June 2015 Moms
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Holiday Plans

Has anyone begun to think about Thanksgiving or Christmas? If so:

What traditions have you and your family observed in the past? What changes will you make now that you have LO? How do you feel about long-distance travel and overnights?

What about gifts, Santa, etc?
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Re: Holiday Plans

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    I brought this up with DH last night. He has an enormous extended family, plus his parents and siblings (old nuclear family), plus my extended family -- all live in the same town. In the past, we ran around to 7 different gatherings between xmas eve and xmas day. I was firm with DH and told him that I will not do that with LO this year. I requested that we do something for our family (DH, LO, and I) xmas morning.

    It will be a big change for us. We will not be able to see everyone; some will feel left out. I think DH realized in a new way that LO and I are his family now. I am very excited to make new traditions for our family of three.

    Our extended families live 14 hours away. Christmas is always a huge expense (particularly because of the travel involved), which is why we are making a budget for it now.
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    I'd also like to add, tho, that I enjoy others enjoying the holidays. I acknowledge I'm a Grinch so I may be bleh about holidays, but if it bring you (hypothetical you's) joy, then I am joyful for you.
    Just don't expect me to ever even ever not complain about having to listen to holiday music, except on the TWO days its 'allowed' (Thanksgiving and Xmas). Frickin' holidays with their catchy ass jingles. Grrr. Argh. :-w
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    I love the holidays, and both DH and I have large families. We do his family for Easter and Christmas Eve, and my family for thanksgiving and Christmas Day.

    Christmas Eve is a big deal for Italians, so we do the seven fishes. Christmas Day we usually open gifts, drink a bunch, and play rummy 500 all day.

    We asked this year not to go big on gifts for our family, and just contribute to LOs Ameritrade fund.

    DH and I have our "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal" t shirts ready to go. We were going to get one for DD, but now my MIL wants to get her an outfit. Whatevs. If it makes her happy.

    I can't wait for this year! My niece will be almost a year, and DD will be 6 mo. So fun!!!
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    @mellymar -- Your posts always make me laugh!  Have you tried to have something published?  //  I wish we could do Christmas your way.  I love the holiday (the solstice -- the fact that the days begin to grow longer) and usually have a great time of Christmas myself, but it takes a whole lot of effort & money to make it happen so that everyone is satisfied in the end.

    Growing up, my older brother would sometimes complain about the gifts that "Santa" got him.  It would break my heart if my LO ever did that, especially considering we have so little to spend and that we rarely indulge on gifts (or clothes, or haircuts) for ourselves.  I have very mixed feelings about telling LO there is a Santa Claus.  I hope she is smart enough to figure it out at a young age (say age 5).
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    cait38ocait38o member
    edited October 2015
    OH NO! What happened to my username?!!! How did it change from caitlincunn???? I was logged out and logged back in..


    I'm not sure what the plans are for this year but I know it's going to be way different. Running around with our 5 yo DD was crazy enough, I'm Not doing it with a baby.in the past we go to my moms parents Xmas eve, dads parents Xmas. We also went to my fiancés dads parents at somepoint around Xmas (which I hated because they smoked in the house for like 50 years) so me and DD would always sit by the door with it opened. We were living in my parents garage apartment before May so we would wake up and do presents there then go to my fiancés parents later that morning. It has been crazy! And that's only Christmas!! This year not happening. We're in our own place with 2 kids And I'm not running around like a crazy chicken! Hah. If everyone wants to see us then they can come over after they call. Probably not going to go over well with all of them but it gets crazy.

    For thanksgiving the past 7 years together we've always kinda rotated. Last year we went to my family dinner and then fiancés family for dessert. Not as crazy as Christmas but I'm so over going to all these places!
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    caitlincunncaitlincunn member
    edited October 2015
    Testing.. Ok apparently I used my different email for the knot and the bump so it got all messed up.
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    Well... I haven't mentioned it before because there's a relatively high chance she could stumble across this board, but my sister had her first baby the day after I had my baby girl. For thanksgiving I'm flying to her place (without DH or my boys :( ) so the baby cousins can meet. I'm so excited!

    Christmas this year is breakfast (cinnamon rolls! Hoping to plan ahead and make the pioneer woman's this year) and stockings and presents at home, then a meal and presents with the in laws. We usually alternate thanksgiving/Christmas with my family/his family.
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    We are doing thanksgiving with dh's dad and his mom's over two days. We dont see my parents for thanksgiving which is really a shame because my side has much better cooks. ( my brother went to culinary school).
    Since I gave up thanksgiving, we go to my parents house every year for Christmas and rotate between his parents( one year his mom's the next his dad's). I believe his dad's side is this year. And we will do our own Christmas at our house.
    I asked dh about Santa cause I really don't want to do it, working at a school its hard to see the really good kiddos who don't get anything from santa when these brats get tons of presents. Also not sure about how I feel about someone else taking credit for presents I bought. He is undecided.
    There will be certain things that I am excited about for traditions, each year we get a new book and an ornanent so I think I want to pass that along to l/o.
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    Honestly, my family stresses me out, and I have long said with 2 kids we will not be traveling. It's a 9 hour car ride without kids. I'm not driving that long through the Midwest with littles. We've hit bad weather multiple times. I'm relieved not to have to deal with it.

