Intro on a bad day... — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

Intro on a bad day...

Hello everyone, I'm Allie everyone calls me Leecie a 29 year old living in Las Vegas NV. I've recently been introduced to this website/forum by a dear friend and my PCP. My DH and I have a 23 month old baby girl who we do cherish, shortly after having her we got pregnant again. At 33 weeks our twin boys were born stillborn, doctors only told me it was because we didn't wait long enough and my body didn't have time to recoup after our first child. Something about my sodium and potassium levels not being high enough to support the pregnancy and their little hearts. (Honestly I still don't understand fully) I immediately went and got the IUD inserted as I cannot take hormonal BC. It migrated out on its own about a month ago. DH and I have been talking and he wants to TTC again but I'm so anxious and stressed. I don't think I could go through that loss again, and he doesn't seem to understand. When we had our daughter I was 137# and 5'7" tall. After the loss of our boys I was 148#, after the stress and depression I'm currently 213# I know I've let myself go and often spend the day crying and eating. I've finally decided I wanted to get healthy again, start exercising stop the junk food and spend more active time with our daughter. This is when he decides to want to try again. I'm afraid my health will be a factor again in losing another precious baby. I'm also afraid I won't be able to be active during pregnancy or I'll lose another baby. I don't know what to do and every time I try talking to DH about it he gives pacification responses and try's to reassure me. I get so angry because he isn't the one who has to go through the physical changes but then I get mad at myself because he too experiences the loss and I feel like I'm not being considerate of him. It's driving a wedge in our relationship because I'm afraid to try again. Thanks for letting me rant.

Married Since - 11.19.2012
Daughter Born - 10.16.2013
Angel Twin Boys - 07.03.2014
Baby #2 Due - 08.21.2016
Lilypie Maternity tickers

Re: Intro on a bad day...

  • I'm so sorry for your loss of your twins. This sounds so difficult. If you'd prefer to focus on getting healthy first, could you ask your doctor how your weight or health might impact your fertility? Maybe if the doctor can explain why getting healthy first is a good idea, you might be able to get your DH on board.
    me 30; DH 35
    TTC since May 2014.
    Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
    Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
    AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR. 
    RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
    Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Short LP (8 days).
    Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days 

    Summer 2016 LFAF awards: 

    Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards:

  • If it were me, I would try to get healthy first.  I think it would help you not only physically, but mentally.  And I would seek therapy during that time as well.  Hopefully when the time came to try again, you would feel more prepared.  But the decision is ultimately yours and your DH's, of course.

    Good luck to you!
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15  •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)

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  • Welcome! We are all so sorry you have to be here but it is an incredible place for support as we can all relate to what one another is going through even though all our situations are a little different. Regarding your situation, I agree with PP.
  • Welcome! I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with pp.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  I agree with PP, you need to be physically and mentally prepared to get pregnant again.  While only your doctor knows if physically it is ok for you to try again, it seems like emotionally you aren't ready yet (I could be wrong, but that's the sense that I got from your post).  I'm sorry that you are not getting the support you need from your husband.  Please find a counsellor or therapist to talk to if you don't have anyone else who can support you through this.
  • My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry. I agree that getting healthy and back in shape would be the best thing to do for all of you first. A counselor/therapist is also a great idea. I wish you the best.
    big hugs
    DD 6/2007
    DS 4/2009
    m/c 11/12/2010 ~ 7 wks
    m/c 7/4/2012 ~ 6 wks
    DD 12/2013
    mmc Baby Girl 7/12/2015 ~ 14 weeks  <3
    Twin girls! 8/26/2017

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