Naming advice from Christian mama's?

babymackey

okay, so, I know we are a long way from needing a name and we don't even have the sex yet, BUT, my SO and I have a really extremely tough time agreeing on names. However, there is one name that we have both always loved for a boy and that is 'Cain.' We are both devout non denominational Christians who plan to raise our children with such standards and we are fully aware of the biblical meanin behind Cain which is the sole reason why we struggle with it. I have gone back and fourth thinking: but there are so many Adam's in this world and Adam was a sinner!! Or: it's just a name, it can't define his character!! But then I have moment where I'm feeling like if he led a bad life or something terrible ever happened, I would always wonder and never forgive myself for "cursing" my son and setting the tone for his life with the name of a sinner. My SO believes that a name is just a name and our son will be who he is based on the genes we gave him and the way we raise him and that naming him Cain will not effect him negatively in any way other than maybe an occasional run in with a judgemental person. I, however, go back and fourth.

Thoughts on this?

vinerie

If the bible is very important to you in your everyday life, it's curious that you would choose a name that is synonymous with evil in that particular book. 

NY2PA2

What if you changed the spelling? It might change people's perception of it. Like "Kane" or something.

finnybooboo

I agree that a name is just a name. However, you have to accept that for Christians the name has a negative connotation. Same with the name Judas. If you're comfortable with the name choice and can separate it from the biblical story then go for it!

babymackey

NY2PA2 said:

What if you changed the spelling? It might change people's perception of it. Like "Kane" or something.

We consider changing the spelling often. We have thought about Kane, Kain, and Caine, and they are all still in the running for us but aesthetically we don't love the way any of the alternate spellings look!! But we aren't entirely shutting that idea down.

finnybooboo

Kane reminds me of the uber popular morning radio "Kane show" in the MD/DC/VA area.

laurenmdrn16

You can make an argument that all names could represent a sinner, but it is like the name Damien or Lucifer. I think if you are ok with it, people won't automatically make the association, but it is out there. I am German and Adolf is a family name (believe it). But I would not consider it for my child. Not because it sounds bad or I am afraid my son would become evil because of it. But because to me I could never hear the name without making the association. If it doesn't bother you or the sound of the name surpasses the association, go for it.

Latina211508

I personally did not automatically think of a bad association.I think a name is just that, a name. You might get some side eyes from people and you might not. But what matters is that your husband and yourself love the name.

mrstmoose

I think you need to name your child whatever you want. However, please think hard about the spelling of a child's name; they have to deal with it for the rest of their lives.

asunna

vinerie said:

If the bible is very important to you in your everyday life, it's curious that you would choose a name that is synonymous with evil in that particular book. 

haha well said

OP i would say name your child what you want , if you like the name Cain, like it and use it if you wish...if anyone questions you it really isnt any of their business...

lalala2004

I wouldn't do it, personally. I know someone named Cain, and thought it was weird at first, but kind of got used to it.

I just can't see naming my kid after the first murderer. I don't think it's a cursed name or anything, though.

Charla1224

I don't think the name is cursed and if you'd like to name your child that I say go for it. 

Would I name my child Cain? No. 

I don't think I'd feel comfortable giving my child any name that had a strong connection with Biblical, pop, or American culture. I wouldn't want the history of their name to overshadow or be a weight of expectation for them. So, not only would I never name child Cain, Adolf, or Osama.... I'd also never consider naming my child Obama, Oprah, or Beyonce. 

Bookhousegirl

I don't think a name can 'curse' a child, but it doesn't change the connotation that you or others have to it. I thinks it's more a question of whether or not you're ok with people making that association. If you don't care then go for it. If you are going to constantly feel like you have to defend it, then I would consider other options.

Edit to add: I was raised Catholic but am not practicing anything right now so I probably don't fully get the weight of the name to those who are devout. 

wassuphoes

I would find it super weird for a self described devout christian family to name their first son after the worlds first murderer.

Like, obviously it wouldn't curse him or anything, but I'd feel realllll bad for any younger sons you had too.

vinerie

wassuphoes said:

I would find it super weird for a self described devout christian family to name their first son after the worlds first murderer.

Like, obviously it wouldn't curse him or anything, but I'd feel realllll bad for any younger sons you had too.

I'm sorry, but that made me snicker...