    We put up decorations, the tree and lights Thanksgiving weekend. We will open gifts Christmas day. I started a rule this year for us and the grandparents: 4 gifts max. 1 thing they want, 1 thing they need, 1 thing to wear, 1 thing to read. If they send more gifts than that, it gets returned or donated. I hate all of the plastic crap that is in our house.

    DH and I both like baking cookies and I make lefsa. I really want to start an Advent calendar for DS, too. Last year, I had DS help pick out books and toys to donate to families in need. I also want this to become a tradition to help teach empathy and clean out some of the toys before the new ones arrive. I'm undecided on Santa; I don't really care and it sounds like a lot of work. We used to host a brandy old fashioned cocktail party before kids. I'd like to start that again.

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    Growing up, Thanksgiving was our family event of the year! We'd drive 10 hours to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for the week, and on Thanksgiving Day we would sometimes to to the Macy's Day Parade or sometimes sleep in. My grandmother would make one or two turkeys, and about 20 people and 6 dogs would show up. It was pure magic, and felt like a cheesy holiday special on TV.

    Then one year about 7 years ago, there was a dog fight, which caused a people fight, and it all dissolved. Now Thanksgiving is kind of heartbreaking for me because it just feels like something spoiled.

    I'm hoping for an awesome "baby's first Christmas" this year. We are in our hometown and my MIL and parents live here, and get along. I'm hoping my brother and his kids will come, and we can buy silly PJs and make a thing of it. That's usually not my style, but I'm craving some family magic and want to create that for LO.

    DH and I usually buy something for ourselves together, like a couch or new refrigerator, rather than individual gifts.

    PS, My family is a Christian-Jewish blend, so you will see me posting about both. We used to do Hannukah gifts...but DH would get too excited and give me four gifts at once, then I wouldn't have anything to open for a few nights! So now we just light the candles and save gifts for Christmas
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    JMott22 said:

    @ChardeeMacDennis, I made the pioneer woman's cinnamon rolls a week before LO came and froze most of them(the recipe made a lot) and have reheated them and they are DELISH! At Christmas we have a 'make it or bake it' tradition instead of purchasing gifts and this year they will be my gift.

    Oh, good idea! I can make them any time during the Christmas season with the kids then just bake them off on Christmas morning. Thanks!
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    Thanksgiving was always my favorite holiday! My mom always cooked and we had a ton of people come over. I loved it. It's been a tough one since she passed away, but my in laws have been great. They know it's important to me for Colin to have amazing Thanksgivings, so my MIL volunteered to cook, they've already invited my brother's family, and some of my husbands cousins. Hoping it'll be big, chaotic, and full of laughter!

    I'm not sure we're telling LO about Santa. He's too little to know this year anyway, but we'll do stocking stuffers and wrapped gifts. My mom told me about Santa really early (I was like 4) because I asked, but we still had "Santa" gifts that were left out unwrapped. Not sure if I'll do this or not. I'm hoping we can just hang home this Christmas in our PJs. We'll see. Last year we had my FIL, DH's step mom, half sister, and DH's step brothers over. No one offered to bring anything. One of his step brothers is engaged and his fiancée asked, "who's bringing the food." After my pregnant ass had been in the kitchen all morning, I wanted to punch her. I love Christmas decorations and music! I actually caught myself singing, "Deck the Halls" to LO yesterday. Haha. It's way too soon!

    @ChardeeMacDennis I may attempt to do the cinnamon rolls too! A student I taught 2 years ago made me some. They wake up early the Saturday before Christmas, make a bunch of them, and take them to the girls' teachers, the fire station, police station, and anyone else who touched their lives that year. Such a great idea. They were the pioneer woman's recipe and delicious!
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    You guys, I freaking LOVE the holidays!!

    But this year I'm so nervous cause my MIL "cashed in" a favor and asked us to spend Christmas with them. I am super close to my family and if we go to my MIL's, this will be the first holiday I'll spend away from my parents and I will literally cry (I'm very sensitive and emotional like that).

