TTCAL weekly check-in 10/12

AL_TwinCities

If you haven't joined the weekly check-in before, please join now by answering these questions. If you have joined the check-in before, feel free to just answer 2 & 3 or share any update you'd like!

1. Introduce yourself

2. Status (ex: Months/Cycles TTCAL and WTO or TWW, benched or currently going through a loss)

3. GTKY: What was the most helpful thing someone said or did after your loss, or what have you done that was the most comforting/healing?

LilLambie

Hi.

I'm currently 3 dpo. Hoping af won't show so I can give hubby a nice birthday surprise- his birthday is the day after af is due.

The most helpful thing that someone did was the people I work with planning my lessons. I'm a high school teacher and even if we are sick we still have to plan lessons to send through each morning. I had to have 2 weeks off (1 just after my stillbirth and the 2nd a couple weeks later after my d&c) and whenever I was having a rough time they would help me out. My boss was also good. I was supposed to be having a performance review and she got it postponed until this term which is 4 months after it was due.

I've found people don't know what to say which I'm glad for. If people knew what to say it means they have had experience with other people having loses. I'm glad I am the only person they know to go through this because it gives me hope that it won't happen again.

PeggyOlsonFTW

2. Waiting for AF. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since my d&c, so hoping she shows up soon. FF gave me dotted crosshairs this morning so hopefully I actually did O and we'll be on track to really TTC soon

3. My best friends dropped everything the day after my d&c and came over to visit and keep my mind off the fact that I was supposed to be having an NT scan that day. They brought bagels, coffee, wine and chocolate too.

ceclarlinetlo

2. Still benched. 1 month exactly from my appointment with an RE

3. After my first loss two dear friends from out of state sent me a surprise box full of things to make me smile and it arrived the day of my follow up appointment after my D&C. It came in the mail just before I left so I couldnt really open it but I though about that box to keep me from crying in the waiting room.

Chichigo

2. I'm waiting to O/ CD 7

3. A friend came to spend the day with me while I was waiting for the miscarriage to complete; I had been in the ER the night before and my husbnd couldn't take time off work. She developed a back up plan in case my husband couldn't make my doctors appointment and/or my in-laws couldn't watch my toddler so I wouldn't be alone.

carrieandr

2. I got a peak opk reading this morning, but DH may not be well enough to TTC for the second month in a row. :-<

3. Someone sent me some pajamas after my d&e, which was really nice. But the most helpful thing has been the friendship I made with one of the girls on the Bump. We email each other every day.

Steelerfan78

1. Hi, I'm new here. I got my first ever BFP on 8/4/2015 (EDD 4/12/2016). Had to wait for an US until 11 weeks. It was there that we were told there was no HB and only measured 5w5d. Had MC 2 days later. I am so grateful for this website, it has really been helpful during all of this! 
2. Currently benched. Dr advised to wait 3 months to TTC again. I think ♫ the waiting is the hardest part. ♪
3. The most comforting/healing thing I have done is start reading the Outlander series. It has been such a pleasant distraction and really helps time go by faster. Since I was home in bed for nearly a week, I got through the first 2 books and am now half way through the 3rd. It was recommended by the ladies in my previous BMB and I am so glad I started it. 

Sarafuss

2. Status:  Month 5/Cycle 4, CD 10 today.  Took 5mg of Femara days 3-7 along with taking Metformin everyday.  First monitoring appt is on Wednesday morning.
3. GTKY: What was the most helpful thing someone said or did after your loss, or what have you done that was the most comforting/healing?  I don't think there was anything anyone said or did.  But just having my two other kids there really helped me.  I am so grateful for them and that helped my perspective.  It also made it easier to get back to "normal life" because we had to keep things normal for them.  

linnea625

1. I'm not new to the bump but this is the first time I've replied to this thread so I'll introduce myself. I had a bfp in February but miscarried in April at 8.5 weeks after having heard the heartbeat at my first appointment. It took a long time for af to come back and then I had several anovulatory cycles. We started trying again last month.

2. WTO / CD2 2nd cycle ttc since the miscarriage.

3. My cousin who had had a mc a year or so before me sent me a lot of Facebook messages of encouragement and what to expect etc. it was really helpful to hear from someone who r

mrsmommya

2. @KDHB13 My FF also gave crosshairs this morning for Friday. Confirming with temps over the next few days but hoping this is it! I was told one period so after AF shows it will be our first cycle trying.

3. My aunt helped alot. She has been through this and offered some religious advice. I never really had a good connection this pregnancy and was apprehensive about EVERYTHING. I didn't even want to talk about baby names or anything. She told me God never planned this baby to make it to earth and that really resonated with me. This baby was chosen to go straight to heaven. Which is a beautiful thing.

