not really a usual poster but i do browse here everyday and all i ever see is bashing and tearing down one another on every post. it's pretty sad and discouraging. im not saying every post should be glitters and rainbows but come on ladies... does every post have to go down hill? what about the people who actually visit this post to get answers to this question?
not really a usual poster but i do browse here everyday and all i ever see is bashing and tearing down one another on every post. it's pretty sad and discouraging. im not saying every post should be glitters and rainbows but come on ladies... does every post have to go down hill? what about the people who actually visit this post to get answers to this question?
Edited for words
OP wants her baby to come early so she can have her birth month to herself. Many women here would give their left foot to have their babies bake longer to avoid NICU stays. What actual answer could someone be looking for here???
not really a usual poster but i do browse here everyday and all i ever see is bashing and tearing down one another on every post. it's pretty sad and discouraging. im not saying every post should be glitters and rainbows but come on ladies... does every post have to go down hill? what about the people who actually visit this post to get answers to this question?
Edited for words
I'm honestly too tired of this post to start explaining from the beginning. You obviously missed the fact that it didn't go down hill, it started from stupidity. The only way is up from there.
not really a usual poster but i do browse here everyday and all i ever see is bashing and tearing down one another on every post. it's pretty sad and discouraging. im not saying every post should be glitters and rainbows but come on ladies... does every post have to go down hill? what about the people who actually visit this post to get answers to this question?
The initial "question" became lost on most people who read this, the second the OP made a poorly worded joke. I'm sure that had the attempt at humor not been made, then the responses that followed would not be perceived as "bashing" and "tearing down". However seeing as there are quite a few ladies who have been struggling with severe and very scary preterm labor struggles, the humor was lost and not seen as very tasteful-- or done with tact. so yes a lot of people are going to react this way to a post that many felt was done in poor taste.
Regardless if that was OPs actual intent or not.
edited cause i apparently don't know how to get the quote box to work..
not really a usual poster but i do browse here everyday and all i ever see is bashing and tearing down one another on every post. it's pretty sad and discouraging. im not saying every post should be glitters and rainbows but come on ladies... does every post have to go down hill? what about the people who actually visit this post to get answers to this question?
Edited for words
Just no. We have so many actual contributing members with issues to deal with this bs. Please tell me how you have taken the time to give support and prayers for those having preterm labor issues, judging by this post I highly doubt you've spent any time hoping and wishing for best outcomes for their little fighters. I just can't with your nonsense.
As far as the answer to her "question", it had been covered a few times. But again, it's possible, but not scientifically true or proven, that birth of your second could be faster, both is gestational time and labor.
ive actually read all of the replies under this post. im not defending what she said, but if that's how she feels then so be it. what can we do about it? bash and belittle her? ok fine and what does that solve? she has that right, just how you guys have the right to feel strongly about the points youre making about the other ladies who have been having a hard time keepin babies cooking for as long as they can. i completely get that. but some of you just make it hard for anyone to even wanna ask a question on here (not using this one as an example for obvious reasons) because it's like you're just asking to get insulted or bashed.
ive actually read all of the replies under this post. im not defending what she said, but if that's how she feels then so be it. what can we do about it? bash and belittle her? ok fine and what does that solve? she has that right, just how you guys have the right to feel strongly about the points youre making about the other ladies who have been having a hard time keepin babies cooking for as long as they can. i completely get that. but some of you just make it hard for anyone to even wanna ask a question on here (not using this one as an example for obvious reasons) because it's like you're just asking to get insulted or bashed.
But you did use this one as as example. And as you said yourself, every community member can offer her opinion as she chooses. I'm having trouble understanding your point.
Me: 28, DH: 40 Married 9/28/13 DS born 11/12/15 EDD 8/13/18
not really a usual poster but i do browse here everyday and all i ever see is bashing and tearing down one another on every post. it's pretty sad and discouraging. im not saying every post should be glitters and rainbows but come on ladies... does every post have to go down hill? what about the people who actually visit this post to get answers to this question?
Edited for words
And you come out of lurking now to WK this? You browse here daily then you must note several of the ladies we have here dealing with preterm labor and several ladies who now have preemies. OPs post was not tactful and made even less so after it was edited to add a "lol." Most of the ladies here were jumping to other mamas' defenses, and rightly so. Also, if you don't wish for posts to go "down hill" maybe you should post more.
not really a usual poster but i do browse here everyday and all i ever see is bashing and tearing down one another on every post. it's pretty sad and discouraging. im not saying every post should be glitters and rainbows but come on ladies... does every post have to go down hill? what about the people who actually visit this post to get answers to this question?