    I am secretly crossing my fingers that DH will have to work!!!!!!! (Not on Christmas but the days around it so we can't travel)

    I kind of wanna be like "nah bro, we're not going" cause baby's first Christmas but then that means they get Christmas next year when baby will be a year and a half and really cute opening presents. So torn!
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    I love the holidays and I get super excited about them. I started buying Christmas presents for DD in May. Not because she gets tons and tons of presents but because her birthday is 3 days after Christmas and I always have a special birthday party for her do it doesn't get lost in the hustle and bustle of Christmas. We used to always go to my parents for thanksgiving (5 min away) and my grandparents for Christmas (45 min away) but the year I was pregnant with DD and I wasn't supposed to be more than 30 mins away from the hospital and I was 2 weeks past due we decided to have it at my parents house and it's stayed that way since. My in laws don't celebrate holidays really (they say it's just another day) so we don't really see them on holidays, not like I'm complaining. I like holidays and I personally think they're more than just another day and I want my kids to be excited by them so I don't want someone who doesn't think they're special around them telling them there's nothing to celebrate. In being a nice daughter-in-law and a good parent to my children I do have my in laws over Christmas morning for brunch after we've all opened our gifts and before we go to my parents for dinner. Plus the holidays are the only time when I find it "acceptable" for it to be cold and there to be snow on the ground aka I don't complain bitterly about it. Can't wait for LO to experience the holidays this year! He already has the "my first Halloween" and "my first thanksgiving" bibs and as soon as the Christmas one comes out I'll be all over that haha
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    mishmardhionomishmardhiono member
    edited October 2015


    My friends brat children have complaints about gifts every year, I have always said if our LO ever complains about a gift all gifts will be returned. My husband is from an poor family who used to go without food so for our LO to whinge about having the wrong things is incredibly insulting and won't be tolerated. It makes my blood boil, the children who complain now get $5 donations made in their honour each year.

    I am starting a tradition of Christmas Eve she donates her current toys to the local charity and then Santa brings her new toys for her good deed. We will do this for her birthday and Islamic Christmas too. It may teach her good deeds bring good things and it stops my house getting cluttered with toys she won't play with!

    I'm so jealous of all of your winter Christmas ideas! On Christmas Day it's normally 40 degrees (104 Fahrenheit) and too hot for turkeys. We would normally do a seafood barbecue and salads :(
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    Islamic Christmas?

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    Love the donation idea @mishmardhiono
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    Islamic Christmas?


    It's not Christmas but it's the equivalent of Christmas in the Islamic calendar. It's called Eid where we gather with our friends & family and children receive lots of gifts and money
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    Islamic Christmas?

    It's not Christmas but it's the equivalent of Christmas in the Islamic calendar. It's called Eid where we gather with our friends & family and children receive lots of gifts and money
    That I've heard of....I've never heard it phrased like that, and the oxymoron of Islam and Christmas had me wondering a moment.  :)
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    Things will be different this year since we moved from 40 min from my mom's house to over 4 hours away. Also, my mom and DH do not get along, but that was true last year too. Holidays are not important to DH, so he doesn't mind, and in fact prefers, not to go to my mom's for Christmas. I personally love holidays though and want LO to grow up celebrating holidays fully and making lots of good memories.

    Thanksgiving we're not going back to my hometown, but I plan to cook a turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes. I've invited my brothers but I don't know if either of them can come. I might invite a friend or two if there's anyone who doesn't have other plans for Thanksgiving. If I'm cooking all that food, I want there to be more people around to eat it than just the three of us! But if it is just the three of us, I guess that will be ok too.

    We are going back to my hometown for Christmas. We're going to spend 3 nights in a hotel. We have to take our two cats since DH doesn't want to board them. The 23rd is my birthday so I plan to go out to dinner with my family and LO. I'm thinking the same restaurant where we ate for my last birthday, when I was pregnant with LO. My friend is a co-owner of the restaurant and it would be nice to see her there. The 24th we'll visit friends, probably. And on Christmas, I'll take LO to my mom's house for present opening festivities. My brothers, aunt, cousin and nephews will be there, so it will be a lot of fun for me and LO. DH will stay at the hotel or maybe go see my grandma, who avoids my mom's Christmas as well, since she thinks her two daughters are too materialistic and spend too much money (DH agrees and gets along great with my grandma). Family drama, sigh. I'm really looking forward to it though and hope it will go smoothly.


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    We do Thanksgiving lunch with the in laws and dinner with my family, I'm sure that will stay the same. Sometime that week we go to my biological father's family Thanksgiving, which we'll try to make work but DH can't ask off that much. We'll see.