PeggyOlsonFTW

Fx for you @mrsmommya! I kind of wish I had starting temping sooner after my d&c. I didn't start until CD 21, so who knows if the crosshairs are actually accurate. Hoping AF shows soon!

MamaBish

2. Ttcal tww 8dpo

3. Therapy. DH talked me into going even though I didn't want to. It was really helpful.

AL_TwinCities

I am on cycle 17 TTC, including my chemical over a year ago. Currently in the TWW (I think. Pretty sure I O'd yesterday, just waiting for 2 more high temps to confirm).

I think the best has been just hearing my family and friends saying they are thinking of me. I don't need specific words but knowing I'm in their thoughts is comforting. And a year after I told my family I was pregnant, which also happened to be my bday, I got a tattoo to commemorate the loss. It is a triangle, to represent mother, father, child. This baby made us a family even though we lost it so early. It is a nice comfort to look down at my wrist and always have it with me.

kristieeq

1. Not new to the bump, but new to this thread. I'm Kristie, I've had 2 MC's this year. Currently awaiting blood tests in the process of trying to find out what causes my losses. I rely on this forum to connect with others going through the same thing, it comforts me so much.

2. 12 months TTCAL, WTO

3. The most comforting thing? Writing. I keep a journal and spill all of my thoughts and frustration as I get through this. Sometimes it's nice to read back through a few of the harder times and see how far I've come. A little stronger each day.

queen_frostine

2. Status: I, too, recently got my crosshairs; should be menstruating in a little under two weeks. Then it will take me probably a month(!) after that to ovulate again, since my cycles are long. Sooo tired of this waiting.

3. GTKY: What was the most helpful thing someone said or did after your loss, or what have you done that was the most comforting/healing? One of my Facebook friends has had five or six miscarriages and a stillbirth. She posts a lot about pregnancy and infant loss and I appreciate that, as well as knowing other people who have had miscarriages followed by successful pregnancies. Also, it helped me to do research (that always grounds me). So I read a book on miscarriages and downloaded some academic articles to read. That helped and I feel like that full attention got it out of my system. It was directed energy rather than just brooding.

R0824H

Hi ladies,

2.still currently going through a loss, hoping to call my OB tomorrow to see if he wants to draw betas until I hit 0 or just see him if any other problems come up...I'm not sure if he will be open to start testing to see what the cause of my recurrent losses are or if he will still want me to wait until we get closer to a year (we started in July so we are only on our 4th month and 3rd cycle).

3. I haven't found much that helps other than I have a few close people on here I pm and I find I get a lot of baking done...doesn't help with my weight loss goals but it keeps me busy for at least an hour or 2. My mom took Friday off work early and surprised me with Taco Bell and had flowers delivered to my house. At first I thought the flowers were kind of an odd thing to do, but she picked my late Grandma's favourite flowers (she always knew the right thing to say or do) so whenever I walk by them I take a deep breathe in and they make me smile. So that's keeping me pretty positive right now. I think the worst part about dealing is the up and down emotions, I'm happy, I'm bitchy, I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm emotionless...round and round goes the carousel of  emotions.

bgf1

1. Hi. I am new here but not too the bump. I had a bfp in February, and found out I had a MMC in April at 9.5 weeks (baby measured just shy of 7 weeks). Ihad a D&c a few weeks later. My edd is in early November and I never imagined in would not be b pregnant again by now. So have been inspired to be a bit more active in the TTC group. 2. Tww, of cycle 4 ttc ak 3. I did a counselling session a couple weeks ago which was good... Also just being open about my loss and if I am struggling with friends/immediate family has been good.

carrieandr

@bgf1, my EDD is coming up, too. Like you, I never imagined I wouldn't be pregnant again by then. @linnea625, I'm glad you are able to try again.

reesaXden

1. Introduce yourself:
I got my BFP on July 19th with a EDD of March 30th. We had a perfect 8week ultrasound but when we went for the 12w scan there was no heartbeat. We did a D&C the same day, sept 11.. Which also was my birthday My dr followed my levels all the way to zero and I started my period exactly one month after the procedure.

2. Status (ex: Months/Cycles TTCAL and WTO or TWW, benched or currently going through a loss).
- Now that AF is here we are cleared to start TTC again. I'm on cycle day 3 now.

3. GTKY: What was the most helpful thing someone said or did after your loss, or what have you done that was the most comforting/healing?
-One of my very best friends went and got me a bouquet of flowers and had them on my dining room table once we arrived home after the D&C. It was so sweet.