Edited for words
And you come out of lurking now to WK this? You browse here daily then you must note several of the ladies we have here dealing with preterm labor and several ladies who now have preemies. OPs post was not tactful and made even less so after it was edited to add a "lol." Most of the ladies here were jumping to other mamas' defenses, and rightly so.
Also, if you don't wish for posts to go "down hill" maybe you should post more.
i came out of lurking because i just got tired of seeing the same trend on every post made and i will definitely be posting more. like i said i sympathize with all the ladies who have been going thru it with their little ones. i know my pregnancy has been far from a fairly tale. cant we just ignore posts that are considered "crass" or offensive etc and not even shine any light on it to give them the undeserved attention they're seeking?
its just a little frustrating to see every post turn into a bashing is all
Every post? Really? And where are your supportive and valuable contributions to this community?
lm not here to get into it with you. i have my opinion and you have yours so enjoy your night
When you come out of the woodwork and start telling everyone how rude they are, what you are doing is "getting into it" with the active members of the community. Just in case you were unaware of how your comments are coming across.
not really a usual poster but i do browse here everyday and all i ever see is bashing and tearing down one another on every post. it's pretty sad and discouraging. im not saying every post should be glitters and rainbows but come on ladies... does every post have to go down hill? what about the people who actually visit this post to get answers to this question?
Edited for words
And you come out of lurking now to WK this? You browse here daily then you must note several of the ladies we have here dealing with preterm labor and several ladies who now have preemies. OPs post was not tactful and made even less so after it was edited to add a "lol." Most of the ladies here were jumping to other mamas' defenses, and rightly so. Also, if you don't wish for posts to go "down hill" maybe you should post more.
i came out of lurking because i just got tired of seeing the same trend on every post made and i will definitely be posting more. like i said i sympathize with all the ladies who have been going thru it with their little ones. i know my pregnancy has been far from a fairly tale. cant we just ignore posts that are considered "crass" or offensive etc and not even shine any light on it to give them the undeserved attention they're seeking?
Can we ignore offensive posts by folks who don't contribute to the community? Let me ask, could you ignore someone who walks up to you while you're mid conversation with a group of friends and says something to offend one or all of your friends? Lately there are a lot of new members or lurkers posting in a community that has been together for around 7-8 months and have been sharing regularly with one another. Not all, but many of the aforementioned newer members are making offensive or inappropriate threads/remarks (such as this) and/or ignoring community etiquette/guidelines. I've come to care about the stories of many here and then you have someone who comes along and offends those ladies by making such selfish remark. Sorry, but giving someone a much needed dose of reality in a setting where many members are hurting is not bullying or bashing.
So like... Here goes another post that's going to get shut down because new or noncontributing members ask the dumbest things... Do you guys even go here?
"Full term" is actually anywhere between 37 weeks and 42 they come when they are ready!! And just cos it's your second or 3rd doesn't necessarily mean they will be born earlier I think faster can be a possibility tho As your body knows what it's doibg
"Full term" is actually anywhere between 37 weeks and 42 they come when they are ready!! And just cos it's your second or 3rd doesn't necessarily mean they will be born earlier I think faster can be a possibility tho As your body knows what it's doibg
Guess it's different all over the world!! In NZ 37 -42 is full term I have a friend who's baby was born at 24 weeks and is now 18months old it's amazing what they can do sorry that part has nothing to do with full term and that baby was probably extremely lucky!
Ps very interesting articles! You don't get to choose a c section here or an induction they will only ever do them if medically nessesary or in an emergency otherwise they're always done around 39 weeks I think and no inductions untill 40 + 10
I was told 37 weeks is considered full term, babies tend to be a lot healthier and not need any interventions at this time. Which is why it is "safe" to deliver at 37 weeks.
The myth is that the labor will get faster, in my case it was true. As far as when they came that's a no, had a friend deliver her first 3 1-2 weeks earlier and 4th was a week late.
The 37 week rule is an old one. 39 weeks is now considered full term. There's a huge difference between a 37 weeker and a 40 weeker.
