time members and their husbands. Maybe you should have started off by introducing yourself and try to get to know people before you stirred up a shit pot.

taysun

Hey @kristen2b can you provide tips on how to force your SO to do stuff he doesn't want to? I really don't feel like doing laundry anymore.

VesperLove

hplunkett2883 said:

Wow @twoandtwomakes4. Most of us have been around since the very beginning of our pregnancies and have gotten to know each other pretty well. You just joined a few weeks ago and your very first post was (in my opinion) very rudely directed at a really great person. You don't know her or her husband and what you call an opinion was actually an assumption. You are pretty brave to jump in here making those kind of assumptions about long time members and their husbands. Maybe you should have started off by introducing yourself and try to get to know people before you stirred up a shit pot.

:x

Mother0fDragons

twoandtwomakes4 said:

Ummm, yes I go here. I thought this was a place we could voice our opinions. My opinion is that you forced your husband to do them and he is too scared to tell you that he isn't thankful for it. 

And for all of you ladies who are claiming I am rude, it's called an opinion and that is mine. 

You can voice your opinions, but there are ways to go about it so they won't come off as rude! There was nothing in @kristen2b's post about forcing her husband to do anything. If you were to re-read her post, you would see that she put quotes around the word making.

nik6499

Wow what is with the influx of trolls? Isn't it Odd at the END of our pregnancies to suddenly have a bunch of random new people that feel the need to troll??

kristen2b

taysun said:

Hey @kristen2b can you provide tips on how to force your SO to do stuff he doesn't want to? I really don't feel like doing laundry anymore.

I have a pair of handcuffs and a whip. I find it works quite well.

beccabeeee

Lmao @twoandtwomakes4 for saying he was probably too scared to say anything... It's not like she grabbed his junk and said "You are gunna do these maternity photos with me!"
If you have an opinion that's relevant to the original post then feel free to say what you gotta say, but don't come on here and single someone out about a situation you have no knowledge about

taysun

kristen2b said:

taysun said:

Hey @kristen2b can you provide tips on how to force your SO to do stuff he doesn't want to? I really don't feel like doing laundry anymore.

I have a pair of handcuffs and a whip. I find it works quite well.

Do you think I can register for those?

kristen2b

taysun said:

kristen2b said:

taysun said:

Hey @kristen2b can you provide tips on how to force your SO to do stuff he doesn't want to? I really don't feel like doing laundry anymore.

I have a pair of handcuffs and a whip. I find it works quite well.

Do you think I can register for those?

I've heard if you use baby list you can register from anywhere! You might also want to go ahead and register for a jar to keep his balls in. I like to keep his on my nightstand. I found this beautiful old antique apothecary jar that I keep them in. Try etsy or eBay for that one.