Starting to smoke again. Feeling horrible about it

Knottie1453843914

Long story short. Smoked for 8 years. Found out I was pregnant with my daughter and quit cold turkey the night I found out. Had my daughter 7 weeks ago (8 Sunday) and my life has been nothing but stress. Boyfriend and I fight all the time and we are going to go to counseling. Working 6 days a week. Feel like I'm not giving my daughter what she needs cause my breast milk doesn't satisfy her enough so I'm feeding her formula. (NOT SAYING FORMULA IS BAD but I do produce). She's always wanting me which I don't mind but it's becoming a lot. Plus more. Smoked a few cigarettes in the past few days and now I just bought a pack tonight cause I'm starting to crave them again.

Now I feel horrible that it's coming down to this but I found its calmed me down a lot. I feel bad because I don't wanna go back. I've went so long now and now it's going down the drain. It's a lot of money and I make just enough to get my as it is. My boyfriend still smokes and when he holds her, I sometimes can smell it all over her. I want to grow old with my daughter and I don't want to become addicted again. I want to get back into breast feeding so I'm gonna talk to my doctor about a pill I can take that I found out about to help with it. I'm just feeling super guilty now about it. Has anyone else had this happen to them and what happened? How do it stop this? cause I don't know what to do...

taylorbaby01

I feel you right here! My LO is a month old...I quit when I got pg and now I'm really struggling right now. It's been stressful financially for my husband and I and I was doing so good not smoking. I EBF I know the risks etc etc with BF but he smokes and I've had a few in the past few days because I've felt so overwhelmed and baby decided to switch up her sleep schedule so that don't help. I then regret it cuz I wait at least half hour to an hour to hold her cuz I don't want her around that. I feel bad about it but I'm hoping to get a break from baby soon and go out with a friend. Hoping that helps cuz I don't wanna start up again either although I've been tempted! Hang in there!

Baby2HG

I don't smoke but hang in there. Things will get better and you will find what's best for you. Sounds like you want to quit for sure. Thats a good step.

talisha1992

I had a cigarette a couple of days ago and boy did it feel good! However I then thought about the horrible flem you get in the morning and the cost and since then I haven't fancied another one. Try and find something that puts you off smoking. Try not to feel guilty smoking is ME time before pregnancy so now I try and fill Me time with something else (even if it's just stepping outside for a moment) this is a very stressful time so hang in there

emmacake08

Don't beat yourself up for what you've done, just try to stick to what's important to you moving forward. It's so toxic and non productive to stew over it and like PP said, the baby stuff does get better. Is it possible to find another outlet for the stress? Could you take LO on a walk or you go for a run (I don't know if you're in to that though). Good luck, I hope you succeed!

lauraf2187

I quit cold turkey over 4 years ago for my husband (then boyfriend) I would keep telling myself "you can do this...you want as many years with this man as possible." Just think back to why you quit when you found out you were pregnant...you were protecting your child growing inside of you. That should (and I'm sure it does) remain your #1 priority. Anytime you have a craving, simply think of your child and think of the fact, if you continue this terrible habit, you may leave them sooner than you want. Best of luck. I know it's hard...especially with stress added to the mix but your child is so worth it.

prpl11butterfly

I am not looking to scare you, not at all. But, I almost lost my dad to laryngeal cancer because he smoked for so long (he is only 53). His biggest fear when he found out was not getting to know his grandson. Now, cancer free, he still gets cravings but has something to look forward to. Just keep trying your best and remembering why you quit and what you get to enjoy in life.

Knottie1453843914

Thank you everyone. I'm trying but it's hard. I ended up giving my pack of cigarettes to my coworker. Last night I looked up what can happen and if I do smoke there is a greater chance of ear infections for her and more. plus all the chemicals from the cigarettes are on my clothes and if she breathes it in,over time, there is a greater chance of sids. So I freaked out.