Visitors...

ashleymc09

Okay so I'm new to creating a discussion..I wasn't sure if this is a discussion or a question..and I'm sorry if this has already been discussed at some point! But here goes!

Am I the only one who cringes when you get the call/text that a friend or family member is coming over to visit you and baby? (Well let's face it, they just wanna come see baby haha..) It may be bc LO has reflux and you can't really bounce, rock, shake or otherwise move her or lay her flat, and NO ONE seems to get that..so I'm always having to remind people so she keeps her meal down while they visit. Maybe that's it, I don't know, all I know is it's very draining for me when people visit! haha..

If I am the only one, someone please tell me how to cope!

KaLikeAWind

I don't like people visiting, because I just plain don't like people visiting. So there's that. But, in your situation, it sounds like you wouldn't mind people over but are worried your LO will spit up all over them unless they follow express instructions. That's fine. Give them the instructions and fair warning - "my kid will spit up ALL OVER YOU if you don't hold her like this, and these other motions / positions are out, too". Then, if they do any of those things despite the warning, well then, the price they pay for not listening is getting baby puke all over them. Not your problem.

addingon

Not at all! I mostly feel interrupted by visitors these days. I'd rather meet at a neutral site so I can determine when we leave. Instead of having people loiter forever. Gosh, I sound like a real joy putting that in writing!

HoosOnFirst

I always tell visitors to "bring an extra shirt"!

ashleymc09

Yeah I actually don't mind as much if people get spit up on (is that bad?).. I just don't want it to hurt my baby when it comes up. It sometimes doesn't hurt her, but then there are times that it comes out her nose and makes her scream and it's really sad.. But yeah I agree with what you guys say! If they end up with my baby's puke on them, it's their fault because they've definitely been warned! Thanks for your input!

bartonolivia

I hate visitors. especially my in laws. Can't stand them coming over because they interrupt our schedule and they stay super late and keep my baby up way past his bedtime. They never let him sleep. Ugh I'm getting even more mad just typing this lol

janat1717

Grass is always greener, my in laws live like 20 minutes away and they have come to see LO about 4 times for like 15 minutes tops. They hold him, talk to him for a second and leave. Isn't that weird? They have lots of other grandkids who are older and "do more" so maybe that's it. In the meantime my mom has been driving 3 hours all the time to come hangout

mishmardhiono

MY LO has reflux, it doesn't hurt her but I'm over doing excessive washing and her losing her feeds so now I say she has heartburn.. People seem more considerate when it's called heartburn. Reflux meant nothing to me until I had a baby so I'm sure it means nothing to other people who haven't had a baby/outgrown the baby years

lwhrmomma

bartonolivia said:

I hate visitors. especially my in laws. Can't stand them coming over because they interrupt our schedule and they stay super late and keep my baby up way past his bedtime. They never let him sleep. Ugh I'm getting even more mad just typing this lol

This. I totally feel your pain. Hubby took LO to my in laws this morning so they could see him and so I could have some "me time". Except LO fell asleep two minutes before they left and I know that he will wake up as soon as they get there (10 mins away) and he won't nap over there because they all stand over him and gawk and don't understand the importance of routine. So now he will bring a cranky baby home and I'll have to deal with the consequences. Ugh.

mlindzz

I don't mind visitors because my chunk is 16lbs and I'm happy to have someone hold him for a few minutes, as long as he's happy, and he usually is. But we also don't have family in the city, so an extra hand is appreciated and we don't have anyone showing up more than they are invited. It's only frustrating when they show up unannounced, stay too long (more than 1-2 hrs) or they think it's ok to stay past 8pm. But luckily it doesn't happen often.

If I want someone to give him back, I usually say 'he looks like he might spit up' and they usually toss him back like a hot potatoe.

I also find people love making him laugh and playing with him for an extended period of time. Understandably, they think it's a good thing because he's having fun but I can pick up the cues when he's has enough. I usually am honest and probably squash some feelings (as I'm glad it sounds like you aren't scares to do either which is great OP), but I scoop him up and say 'sometimes he likes to party too hard, then the angry tired kicks in out of no where' and I explain that he can only play like that for 5-10 mins, even with mom or dad, before getting overwhelmed. They probably think I'm being overbearing, but I don't care.

bartonolivia

@kristenk727 exactly! One time he hadn't slept ALL day and he was asleep when we got there and I told my MIL that he hadn't slept and she said "oh no! I'm going to have to shake the car seat to wake him up.." Guess what? She did it. Then complained that he was grumpy. Like wth. She would text me EVERY single day asking if she could see him so I changed my number and didn't tell her. I know that's harsh but it was driving me insane.

henrytviii

@MurLindzz You made me laugh LO is over 20lbs. I am excited to go to a party tonight not because I want to socialize but because I want to pass him off and not have a 20lb weight in my arms for a few minutes. I always think I want to have people over but they always stay to long. I'd rather be the one able to leave.

ksimo6

bartonolivia said:

I hate visitors. especially my in laws. Can't stand them coming over because they interrupt our schedule and they stay super late and keep my baby up way past his bedtime. They never let him sleep. Ugh I'm getting even more mad just typing this lol

Hey- that's your baby. If it's bed time, put him to bed. I don't even hesitate about taking the baby away from whomever and letting them know that's it time for him to go down. I'm not fucking with his sleep because some asshole stays at my house way too long. Too bad.

KaLikeAWind

=D> @ksimo6