STM guilt - please tell me it gets better

vamomtobe

My daughter is a week old and I'm having a really hard time dealing with missing spending time with my son.  He's 3 and a half, and is so used to me being attached to baby sister that he doesn't want much to do with me.  It's breaking my heart.  I feel so sad and guilty.  Moms of 2+, please tell me this gets better.  I know it will in time, but it would really help to hear your stories.  Thanks!

rm0nique

Same situation but my son is almost 5 and baby girl is a week and a half... I sure hope it does get better...

Carahall

I'm feeling the same way with our almost 2 year old daughter. I keep a journal I write to her in, and that helps. I also document stuff she's doing/saying and that helps me focus on her some too.

amberrmariee20

My son just turned 4, I've been in hospital since Wednesday morning, my newborn son was born Wednesday night and my 4 year old came to visit Thursday and he's so nervous around the baby and didn't want to come sit next to us. It's definitely heart breaking. But once we all get home and he gets used to it I know everything will get better (: !

MauKa23

My son is almost three and baby girl is now two weeks. We still are figuring things out, but I feel like we're on a good path. I've made a point to involve him with her -- getting diapers, holding her, having him kiss her bye and good night, etc, and it seems to have helped. We do put her in a bouncer so I can still do bedtime cuddles with him and he always gets a free arm for movies and whatnot. I think all of the little things add up... I'm hoping, anyways!

NathanheartsKim

We are about to have baby #3 and it does get better. My advice is to be consistent in the rules, don't go easy just because you feel guilt. I also highly recommend giving the kiddo ways to help. My oldest was 21mo when we had her sister and wanted to help with everything, including feeding the baby. Since I nursed, I just had her hold baby's feet. I had her bring me diapers, books to read, run dirty clothes to the hamper, and any other little errand I could think of. They adjust and in a few months when baby is giggling at their older sibling, it will seem like a distant memory.

Mbechara

When I went from 1 to 2 I felt the same. I didn't realize
That most women feel this way until I started taking about it.
It does get better with time.
If u can, try to spend time with baby #1 doing something u both enjoyed uninterrupted.
I know how bad that feeling of guilt is thinking if you have made a "mistake " having #2.

I'm going to be having my #3 so I'm sure when he come I'll be feeling that all over again.