TTC and I'm sad.

MrsChanceW

So my DH and I are TTC our first child. It hasn't happened yet and we have tried a lot. We have never been careful with birth control since we got married over two years ago and you thought we would have had an "accident" baby by now. I'm wondering if there is something really wrong with us although tests say we're fine. We have been purposely trying off and on to get pregnant for the past two years and then stopping when the emotional toll got too much for us. I'm having a really hard time lately. Lots of friends of mine are getting pregnant and I'm not yet. Is anyone else frustrated and bitter too and how do you get through this? I love my friends and I'm so happy they are having babies but I feel like crap.

yellingbanana

Frustrated? Yup. Bitter? Check. I changed my career to better fit our new baby, and it's been 18 months. And more than that many cycles. I've had so many friends making their announcement and a lot of them even have had their babies already. I started avoiding Facebook.
Also, I'm trying to enjoy our baby-free time while we do have it. Going out on a date together tomorrow night to just get out of the routine. Last weekend we partied a bit together and then spent the next day just relaxing and watching football:)
This board helps a lot. Unless you're experiencing this TTC trouble, a lot of people don't understand.
Hang in there, remember to always have a plan of action with your doctor. And make fun plans together!

clt2pwm11

I have also started avoiding FB. If I see one more pregnant girl post about how she "hates being pregnant," I'm going to drive over there and punch her in the face! HA! Not really, but it is so frustrating to watch on the sidelines. Yesterday at work I had the experience of sitting with some coworkers, one of which is pregnant. The conversation revolved around, you guessed it, her pregnancy. I wanted to run from the room! I tried to fake happy, but every little comment felt like a knife in my stomach.

And I 100% agree with yellingbanana about enjoying your baby free time right now. The hubs and I have been trying to take a lot of little trips since it will be harder to do that if/when we get pregnant.

riveridgional

Yes! Facebook is like Russian Roulette with my emotions. I deleted the app off my shortcut screens, so it takes an effort I don't usually take to check it now.

misshopeful1

@MrsChanceW welcome to the board. Have you seen an RE yet? Some tests and labs may be helpful for you and H.
TTC is rough but if there is a diagnosis for you and or spouse it can be easier to know and develop treatment.
To agree with the other PP I also hate to read mom's complaining about their bratty kids. Be grateful they have some! Or when women say we've been TTC for 3 months and it's taking so long. Really!?
Everywhere I look pregnant women are there and it's hard for me to see. I have to be happy at a distance.

WishingOnARainbow15

For sure bitter over here! It's difficult watching friends and family members effortlessly have baby number 1, 2 and so on. Am I happy for them? Of course! But it doesn't make it any easier.

Like other posters have mentioned, my husband and I have used this un-welcomed extra time as just the two of us to do things such as travel, and have spontaneous adventures together.

Just know your feelings are valid and understood and you are not alone!!

JamieL31210

Hey! I have a similar situation kind of, with a longer period of time. Ugh! Tell me about it! It seems everyone in my town is pregnant, literally there has to be something in the water because there are an unusual high number of pregnant women in my town. Plus two of my friends just found out they were pregnant, both with their second, and it's like I just want 1, I am super happy for them but I just want it to happen for us. All my tests came back normal too, I am just starting clomid because I do ovulate a LITTLE late... we'll see. I hope it happens for you and soon! Baby dust!

Soverthis

I feel ya. My emotions are a complete rollercoaster. I am mad, sad, bitter, jealous, happy for others, feel like a crazy person and at times I just shut down and feel nothing at all. I think all that is normal though. I read an article that likened infertility to grieving the loss of a loved one but the grief is continous. If thats not enough to make you a little wacky I dont know what is! I keep a journal where I allow myself to be an absolute crazy person if need be. It helps me get out the nutty frustrations so when I talk to my hubs, my sister or other close friends I have it together a bit more. I think it helps. I try to keep myself busy with projects. I try to remember all the things that are good in my life. Infertility sucks. Just know when you are feeling like a crazy person, when you realize how absolutely unfair life can be and when your heart is broken and you feel like you cannot do this anymore that you are not alone. Everyone's infertility is different but for me I tell myself that no matter what the end of my infertility journey will end with me as a parent. Whether it is biological, doner assisted or adopted I will be a parent. Until then the waiting sucks. Good luck to you.

gardeniagirlknits

Absolutely bitter. Jealous. Very angry. We just took a break so I could kick some cancer ass, and my emotional breakdowns usually had MUCH more to do with the infertility struggles we experienced up until the cancer diagnosis, than the actual cancer. It's crazy... But... Infertility was actually more Stressful than cancer in my case. So... Take care of yourself because what you are experiencing is lonely and terribly difficult.

Soverthis

infertility AND cancer?! Oh my goodness. What a double wammy. I can not even begin to understand hw you are dealing.  I hope you find yourself cancer free and pregnant as soon ass possible. 

Rebeccalmc

I completely understand! Im happy for friends and family but I can't help but think, when is it our turn? I had a complete breakdown when a friend accidentally got pregnant with her new at the time, bfs baby, that made me feel ten times worse about what kind of a person I am.

seagull217

It is so hard to describe to the average person who is not TTC the emotions you feel. Some days, for me, are much better than others. Some are a struggle to make it through, though, because it seems that everywhere I turn there are babies. Babies everywhere. Except in our wombs, of course. Keep your head up but also allow yourself time to feel bad. You can't bottle it up all the time! Thank goodness for forums like this to talk to others going through the same thing!

gardeniagirlknits

@Soverthis oh yes I just got the thumbs up to start trying again... Am I ovulating sometime around... Oh.... Now... Lol... But I want all the weird Meds out of my system before we give it a go. So we will start next month. Here's hoping.

ahende04

I just want to Thank you for posting! When I was first trying to conceive I joined some other forums and was horrified at the comments people would make. Your post is what inspired me to post my own because you all seem very supportive and I know NOBODY who has been through this or is going through it.

seagull217

I agree. I finally posted my story after seeing so much support in this TTC forum.

plumeria05

It seems like we found our little safe corner to talk, vent and rant. We're all experiencing frustration, depression and overwhelm. been TTC for 2 years for first child and have had two failed IVFS. I'm surrounded by pregnant women in my family. And yes I have a right to be jealous, pissed off and envious