STMs Delivering in hospitals: where will DD/DS stay? — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

STMs Delivering in hospitals: where will DD/DS stay?

Where will DD/DS stay while you're in the hospital during/after delivery? I don't believe that my hospital will allow DD to stay in the room with us, and I'm sure that she would get cabin fever, anyway. My MIL lives nearby, but honestly I don't feel comfortable leaving DD with her, especially overnight, should DH choose to stay in the hospital room with me. She's not exactly what I'd call a responsible, knowledgable adult. Not to mention, I honestly don't relish the idea of leaving DD at any point, anyway. I practice many aspects of attachment parenting, and I'm... Well, I'm attached.

So, what will you be doing with LO's older siblings while you're out of the home? If you're a TTM, what did you do last time, and did you have any problem letting your DD/DS go? What helped to ease the separation? Many thanks.

Re: STMs Delivering in hospitals: where will DD/DS stay?

  • This will be my third and the previous time I let my daughter stay with my parents. She's really comfortable with them and I had no worries with her there. They came to visit after the birth and brought her with to meet her brother so we spent some time together. I was only there for a couple days so it didn't feel like a long time. Looking back it was such a whirl wind and it was a nice moment for us just with the new LO. I called my DD before she went to bed at night just to check in with her and see how her day was and tell her I loved her. I also made sure she brought her favorite bedtime things and toys to make her feel at home while at the grandparents. I plan on the same situation for DD and DS this time around. 
  • My best friend happens to live across the street from us and she will be "on call" in January for when I go into labor. She will stay with DS until my parents are able to get here - they live a little over an hour away. While I'm in the hospital my parents and in-laws will all stay at my house along with DS, but my mom will be the one kind of in charge of DS. She already has a car seat that she can put in her car for him and she knows his normal schedule really well. He will still go to daycare, but she will be the one to drop him off/pick him up. Separation anxiety isn't really an issue for us as we've already had him stay with my parents a few times before for 2-3 days at a time. There will always be some worries whenever you're away from your kids but if you really trust whoever they are with that makes it a lot easier.
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  • My husband will be staying at home with our daughter. Really there isnt much for him to do at the hospital he ended up leaving with our first cuz he couldnt fall asleep. The first night she will prb stay with my mom just so my husband can stay later with us
  • My in laws live 20 minutes from us so they'll come and stay at our house with DD. DH may end up not staying at the hospital, which I'm fine with since they keep checking on me overnight.
    We've left DD many times over the last few years with both sets of our parents so she's comfortable with both of them.
    BFP #1: 9/26/10 DD: 5/2011
    BFP #2: 7/23/14 - MC: 8/28/14
    BFP #3: 2/22/15 - MC: 3/3/15
    BFP #4: 5/20/15 - Stick baby stick!!!
  • This is my third. Last time I went into labor the morning I was scheduled to be induced so my parents were already in town and DS stayed with them at our house. My sister is about 30 minutes away so she is our person on call :) But if I have some idea about when this baby will be here like I did last time, my parents will be in town to watch the kids again.

    My labor with DD was only 7 hours from 1st contraction to delivery and they say they subsequent labors are quicker (I labored over 24 hours with DS) so I am a bit worried things will go fast! I have a friend down the street that has agreed to come over for a bit until my sister arrived if we need her to.
  • I have no freaking clue what to do this time. DD will be 5, and she is asking if she can be at the hospital with me. Depending on the timing and circumstances, I may allow it but obvs wont have her there in the room during actual delivery. DH may stay with her at home and my mom be with me, or vice versa. I'm kind of winging it. If all else fails, we have friends and other family she can stay with for a short time. But I would rather have DH be with her at home, than staying with me at the hospital after giving birth if it is simply to keep me company.


  • My DS will stay with my in laws while we are in the hospital. He already stays over there once a week. If MIL is the only person you have nearby and you want your DH to be with you at the hospital, I would suggest having a few trial sleepovers before the big one. It'll help set some boundaries and expectations and won't be such a big shock for you and your DD.

