FTM panic

ssn109

I'm a FTM, as the title suggests. I wanted a child for a while, but we waited until our lives were a bit more under control to start trying, and I had to get cleared by a couple of different specialists for my medical issues.

Tonight I'm sitting here, staring at the pile of baby stuff from the shower this past weekend, and I start to panic. I'm going to be a mom. I will be responsible for not killing a helpless little person, and then raising him to adulthood. Can I really do this? What was I thinking bringing a child into this world, I barely feel like I have myself together. I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm terrified. Terrified of actually having to give birth, terrified I'll be a bad mother, terrified my kid will hate me one day, terrified that this wasn't a good decision. So obviously im panicked over how im going to manage this. Clearly it's way too late to change my mind, but please tell me I'm not alone?!

*edited for spelling since I suck at proofreading

Mizuiro007

Congratulations, you're a parent! I mean that in the best way possible. The panic isn't exclusive to pregnancy, it gets easier to bare but doesn't go away. Going through my first pregnancy and panicking in the same way you are now, this is basically what my mom told me. Your self identity changes, your whole life changes. You go from relatively unattached and only really responsible for yourself to being forever part of this little person you're bringing into the world and entirely responsible for them.

Just remember that no one is perfect. We all make those mistakes and we learn from them and get better. Babies are resilient and forgiving. Just love your little one and things will work out.

Jess0813

Dont worry as soon as you hold that little bundle in your arms all the love drowns out the fears. And then you start panicking about new ones like is poop supposed to look like that (it is btw), is the baby to warm or to cold, did he eat enough or to much and the list goes on. But i assure you everything will be ok.

mbecca11

Just you worrying like that already makes you a great mom. I'm a FTM as well and my mom has told me that since the beginning. There's no such thing as a perfect mom, but there definitely is such thing as a great one, and I know your little one will think the world of you. Good luck ❤

mltarrio

You are not alone - I feel the exact same way! Like who thought this was a good idea?! Oh, wait, it was me

When I start to panic I think about these things. I just try to remember the reasons I wanted this little one, and in moments of doubt I look at my husband and remind him that he is in charge. I know that I am carrying the baby, and it will live at my breast for a long while, but my husband is the one who is a born parent, who is good at kids, who has some idea what he is doing. It sometimes feels like I have to figure this "mom" thing out by myself, and it's probably a little true, but I am surrounded by people who will love this kid, and will help when things get hard. 

You are not alone in your feelings at all, and you are not alone in this world to figure it all out either. Now is a time to lean on the people who love you - they will help you - and they will love your little one too. Good luck Mama!  

ssn109

Thank you! I didn't think I was alone, but I was getting ready to go to sleep and it was just a sudden onset of panic. It's been a constant state of being for me most of the pregnancy. First whether I passed on my genetic heart defect, then that I wouldn't have anything and baby would come early, and last night that I wasn't actually ready for this (I'm 32 for crying out loud). This too shall pass, but I appreciate the support in the meantime!

Ccat1977

It seems scary now but it really will be ok. I was never around babies growing up so had no idea how to interact with them. When my first daughter was born I cried and cried "I don't know what to do!" The nurse was so sweet - she helped and comforted me. She saw that reaction a lot in first time moms apparently. Husband was also a huge comfort. Quicker than you think you're an old hand at managing baby - as my fridge magnet says "trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."

Melissadmag

This is totally normal. I couldn't keep a plant alive, and now I have to try and keep a little human alive...... Just trust your instincts... I hope my mothering instincts are better than my plant watering instincts, that's all I know.