See this is why chosing your words carefully is so important. OP could have asked her question tactfully, and she would have received helpful responses (some of which would have been teaching her how to use search function, but that's a moot point). However OP chose to be a spoiled child. What do we have on this board so far, 5 preemies and several other mums battling to keep their littles cooking for longer? OP could have redeemed herself somewhat by simply apologising. It wouldn't have made her words ok, but at least it would have given an indication that she understands that what she said was insensitive and crass. Whereas her subsequent behaviour has been that of a butthurt child who still thinks that other people are the problem, and that is why people are pissed. It's really not difficult to work out what behaviours are acceptable and what aren't, but internet anonymity often makes people reveal the arseholes they truly are.
ive actually read all of the replies under this post. im not defending what she said, but if that's how she feels then so be it. what can we do about it? bash and belittle her? ok fine and what does that solve? she has that right, just how you guys have the right to feel strongly about the points youre making about the other ladies who have been having a hard time keepin babies cooking for as long as they can. i completely get that. but some of you just make it hard for anyone to even wanna ask a question on here (not using this one as an example for obvious reasons) because it's like you're just asking to get insulted or bashed.
I actually post questions on here all the time and don't get bashed. I get good advice. So no, every thread does not lead to "insulting or bashing". It's called thinking before you post
If you want research, use google. If you want opinions, come here and ask a question. What the OP wanted was research, not opinions.
Opinions and comments from a forum are not yours to dictate and will go in whatever direction the majority of the community feel is appropriate. Deal with it like an adult who has some sense or deal with it like a spoiled child, the choice is yours. It's become incredibly frustrating to me to watch drive by people come to this forum and treat us like google then get pissy when we respond like human beings and not an impersonal search algorithm designed to produce the answers posters want to hear. I've spent a good amount of time on here offering support, advice (fwiw), and an occasional reality check. I know and care about many of the women on here. I've been with some of y'all since early days and followed the ups and downs of board regulars pregnancies. This is a community full of supportive, helpful, witty, sarcastic, intelligent women that I have come to respect.
. . . I think I had a point when I started that last paragraph but pregnancy brain has taken over and I don't remember it now. Anyways, love y'all. I'm so glad I've had a chance to get to know many of you during this time in our lives. You've made this pregnancy a lot less lonely and a lot funnier than it would have been without you. *hugs*
If there's something strange underneath the hood. Who you gonna call? Your Doctor. If there's something weird and it don't look good. Who you gonna call? Your Doctor. Immediately. If it's new, painful, and possibly pregnancy related get your ass off the internet and call your doctor. It's for your health and your child's.
Basically, I called the OP out for fishing and asked her what it was that she was apologizing for. I was offended by her post as I've have a rough go with this pregnancy. I don't think it's right to joke about having an early delivery. Ever.
I also don't think it's right for the admins to actually serve a warning to a regular contributor who was just asking the OP to own her shit and deliver a real apology, not just an "lol" attitude. Ive only ever reported one person and was "rejected" b/c the OP apparently wasn't offensive enough(even though there were clear TOU violations. I think the admins could use some restructuring.
At this point, I don't give 3 shits about The Bump. II love the regulars and wish you all well on the remainder of your pregnancy and intoMommyhood. I think the admins have no concept of thinking outside the box. It was obvious that this was a drive by post and the poster isn't active in the community. I think The Bump will be losing a lot of great users in the near future. Not that they care as they still have The Knot and The Nest. I have received so much love and support from the regulars and I will miss you all so much. I'm sure I'll get banned for this since the admins don't care about the regular contributors.
If I can, I will try to post pics of Maddie once she is here. Maybe I'll just use a Knottie8385758404 type screen name. Those folks don't seem to get any flack
ETA: did not edit for spelling or grammar as I'm not feeling it at the moment.
I don't think the OP had any intentions of inferring the baby would be coming before it was ready. While perhaps not the most tactful in her wording, and certainly not in her responses, I think there is a legitimate question if you read between the lines.
FWIW- I talked with a NICU nurse about this on Saturday, as I too would be 100% on board if baby decided to make her debut a few days early- and she quickly squashed my fantasies and said it's completely untrue.
Curious, what was the nurse telling you about baby coming a few days earlier? Meaning they could still have to stay in the NICU? My eldest came at 38.5 weeks and didn't have any issues but I'm worried about this little girl coming too early. My last pregnancy she came at 32 weeks and was in the NICU the whole time she was alive. And I agree with you, I think the OP is asking a legit question of if labor and delivery is faster but def a little crass in how she worded her question.. For me it was faster with my second so we'll see with my 3rd.
I was told 37 weeks is considered full term, babies tend to be a lot healthier and not need any interventions at this time. Which is why it is "safe" to deliver at 37 weeks.
The myth is that the labor will get faster, in my case it was true. As far as when they came that's a no, had a friend deliver her first 3 1-2 weeks earlier and 4th was a week late.
The 37 week rule is an old one. 39 weeks is now considered full term. There's a huge difference between a 37 weeker and a 40 weeker.
I appreciate that 39 weeks is now considered full term in the US, however, in many other countries (UK, Eire, NZ, Australia, Etc) 37 weeks is still considered full term.
