When to tell?

little_bren

I have not had a miscarriage but I wouldn't want to un-tell everyone and have everyone I bump into ask about my no longer existing pregnancy. But I'm more of a private person. Last time, I told two close friends (texted a pic of the pee stick for opinions), DH and my parents. The rest I think we're told at 11 weeks after that OB that said everything was still
Good. Not sure when we'll announce this time but probably around the same time. I'm itching to tell more people and I'm clearly not the type that can keep it under wraps for 5 mos before anyone notices. :-)

hockeyfan42

With our first, we told our parents after the initial appointment at 8 weeks.  Everyone else found out at 14 weeks. This time, we've told a couple of very close friends. Waiting to tell my parents when they are in town for a visit over Halloween weekend. DH will call his parents then as well. Not sure if we'll bother with a post-1st tri Facebook announcement this time.  

Completely agree with what @CupcakesRamazing and other PPs have said. 

cjt121413

We told my parents, because I am super close to my mom and I would want their support if something were to go wrong.

We will tell DS after we see HB. He is 6 and very sensitive so we're being cautious about that.

I'm not quite sure when we'll tell everyone else. I like the idea of telling DH's family at Christmas, because that'd be so cute, but that's a long time to wait.

goldie987

As of right now just DH knows. I'll be telling my boss soon because I occasionally work with teratogenic materials and need her to know why I am incapable of doing certain things. Someone else I work with had a baby 1.5 years ago so it won't be hard to figure out a game plan.

Other than that, we're telling our parents and siblings over thanksgiving weekend when I'll be 10 weeks and hopefully have an ultrasound. We'll tell grandparents, aunts, uncles etc around Christmas since that's the end of the first trimester.

My mother suffered 4 MC (congenital anomaly that took awhile to diagnose) and my MIL suffered 2 so I know both of them will be supportive if something goes wrong which is why we're telling them at 10 weeks instead of 13.

queenklau

I bought the skeleton shirt!!! Will wear it this weekend to announce to my parents-can't wait!

BlackAndGold09

Last time we announced at 11w2d after the first appointment but told family when we found out at 8 weeks. This time everyone we talk to regularly knows, friends family and my small 3 person office. We will announce on fb on the 30th after our first appt. I've had a bug mouth this time and our secret isn't really a secret!

CourtJack

I don't even think the pee was dry on the stick before I had told my 5 closest friends. I'll share news with family at some point. Haven't planned out specifics but probably Xmas. As for your situation, tell whoever you want, whenever you want whatever you feel most comfortable with.

Edit: spelling = difficult.

Lilwatz

Last time we were going to wait until 12 weeks, but after we heard the heartbeat our OB told us that the chances of miscarriages stay steady once that happens, AND WE WERE SUPER EXCITED, so we announced on fb then.  This time will be the same.  Hopefully on Oct 22 we will hear the little heartbeat!!!!

Ultimately, it's up to you.  There's no wrong answer.  I always ask myself, if I had to give the bad news of a loss to this person, could I handle that?  If I could, I tell them.

alsbaldwin

Ha, we're waiting till around Christmas, so around 16-18 weeks. We waited until 13 or 14 weeks when I was pregnant with DS, and I'm happy we did- neither side of our family can keep a secret. 

ScoutPout

Tell people when you feel comfortable! I'm at 4 weeks and I've told a couple coworkers because I've had to blow them off for happy hour. I ordered some things off Etsy and plan to tell our families in person this weekend. Once that's done, I plan to just start telling anyone haha I am bursting with this news it would drive me nuts to keep it a secret for 12 weeks. I agree with the other posters, if I did miscarry I wouldn't want to suffer in silence. I'd want support and comfort from family and friends. It's all personal preference!!

lm45678

I told my parents, my sister and BIL, and my three closest girlfriends. I told them because of anything happens they're the support I would want and need.

I told the three women in my office- because they're nurses and I need them to know in case I get sick/take days off.

fltaylor88

I think we are going to tell my parents this weekend (it's my moms birthday), and DHs parents next weekend because we are going to the beach with them.  I am still really early so I am little concerned...but last time we didn't tell anyone, and it was more stressful than anything because we see our family all the time (ALL. THE. TIME...but ..not complaining ;-)  ) so we constantly felt like we were hiding something.  When it ended in a MC, I couldn't help but wonder if that added stress was the straw that broke the camels back. 

Our parents and siblings will be the only people we tell now. Not telling grandparents, coworkers, friends, etc. until 12 weeks at least.

vesper137

I'm 5w and this is my first! I'm bursting at the seems to tell all my closest people and family, but our first appointment isn't until November 5th...Idk how I'm going to keep it in that long
Seeing in laws and my parents next weekend, and it may just come out?!