BabyBliss2012

If you have any doubts, I would say maybe this isn't the perfect name. You don't want to regret it later in life or always think of what others are thinking. That's just my opinion.

TheThornBird

I actually LOVE the name Cain and might steal it from you

That being said, while I definitely enjoy reading the Bible and my relationship with God, I'm definitely not your typical Christian (and I wouldn't even call myself Christian, tbh).

I also love names with an edge to them. We've been considering Biblical names, and I definitely lean towards ones that are a little more.....wicked?

I say if you like it, go for it.

E&B0811

If your issue is that Cain was a sinner then all names are out. We are all sinners.

LemmyRN

Raise a little Cain

kbru88

How about Canaan (land promised to Abraham) and use the nickname Can (Cain)? The name Cain, itself means acquired.

somethingbluetoo

Well if you're looking for an honest opinion... I would pass on the name. Pretty much every Christian and even non Christians are familiar with the story and the first thing they will think of when they hear the name will be "Wasn't it Cain that killed Abel? Interesting that they would choose that name over others". You must reallllly have to like that name if you would like to use it I would rather have someone think about how cute my baby is rather than talking about a murder long ago... If it didn't have a story behind it Cain is a nice name. 

zekesmommy611

I would say if you're already questioning the name, it's probably not a name you should stick with.

Bluejay3030

kbru88 said:

How about Canaan (land promised to Abraham) and use the nickname Can (Cain)? The name Cain, itself means acquired.

This is a clever suggestion, I think. You still get the sound of the name, but suddenly a completely different meaning!

linzandjer11

I have to say, i'm always amazed at people who actually stick to the names they picked out in the first trimester. We didn't find the perfect name for our LO until a month before he came! Your taste in names might change...

Since Cain is bringing up some doubts, I'd say keep an open mind! Something else might pop up that you both like even better (and won't be connected to the first murderer)

doozer1345

Umm I'm non-Denominational and was always taught we are all sinners??

Meeshy3010

You could look at it in a more positive way. Even though Cain sinned and murdered, God still was faithful to him and protected him wih the mark. So it could be a reminder that even though we are sinners, God still cares for us. Just don't name your next child Abel ; )

lisaren

My boyfriends name is Abel and is constantly asking if he had a brother named Cain.
I would name your baby what you like but be prepared for any side eyes

lalala2004

Meeshy3010 said:

You could look at it in a more positive way. Even though Cain sinned and murdered, God still was faithful to him and protected him wih the mark. So it could be a reminder that even though we are sinners, God still cares for us. Just don't name your next child Abel ; )

You're interpreting that story differently than I do.... I thought God marked him so that he couldn't get someone to kill him and put him out of his misery.

camillaandcarson

zekesmommy611 said:

I would say if you're already questioning the name, it's probably not a name you should stick with.

This a thousand times.

dshannah

You could go with Seth, the third son of Adam and Eve.

Also, if you like the way Cain sounds, how about Keane?

babymackey

doozer1345 said:

Umm I'm non-Denominational and was always taught we are all sinners??

I totally agree!! We absolutely are all sinners no question, that's not the issue here. The concern wasn't because he sinned, it was because he was the first murderer and murdered his brother Abel. We weren't sure it was a smart move to name our son Cain, knowing the history ha!! But we love how it sounds and looks- strong, edgy, maybe a little southern? We're feeling more and more like it's just a name and if we love it than it doesn't matter what other Cain's have been.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed

babymackey said:

okay, so, I know we are a long way from needing a name and we don't even have the sex yet, BUT, my SO and I have a really extremely tough time agreeing on names. However, there is one name that we have both always loved for a boy and that is 'Cain.' We are both devout non denominational Christians who plan to raise our children with such standards and we are fully aware of the biblical meanin behind Cain which is the sole reason why we struggle with it. I have gone back and fourth thinking: but there are so many Adam's in this world and Adam was a sinner!! Or: it's just a name, it can't define his character!! But then I have moment where I'm feeling like if he led a bad life or something terrible ever happened, I would always wonder and never forgive myself for "cursing" my son and setting the tone for his life with the name of a sinner. My SO believes that a name is just a name and our son will be who he is based on the genes we gave him and the way we raise him and that naming him Cain will not effect him negatively in any way other than maybe an occasional run in with a judgemental person. I, however, go back and fourth. Thoughts on this?