To all the awesome ladies trying to keep your baby cooking longer, you are my hero's! To the mom's who already had their babies, you are stronger than super hero's! And if you were closer I'd totally share a piece of my spiced pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing that I just made! But not you OP, no cake for you.
Lol "no cake for you" love it. Absolutely love it..
I was told 37 weeks is considered full term, babies tend to be a lot healthier and not need any interventions at this time. Which is why it is "safe" to deliver at 37 weeks.
The myth is that the labor will get faster, in my case it was true. As far as when they came that's a no, had a friend deliver her first 3 1-2 weeks earlier and 4th was a week late.
The 37 week rule is an old one. 39 weeks is now considered full term. There's a huge difference between a 37 weeker and a 40 weeker.
in my state 37 is considered full term to be able to deliver outside a hospital. If your baby comes before 37 or after 42 midwives are no longer able to deliver your baby in a birthing center or home and will/can be prosecuted. My state also does not allow women who are carrying more then 1 to deliver outside a hospital.
And yes there can be a big difference between 37 & 40 wks, but I think that can be different with each baby. My nephew was born healthy between 8-9#s in his 37th week. Just as there are babies born at 41wks and 5#s.
I was told 37 weeks is considered full term, babies tend to be a lot healthier and not need any interventions at this time. Which is why it is "safe" to deliver at 37 weeks.
The myth is that the labor will get faster, in my case it was true. As far as when they came that's a no, had a friend deliver her first 3 1-2 weeks earlier and 4th was a week late.
The 37 week rule is an old one. 39 weeks is now considered full term. There's a huge difference between a 37 weeker and a 40 weeker.
in my state 37 is considered full term to be able to deliver outside a hospital. If your baby comes before 37 or after 42 midwives are no longer able to deliver your baby in a birthing center or home and will/can be prosecuted. My state also does not allow a women who are carrying more then 1 to deliver outside a hospital.
And yes there can be a big difference between 37 & 40 wks, but I think that can be different with each baby. My nephew was born healthy between 8-9#s in his 37th week. Just as there are babies born at 41wks and 5#s.
See here in Canada unless recently changed, full term is 37 weeks. Well my doctor office is anyhow. but I agree that it depends on the baby. My first DS was 8lbs at 37weeks where DS2 was born 39 weeks and was 6lbs. Like it has been stated on here many hundreds of times I'm sure, every pregnancy is different so comparing yourself to others can be rather pointless, just saying.
I don't think the OP had any intentions of inferring the baby would be coming before it was ready. While perhaps not the most tactful in her wording, and certainly not in her responses, I think there is a legitimate question if you read between the lines.
FWIW- I talked with a NICU nurse about this on Saturday, as I too would be 100% on board if baby decided to make her debut a few days early- and she quickly squashed my fantasies and said it's completely untrue.
Curious, what was the nurse telling you about baby coming a few days earlier? Meaning they could still have to stay in the NICU? My eldest came at 38.5 weeks and didn't have any issues but I'm worried about this little girl coming too early. My last pregnancy she came at 32 weeks and was in the NICU the whole time she was alive. And I agree with you, I think the OP is asking a legit question of if labor and delivery is faster but def a little crass in how she worded her question.. For me it was faster with my second so we'll see with my 3rd.
She didn't say anything about having to stay in the NICU for a few days early (unless there was other medical complciations going on). She is the wife of a co-worker and we happened to be at a social function, so it was a casual conversation. In fact (we were on a different topic later on) she said, barring other complications, as long as baby is born at 35+0 or more, and meets "weight" (I didn't ask what the threshold was) they wouldn't have to spend any time in the NICU.... obviously this is going to vary from patient to patient and hospital to hospital.
Back to the original point though- she said every woman and every pregnancy is different. She had four herself and her last was her longest pregnancy, but shortest labor. They were all born between 35+5 and 37+3 (no NICU for any of them). She pretty much squashed the same rumors OP is referring to- that the 2nd+ babies come sooner and faster. It's different for everyone and every pregnancy.
I think the original question was do second babies come quicker??? UMM no. They come when the are ready. My second took way longer because of scar tissue on my cervix from my first. You never know what is going to happen.
This one is due two days before Thanksgiving. I haven't even given a thought to how we will celebrate his birthday or the Holiday so close because I am more focused on getting him her HEALTHY!! His birthday will be whenever he gets here, not a day sooner. If he shows up Thanksgiving day, one more amazing thing to be thankful for. Not to be snarky, but I am a mom and my kids needs come first.
