first post maybe the last (just need help/closure)

Juliamay95 · October 2015

Not sure how much longer I'll keep the app but this is my attempt I guess to reach out to hopefully find some sort of peace of mind and closure this was my fourth pregnancy and it turned into my fourth miscarriage four days ago I don't know what's wrong with me and I feel like a failure. I'm young only twenty but mentally I feel so old and torn down. I see happy people and growing families all around my younger sister has a baby a beautifull one yr old and my older step sister has two baby girls and I just feel like I'll never have a family it hurting my fiance it's hurting our relationship because I feel like I've lost my ability to connect to anything anymore it's only been a few days but I feel like something just broke like the last string holding me together after so many losses . I don't have girl friends and dont have contact with my mom so I don't know where else to turn at this point. I just don't know what to do anymore .

redheadbride15 · October 2015

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! Pregnancy loss does not, by any means, make you a failure! Have you spoken to your doctor about this? They should be able to be extremely helpful in both getting you some psychologic support right now when you're feeling crummy, and also help try to understand why you've had losses and what can be done about that. Please call them asap, be honest with them about what's going on, and make an urgent appointment. Take care of yourself. You deserve it!

RNMegan0711 · October 2015

Many thoughts and prayers for you!

Squash0612 · October 2015

My Friend is 28 and he had her third miscarriage and is still trying to get pregnant. Miscarriages are more frequent then you think. You may feel like you're the only one this is happening to but your not. The good news is that you are very, very young and you have a lot of time to keep trying. It's not your fault. All these years we all have been trying to not get pregnant and now when we want to it takes a lot of work! I would speak to a specialist doctor and try to figure out what the cause is, if any. Sometimes there is no cause and you need to keep trying. You need to set a good example for your future baby and keep trying if this is what you really want. Your fiancé should be a support system for you since you are in this together. Also the stress doesn't help so make you should stop trying for some time, do activities that you enjoy to take the current stress off because stress won't help you. Be strong and don't stop trying.

RMR7779 · October 2015

I had a friend that felt like this and finally has her rainbow baby from IVF. Definitely find someone to talk to about how you are feeling! I'm so sorry

candicek15 · October 2015

Yes, please speak with people around you. You will be surprised at how many others have gone through this too. Many don't open up about it until you start. Doctors may be able to help figure out if there is something going on that can be treatable. And no one should suffer alone. Many of us with losses have been to therapy that was immensely helpful! Hoping you get your rainbow baby soon.

Juliamay95 · October 2015

Thank u for the advice I do have a follow up with a specialsit on the twentyfirst so we can 1.make sure everything has cleared out without issue and 2.hopefully begin to look into why I continue to have miscarriages and all within first or second month . My fingers are crossed hoping that this is something they can diagnose and fix. I've also been referred to a therapist /grief counselor to try and help me with the mental stress and breakdowns I've been having since the miscarriage

Meg0810 · October 2015

So sorry for your losses. Don't ever feel like you are alone in this. If there is no one in your life you can speak to always know that there are women on this board who can empathise with what you are going through. They will be here to lend an ear and offer support. Xxx

SharonB222 · October 2015

I lost 5 pgs; the more pgs I lost the more support I needed. By the time my 4th RE (3rd clinic) figured it out (took 8 yrs), my network of support was 100s of people and two therapists. Without that support I would have had to stop TTC which would have been ok also. I was ready to be done one way or another. You will get through this, you will make the choices available to you in your circumstances and you will find TTC will be over one day and you'll be ok... and you will thrive again.