GypsyHippie

Hi all- first time posting to this thread! BFP 3/24/15, saw the heartbeat 4/22/15, no heartbeat at our 12 week appt on 5/20/15. D&C on 5/22/15. 1st AF came back exactly 6 weeks later on 7/3/15. We have been ttc the past 2 months and I'm currently waiting on AF. 

Comfort- having my husband to lean on. My friends, God love them, were not there for me. It's something I still struggle with to this day to forgive them for their ignorance. The biggest thing that helped me move on was buying a new house and moving. 

crob5685

Hi All! This is my 1st cycle TTCAL. AF finally returned after 14 weeks. Currently WTO. I am temping for the first time, I wasn't planning on it but feel like I've wasted so many months and have long cycles (40 days) so want to give myself the best chance each cycle since I have so many fewer opportunities.

I didn't tell anyone for a long time. Honestly finally telling someone made me feel a lot better. I've decided that I will continue to tell people if it comes up naturally because it does make me feel better having people who know what I have/am going through.

loveinak

1. Hi. I received my first BFD on 8/8/15 and on 8/31/15 we saw a heartbeat. We thought we were at 8 weeks but I as measured at 6. I woke up on 9/27/15 with mucus and spotting and by that evening I was in the hospital miscarrying. The hospital dated me 12 weeks (so I was a bit confused) and said the MC probably started around 8 weeks as my HCG levels were 4,500. It took about 8 days to MC. This was our first pregnancy.

2. During my ultrasound, they discovered I have a septate uterus so I have to wait for AF, then hopefully I can move forward and have the procedure to remove the tissue. The doctor said it could be 1-3 months before we can TTC based on the severity of the condition which they won't know until the procedure takes place.

3. I was really worried I would be judged by others as I have been more annoyed and frustrated rather than sad regarding the loss and the medical issues following (it makes me seem cold-hearted). Those who knew were extremely supportive but also gave me the space I needed. I don't do well with sympathy and am uncomfortable if I am the center of attention. I was thankful to have people who could provide the level of sympathy my husband needed, as he and I process our emotions very differently. My friends and family would talk about it if I wanted to, but otherwise, would engage as if nothing happened.

ceclarlinetlo

loveinak said:

1. Hi. I received my first BFD on 8/8/15 and on 8/31/15 we saw a heartbeat. We thought we were at 8 weeks but I as measured at 6. I woke up on 9/27/15 with mucus and spotting and by that evening I was in the hospital miscarrying. The hospital dated me 12 weeks (so I was a bit confused) and said the MC probably started around 8 weeks as my HCG levels were 4,500. It took about 8 days to MC. This was our first pregnancy.

2. During my ultrasound, they discovered I have a septate uterus so I have to wait for AF, then hopefully I can move forward and have the procedure to remove the tissue. The doctor said it could be 1-3 months before we can TTC based on the severity of the condition which they won't know until the procedure takes place.

3. I was really worried I would be judged by others as I have been more annoyed and frustrated rather than sad regarding the loss and the medical issues following (it makes me seem cold-hearted). Those who knew were extremely supportive but also gave me the space I
needed. I don't do well with sympathy and am uncomfortable if I am the
center of attention. I was thankful to have people who could provide the level of sympathy my husband needed, as he and I process our emotions very differently. My friends and family would talk about it if I
wanted to, but otherwise, would engage as if nothing happened.

I'm so sorry for your loss! But It's so great that you found out about the septum now! I didn't find out about mine until after my second loss. I have an appointment with an RE in November to set up surgery because my OB doesn't do it.

R0824H

@ressaXden @BreezyMemphis @crob5865 @loveinak

I'm so sorry for your losses! Welcome to the TTCAL group, I wish you all the best of luck continuing your TTC journey and FX for a future sticky bean.

loveinak

@ceclarlinetlo I'm relieved they were able to figure it out for you this time around! Good luck with the surgery!

mom2adoodle

1. Hi everyone! I am 28, DH is 34 and we have a 1 year old dog. 

2. I am currently going through a loss at 5 weeks 4 days. We got a BFP the first month after TTC. We were elated. Only to go through a chemical (yuck, ugly name) pregnancy. As of now benched for the next cycle at least....