    I have no idea about Christmas. I have a huge family and it's always a big ordeal, and DH hates it. I want to be able to have time jist for us in there somewhere, but we never have before. DH family Christmas eve, my family Christmas day, and my biodad family on my birthday (the 26th ).
    I'm thinking Santa brings a book and pajamas. I want him to have the excitement and 'wonder', but not expect a ton of stuff from a magic fat guy. I loved Santa. I still love Santa.
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    ksimo6 said:



    We do Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with the in laws. My new recent tradition is to drink enough on Christmas Day to tolerate mil. It's nice.

    This is brilliant! You have me truly laughing hahahaha
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    edited October 2015
    I live in Canada so we just had our thanksgiving this past weekend....it was crazy. Between 4 different parents and 4 different cities (both mine and hubby's parents are divorced) it was a little hectic. Luckily our DD is a good traveller, she loves the train and looking at everything moving as we pass by.

    As for Christmas, I haven't thought that far ahead yet. It's always a big deal in my family so I know pretty much everyone will be getting her gifts. I might get her some bigger toys, or some pajamas/sleepers or things she may need. But really I think she'll be Too young still for anything more than that. As far as Santa goes, my mom still tries to convince me that Santa is real so that's not something that's going to go over well if I try to tell her otherwise. My moms big thing is getting Pet Santa photos done with the dog, so that will be cute. But other than that my plans are still so up in the air.

    ETA word change...I realized after I posted that I said it was crazy twice in one sentence.
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    Thanksgiving just stick around here with DH family. Cough annoying SIL cough...... Ugh. Then Christmas I am stoked my family is coming to visit from Kansas. :)
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    Is it bad that I'm not buying my kiddo anything for Christmas? He's going to get stuff from my sister and he's a baby...... So I don't see the point lol
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    @klkonwi we will probably get LO a couple small toys/books and maybe a few clothing items, but I'm starting a college fund for him. I want some first Christmas pics, but I'm trying to be practical about it. I'm hoping some family members just give him money to add to the fund. I don't want him saddled with student loans like me or to not finish college like DH because he wants to avoid them.
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    klkonwi said:

    Is it bad that I'm not buying my kiddo anything for Christmas? He's going to get stuff from my sister and he's a baby...... So I don't see the point lol

    No way I'm buying this kid anything! He has everything he needs and then some. Every day is like Christmas for LO! And I know others will give him even more (which I'm VERY grateful for, but is truly unnecessary). I'm excited for LO to learn about family togetherness and the spirit of giving... But IMO, my 6 month old will not need anything, and will not remember anything. The savings will go to his education fund, like @KarasTwin said.
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    My in-laws love junk. Every year for Christmas we each get about 20 presents, each junkier than the last. Misprint clothes, random deals from Walmart and meijer that are the wrong size but were on sale, etc. I know they love us and they think this is the best way to show it, but it is the total opposite of DH and I's personality. We would prefer 1 nice present. Or we would be fine with no presents, we are adults, if we want something we save our money and go buy it! A significant amount of the stuff they get us is donated on the way home from their house. Sure, I can throw this stuff away for you.

    We have already started the conversation with them about what we think is appropriate to give a small child for Christmas. Hopefully they will listen. . .and maybe it will save them some money.
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    @hudson202 my sister has the same problem with her in laws. And the kicker is about 6 weeks before Christmas they "borrow" money from them, buy a bunch of junk, and never pay them back. They make terrible financial decisions and even ruined my BIL's credit temporarily by accepting a credit card offer in his name and didn't tell him. They found out when applying for a home loan. They think that because my BIL is a PT and my sister has a good job in hr that they're rich. They don't understand that they both have student loans. The crazy part is that his dad is retired from the air force and department of transportation so he gets 2 pensions and social security. His mom still works so they have a decent income, plus medicare and tricare. It makes no sense. Stop wasting money!
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    @KarasTwin wow, OK that's way worse!
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    hudson202 said:
    My in-laws love junk. Every year for Christmas we each get about 20 presents, each junkier than the last. Misprint clothes, random deals from Walmart and meijer that are the wrong size but were on sale, etc. I know they love us and they think this is the best way to show it, but it is the total opposite of DH and I's personality. We would prefer 1 nice present. Or we would be fine with no presents, we are adults, if we want something we save our money and go buy it! A significant amount of the stuff they get us is donated on the way home from their house. Sure, I can throw this stuff away for you. We have already started the conversation with them about what we think is appropriate to give a small child for Christmas. Hopefully they will listen. . .and maybe it will save them some money.
    The rule in our family is once there are kids, the adults stop getting presents.  Like, my nieces have children, so I just buy for the little ones now, and not my nieces.  Perhaps you can start that with your in-laws.  Stress too maybe like some other posters mentioned - something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read, and offer suggestions of what size lo needs, and offer to suggest a developmentally appropriate toy/book if they'd like.  Good luck!  (I have family like that too, lol)
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