  • Since we will be having a repeat section my mom, who lives an hour away, will come out first thing that morning to get older kids to school and stay home with the younger ones. Hubby will be at the hospital with me through section and recovery. Once we are settled in our room with baby and I am feeling up for visitors he will call my mom and she will bring all the kids for some visiting. At that point she will go back home and he will go to our home to continue our normal routine. I already have play dates set up for the first few days while I am in the hospital so that hubby can come and spend some time with me and baby until I come home. His parents, who are coming from another state, want to come out the day I have the baby. They have done so in the past and it was a complete fiasco. If husband is up for it they can come out the day after I have baby. But it is usually better if they come once I am home from the hospital so I can continue to maintain order. Having kids, plus inlaws, plus a frazzled husband, and a newborn all in the hospital at once is not something I want to relive.
  • My mom is coming to stay with us for a little while so she will be able to stay home with DS. DS is also 2 so he really won't be able to handle the hospital. Hubs will have to go back to work after I get home from the hospital but mom will stay till doc clears me to drive and DS will continue going to daycare. 
  • This is my third. For my second DS stayed with IL's first night, my parents the second night and then IL's the third night. It worked out nice because we had the exchange at the hospital so we would get about two hours with DS and each set of parents got to see the baby a lot and they didn't have him 3 whole days, we thought that might be to much to ask. This time we are doing the same thing, except my cousin might have them one night as well.
    Married 2006
    DS1 2010
    DS2 2013
    DD1 2016
  • edited September 2015
    When I delivered the twins, DS1 stayed with my in-laws the first and third nights, and was home with DH the second night. We'd planned on DH staying home the third night as well, but I had a really unhelpful night nurse on the second night and called DH back in for extra support.

    Me: I'm on my own tonight-- wish me luck!
    Her: You should send them to the nursery.
    Her: Bye, then!

    ETA: I only stayed one night when DS1 was born, and hoping for a VBAC and the same scenario this time around.
    BFP #1 10/27/2009 ~ DS1 ~ BIRTHday 7/16/2010 ~ med-free Bradley birth @ 40w5d
    BFP #2 1/22/2012 ~ DS2 & DD ~ BIRTHday 9/13/2012 ~ unplanned C-section @ 38w1d
    BFP #3 5/4/2015 ~ EDD 1/7/2016
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  • My son will only be 12-13 months old. He will stay at home, but my parents (most likely my dad) will come stay with him. It's easier on me knowing that I'm not changing his surroundings, my dad will be more than willing to bring him up to me after baby is born, and my dad already knows the usual routine as he and my mom watch my son while we work.
  • This is our fourth and our 3 will stay at their Aunt and Uncles. Our big kids are in school so they are easy to drop off in the morning. DH will shower and change at home and check on our dogs but we also live 10 minutes away so we are close. He will stay at the hospital over night until discharge.
  • kmo8986kmo8986 member
    edited September 2015
    My sister lives a mile away, we have awesome next door neighbors and as long as DD doesn't come super early my mom and step dad will be at their winter home which is 25 minutes from us. My mom or sister will keep him depending on who is available but the next door neighbor will be on call if neither one of them can get to DS in a quick enough fashion. DH will stay at the hospital with LO and I and hopefully DS will be allowed to visit (since it is flu season this is up in the air). We have left our son with my mom before and he is more than comfortable with her, and I am sure will be fine for a few days.
  • My DS will stay with my parents either at our house or theirs, he's comfortable with both. However my friend who is due about 2 months before me doesn't have any family around, so I'm her on call person. Is there a friend that has a kid the same age as yours that you could use as your on call person? Your DD would be so distracted playing with the other kid they might not even notice you're missing!
  • We will have a repeat c section so it will be scheduled. DH will stay with our daughter at home for the 3 nights. We don't have family here and she isn't comfortable enough to sleep with someone else at our house. It will be a rough couple of nights just be of the recovery and nursing but we will get through it.
  • I'm delivering at a birthing center and you only stay for 4 to 6 hours after birth, but my parents will help take care of her during labor prob in the waiting area. Then my husband will help take care of her after delivery until we leave, she'll go home with us. She doesn't sleep well away from her bed unless she's with mommy so I don't want her to have to sleep somewhere else.
  • They'll probably stay with my mom. The alternative is for my spouse to go home.
    1.0&2.0 7-29-11

  • DS will be staying with my mom. Both DH and I have our mothers and their entire families in the area, so we have a lot of support, thankfully. There is a slight chance of a c-section this time, and I have a feeling that if it happens, it will be a 39 weeks, and my mom already has that week off. If we make it to 40 weeks, she plans to just call out sick. DS is 3 and sends every other weekend with my mom already, so it won't be an issue.

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  • I'm fortunate that my entire immediate family, parents and 3 sibs, all live very close so depending on when I go into labor they will all want to help. My Dad owns his own business so he is most flexible and can be on call if things progress quickly. DS has had a couple of sleepovers at my parents and is very comfortable there and we will try a couple at my sister's house as well. So we will have options. Most likely he will stay with my parents and DH will may spend the second night at home with him, depending on everyone's work schedules.

    I went into PTL last time and got to the hospital at 6 cm so I'm hoping to labor at home until 6 or 7cm this time around but also need to be mindful of how fast things are progressing so I don't deliver on the side of the road like a girl I know recently did!
  • My son will be going to my parents who live about 5 minutes from us.
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