To all you ladies trying to hang on - praying for you and your babies!! Hang in there mamas!!
Sorry if this is a bit ranty..... I get a bit emotional about moms who try to rush things for their own wants/needs. GROW UP!! I clearly need a nap.
Re: How true is it ??
Edit- misspelling and added a word
Married 9/28/13
DS born 11/12/15
EDD 8/13/18
And you come out of lurking now to WK this? You browse here daily then you must note several of the ladies we have here dealing with preterm labor and several ladies who now have preemies. OPs post was not tactful and made even less so after it was edited to add a "lol." Most of the ladies here were jumping to other mamas' defenses, and rightly so.
Also, if you don't wish for posts to go "down hill" maybe you should post more.
When you come out of the woodwork and start telling everyone how rude they are, what you are doing is "getting into it" with the active members of the community. Just in case you were unaware of how your comments are coming across.
Can we ignore offensive posts by folks who don't contribute to the community? Let me ask, could you ignore someone who walks up to you while you're mid conversation with a group of friends and says something to offend one or all of your friends? Lately there are a lot of new members or lurkers posting in a community that has been together for around 7-8 months and have been sharing regularly with one another. Not all, but many of the aforementioned newer members are making offensive or inappropriate threads/remarks (such as this) and/or ignoring community etiquette/guidelines. I've come to care about the stories of many here and then you have someone who comes along and offends those ladies by making such selfish remark. Sorry, but giving someone a much needed dose of reality in a setting where many members are hurting is not bullying or bashing.
I wish a full 42 weeks of pregnancy on you so that precious little baby can cook as long as possible
https://www.futurity.org/babies-born-37-38-weeks-still-immature/
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2473164/Full-term-birth-redefined-US-prevent-health-problems.html
Opinions and comments from a forum are not yours to dictate and will go in whatever direction the majority of the community feel is appropriate. Deal with it like an adult who has some sense or deal with it like a spoiled child, the choice is yours. It's become incredibly frustrating to me to watch drive by people come to this forum and treat us like google then get pissy when we respond like human beings and not an impersonal search algorithm designed to produce the answers posters want to hear. I've spent a good amount of time on here offering support, advice (fwiw), and an occasional reality check. I know and care about many of the women on here. I've been with some of y'all since early days and followed the ups and downs of board regulars pregnancies. This is a community full of supportive, helpful, witty, sarcastic, intelligent women that I have come to respect.
. . . I think I had a point when I started that last paragraph but pregnancy brain has taken over and I don't remember it now. Anyways, love y'all. I'm so glad I've had a chance to get to know many of you during this time in our lives. You've made this pregnancy a lot less lonely and a lot funnier than it would have been without you. *hugs*
I also don't think it's right for the admins to actually serve a warning to a regular contributor who was just asking the OP to own her shit and deliver a real apology, not just an "lol" attitude. Ive only ever reported one person and was "rejected" b/c the OP apparently wasn't offensive enough(even though there were clear TOU violations. I think the admins could use some restructuring.
At this point, I don't give 3 shits about The Bump. II love the regulars and wish you all well on the remainder of your pregnancy and intoMommyhood. I think the admins have no concept of thinking outside the box. It was obvious that this was a drive by post and the poster isn't active in the community. I think The Bump will be losing a lot of great users in the near future. Not that they care as they still have The Knot and The Nest. I have received so much love and support from the regulars and I will miss you all so much. I'm sure I'll get banned for this since the admins don't care about the regular contributors.
If I can, I will try to post pics of Maddie once she is here. Maybe I'll just use a Knottie8385758404 type screen name. Those folks don't seem to get any flack
ETA: did not edit for spelling or grammar as I'm not feeling it at the moment.
And yes there can be a big difference between 37 & 40 wks, but I think that can be different with each baby. My nephew was born healthy between 8-9#s in his 37th week. Just as there are babies born at 41wks and 5#s.
I think the original question was do second babies come quicker??? UMM no. They come when the are ready. My second took way longer because of scar tissue on my cervix from my first. You never know what is going to happen.
This one is due two days before Thanksgiving. I haven't even given a thought to how we will celebrate his birthday or the Holiday so close because I am more focused on getting him her HEALTHY!! His birthday will be whenever he gets here, not a day sooner. If he shows up Thanksgiving day, one more amazing thing to be thankful for. Not to be snarky, but I am a mom and my kids needs come first.
To all you ladies trying to hang on - praying for you and your babies!! Hang in there mamas!!
Sorry if this is a bit ranty..... I get a bit emotional about moms who try to rush things for their own wants/needs. GROW UP!! I clearly need a nap.