3. My neighbor brought me flowers and shared her own story of loss with me. She is much older than me and it was so nice to connect with her in that way. My mom said my baby will come soon enough and to just keep smiling. That helped  

winnie1122

2. TWW 3dpo. We'll see!

3. After my first loss, the most helpful thing was people bringing food and just sitting wih me. Words just made me angry, to be honest. I know they just didn't know what to say. I was touched by the women who opened up to me about their losses, that gave me a lot of hope. We didn't tell anyone about losses 2 or 3, too hard. After this last loss, we've opened up to more people. My husband just told our Bible study group last week, which was HUGE. He has a lot of anger about it so it's really hard for him to talk about it without breaking down. We're finding it surprisingly healing to open up now.

fairygirl86

3 cycles since loss, I'm believe I'm in my tww I bought clearblue advanced and got my smiley Monday then Tuesday night Wednesday morning I had ewm which I've never actually seen since my pregnancy in April so hoping this is our lucky cycle.

GTKY the best thing someone did was just being there to listen to me.

Bookhousegirl

Hi Everyone! 

2. Still benched for this cycle so waiting for AF. I've started temping again so I can figure out if I O this cycle and have a little more of an idea of what my body is doing. I'm having a hard time getting back into the routine of it, I keep getting out of bed and realizing that I forgot to take my temp! 

3. The most comforting thing after my loss was talking with my sister-in-law. She experienced a loss last spring and it was amazing to get to talk to someone who knew what I was going through. For myself, music and reading have been my outlets. Music for if I just want to listen to something sappy and cry and reading for a distraction.

hinek

1. Introduce yourself- I'm 29, mother of an 8 year old, been ttc for a year now.

2. Status (ex: Months/Cycles TTCAL and WTO or TWW, benched or currently going through a loss)- I'm going through my 2nd loss. My first loss was in February 2015, I was about 6 weeks, I passed the miscarriage naturally. On October 13th 2015, I went in for my regular ob checkup, I was 12w3d but the baby had no heartbeat anymore and stopped growing at 11 weeks. I had to get a d&c and I'm currently recovering from that. I am so disheartened and confused because I keep reading that once the heart beats, the risks are so minimal... but apparently I'm one of those statistics. We're having a hard time accepting it, just hurts so bad to have lost again.

3. GTKY: What was the most helpful thing someone said or did after your loss, or what have you done that was the most comforting/healing? I have my last ultra sound picture, I know the baby had passed already, but putting an image to my baby gives me some comfort in the grieving. It wasn't a blob, it was a beautiful baby with nubby arms and tiny legs. Friends and family have brought over food, which is nice to not worry about cooking right now. I'm just emotionally hurting right now. Looking for answers, but I don't have any.

jkcaviness

1. My name is Katie and I was pregnant for the first time last year and due March 15th, 2015. On thanksgiving night I begin having intense back pain and realized it was spaced out 10 min apart. I was out of town and had to go to a new hopsital where they had a good NICU. We were able to hold off labor until 2 days later when it was just to late to wait any longer. My Elaina weighed 1 1/2 lbs and was born at 25 weeks. She lived for 5 days before passing away from major brain hemmoraging. I miss my baby every single day!

2. It has been 2 months since my last period. I am starting taking Medroxyprogesterone tonight for 10 days, and then having testing on day 3 of my period. Then I will begin Clomid and hopefully ovulate this cycle! We have been ttc for 9 months now.

3. My church family was so supportive and there for me through everything! Only a few of them got to meet my daughter but there were over 60 people at her graveside service. My sister in law has also been very kind and has sent me flowers multiple times just to remind me that she hasn't forgotten our baby, and that she knows I'm a mom even though others don't view me that way. It has meant more to me then she will ever know!

allishally13

2. Status: had my follow-up appt and was given the green light to start ttc after I get AF! So benched until then.

3. Gtky: this might sound really stupid, but my dh and I bought rock band 4, which we've wanted to get back into for years (it was our main hobby in college) and it has been a great stress reliever for me lately!

Plus all of the support from friends and family since I was open about everything from the beginning. I'm so grateful I announced early so that I wasn't alone during this immensely difficult time.

Newlywed_Amanda

1. Intro: I'm Amanda. I had a d&c sept 1 for a mmc at 10 weeks. u/s showed no fetus and sac measured 6 weeks.
2. Status: ttcal, cycle 1, 2dpo. (I don't temp but have always been able to pinpoint ovulation by changes in my cm.)
3. Gtky: I can't think of anything specific but had lots of emotional support from dh (who just held me through all of my breakdowns and crying) my sister who I went to immediately after hearing the news, and my mom and mil. Also hearing others share their losses has been helpful. My ob/gyn is amazing, he hugged me and reassured me it wasn't my fault and shared his own loss that his wife had.

crob5685

@allishally13 I too recently got back into Rock Band haha! Definitely a good distraction as silly as it is!