I mean, everyone is a sinner. If your criteria for a name is that it's not the name of a sinner, you can really only go with Jesus, you know.  The issue with Cain is that he's the first murderer in the Bible. And there is the whole "mark of Cain" thing.  I think if you use that spelling especially, people will make the association, even people who aren't religious (BTW, you do know Cain/the Old Testament are part of the Jewish and Muslim faiths right, it will have implications to a wider group of people).  

Unfortunately, there is a burden of stigma to that name, just like if you were drawn to Judas or Adolph.Since you're already questioning it, maybe you should find a stronger name from the Bible that you like.

ETA: Lurker, sorry

McMasterB

I think your right on thinking that, i am a Christian also and so i know the fear. But there are other great boy names like Isaiah, James, Corban, or Titus to name a few:) hope this encourages you! God bless♡

JessicaB0627

I think it would be less weird if you weren't religious. I do think that you would get really annoyed with all of the questions about his name, and he would be annoyed later in life.

DD is Amelia and even though it's not bad in any way I get annoyed when people say, "Oh, like Amelia Earhart?" You want your child to be their own person and not be "named after someone". Of course that's my opinion.

aamm04

Canaan is on our list. I personally think a name is a name. I'm also not religious at all and don't correlate the two.

doozer1345

babymackey said:

Umm I'm non-Denominational and was always taught we are all sinners??

I totally agree!! We absolutely are all sinners no question, that's not the issue here. The concern wasn't because he sinned, it was because he was the first murderer and murdered his brother Abel. We weren't sure it was a smart move to name our son Cain, knowing the history ha!! But we love how it sounds and looks- strong, edgy, maybe a little southern? We're feeling more and more like it's just a name and if we love it than it doesn't matter what other Cain's have been.

You could make the first GOOD Cain I have to admit I thought of it too but DH hates it.

Nunuu

Cain is already a different spelling because in Hebrew his name was Qayin (actually without vowels because no vowels were used traditionally) so Cain is the English re rendering. It's also a pun linguistically (as most biblical names were) and is derived from metalsmith, which alludes to his work as a farmer.

Also:

That aside, I am not Christian, but I am a person of faith , and I cannot get around the whole "he committed the first sin on earth" thing. But most of the Old Testament is ignored anyways, so if you're in love with the name, go for it

Also:

aamm04 said:

(BTW, you do know Cain/the Old Testament are part of the Jewish and Muslim faiths right, it will have implications to a wider group

Technically the Old Testament is not a part of either faith. Some stories have the same characters but the stories are pretty different and they all have separate books. People of the Jewish faith have the Torah, Muslims have the Quran. And like I mentioned earlier, Jews would know it by a different spelling and in the Quran neither of the brothers are mentioned by name.

dcheard

Talk to God about it! And PRAY!!!

lalala2004

Nunuu said:

Cain is already a different spelling because in Hebrew his name was Qayin (actually without vowels because no vowels were used traditionally) so Cain is the English re rendering. It's also a pun linguistically (as most biblical names were) and is derived from metalsmith, which alludes to his work as a farmer.

Also:

That aside, I am not Christian, but I am a person of faith , and I cannot get around the whole "he committed the first sin on earth" thing. But most of the Old Testament is ignored anyways, so if you're in love with the name, go for it

Also:

aamm04 said:

(BTW, you do know Cain/the Old Testament are part of the Jewish and Muslim faiths right, it will have implications to a wider group

Technically the Old Testament is not a part of either faith. Some stories have the same characters but the stories are pretty different and they all have separate books. People of the Jewish faith have the Torah, Muslims have the Quran. And like I mentioned earlier, Jews would know it by a different spelling and in the Quran neither of the brothers are mentioned by name.

The Torah is the first 5 books of the Old Testament, so they are the same, just in the original Hebrew.

Nunuu

@lalala2004 they have the same titles, sure, but the words and stories are very different

dshannah

@Nunuu and @lalala2004

The masoretic text (MT) is the official Hebrew text for both the Torah and the first five books of the Christian Old Testament (in most Christian denominations).

So it'd be the same.

The Muslim stories are rather different, and if I'm correct, not actually canon? Like, the Quran uses the stories, but does not retell them, and the stories themselves are not recorded in a text that is marked as sacred. Like the Quran just treats it as given that Ishmael was (almost) sacrificed, not Isaac, and that Jesus spoke from his crib, but there's no authoritative text that retells those stories.