Naps are making me crazy- what am I doing wrong?

EmJ628

I have twin 10wo boys. We are on a 3 hour schedule during the day and roughly following BabyWise. (They were 5 wks early). What I am shooting for is eat/play time is about and hour and I would like for them to sleep 1.5-2 hours. However I am having a terrible time getting them to nap. Sometimes we'll get one good nap a day but typically I only get 20-30 mins sleep out of them then someone is fussing and has to be soothed/rocked etc. I pretty much stay in the nursery all day and bounce back and forth between their cribs for the whole two hour 'nap'. They are swaddled, I have a white noise machine on, I try to watch for sleepy cues, but they just will not stay asleep. It doesn't matter if in cribs, rock n play, swing, etc. and forget laying down drowsy. They just wake up and scream until they work themselves hysterical. They both have reflux so I don't like to let them cry that long anyway. they do sleep in RNP's at night ok. We're down to a feeding at 2am and 6 am at night.

Is this normal? A phase? What am I doing wrong that they will not stay asleep? (And if one more person tells me 'oh sleep when the babies sleep...grrr)

saladflambe

Are they flat on their backs in cribs only during the day and then slightly propped up by the RNPs at night? I'd imagine that's part of the difference, although I have no suggestion about adjusting it.

massey25

My almost 10wo will not sleep unless it's DARK. I have to shield his eyes if it's not dark enough. It sounds like you are doing everything, so probably a phase..

Sorry, that's the only thing I can think to suggest. I hope it passes soon! I feel like it's hectic enough with one little man. You're a rock star for handling two!

EmJ628

@massey25 I have had the shades in the nursery open in an effort to keep clear btw night and day, but maybe I will try closing at sleep time- I will try anything! I have their crib mattresses elevated to help w reflux. I hope it's a phase too!!!

acciocoffee

We hit a really rough patch with naps around 5 weeks. The only thing that worked for me was to wear her in a carrier while I did stuff around the house. The good news is that she grew out of it and naps are pretty easy now!

massey25

I get wanting to keep the distinction, definitely! His room is always the brightest. I need to get some good blackout shades that I can utilize during naps.. That is when I decide to move him to his room. He would probably be ready.. I however am not.

Bigboobsmcgee

Don't try to keep the room bright and don't attempt drowsy but awake. All of that is nonsense that just frustrates parents because none of that crap is possible when you have 10 week old babies.

Also, Babywise is garbage too. It puts added pressure on you to follow some schedule, whether it be a loose schedule or rigid, none of that is really possible when your babies are this young. I'm sorry but I sort of giggled when I read "I'd like them to nap 1.5-2 hours" because we would ALL like that with our babies but again, it's not happening so you are getting frustrated. You need to adjust your expectations and realize that naps suck when babies are that young. You're lucky to get a 45 min nap.

Do whatever you have to do to get them to sleep. Make the room really dark, rock them and if they are asleep, lay them down. They don't have to be drowsy but awake. It's all trial and error until you find what works.

shaley29

I Second the pp. In my experience babies sleep when they want to. Some days I get a few 1 to 2 hour naps out of my daughter, and other days I'm lucky if she sleeps for 20 minutes. It's all in what they want. Since they sleep so well at night I wouldn't expect many naps or long ones out of them during the day. I realize it makes getting this done tough, especially with two (one is hard enough!) but just prioritize your needs better and realize right now you are on THEIR time. It will get better eventually

PrimRoseMama

@Bigboobsmcgee : Satan is having a frosty beer because I agree with you about baby wise!

It's been linked to forced starvation (schedule) & failure to thrive. Ditch it immediately!

https://m.aapnews.aappublications.org/content/14/4/21.abstract

Naps fail when baby is hungry, overtired or both. If you are watching the clock & not the baby-- you'll miss sleep cues. Watch the babies & not the clock.

Bigboobsmcgee

PrimRoseMama said:

@Bigboobsmcgee : Satan is having a frosty beer because I agree with you about baby wise! It's been linked to forced starvation (schedule) & failure to thrive. Ditch it immediately! https://m.aapnews.aappublications.org/content/14/4/21.abstract Naps fail when baby is hungry, overtired or both. If you are watching the clock & not the baby-- you'll miss sleep cues. Watch the babies & not the clock.

Ha! Yes he is!

Bickey11

What about a drive In the car and letting them sleep in the seats after? Sometimes I have to wake my 5 week old after a car ride because he'll almost asleep too long.

EmJ628

@Bickey11 thanks for the suggestion, unfortunately we have one that is carsick. So rides are out. And thank you to those who offered suggestions. With two I have to have some type of schedule, otherwise things would be even more chaotic. They are also EFF so I can't feed on demand. They have almost tripled their birth weight so I am not concerned that their schedule is causing them to be underfed. They've gotten better in the past week so hopefully it is a phase. We were napping great up to 8 wks. And I do not have grand plans for my priorities, they include bathroom breaks, washing bottles and making bottles. There are a lot of days I don't eat until my husband gets home from work. I guess I am just unlucky compared to some and got two fussy babies.