Babies on the Brain

Postponing TTC *vent*

So I am in the very happy position that I just got the promotion I was hoping for at work which will be great for my career and family. While I am super excited, it does mean that we will have to push TTC until next April which I am less excited about (we previously planned for December). We are super busy during the holiday season at my job and I'll now be running a team of 70 people so there is no way I can go on maternity leave at that time next year.

I know it's only 4-5 months and I know it's the rational thing to do but waiting is already. So. Hard!!!!

Sorry for my vent. Has anyone else had to postpone?

Re: Postponing TTC *vent*

  • My husband and I chose to postpone another year. We were supposed to be TTC this month, but I decided to put it on hold until next Fall. I have my hands full with my two toddlers right now and I don't think I can mentally cope with another added into the mix. It stinks because I'm excited to have a newborn again, but I know it is in everyone's best interest if we wait. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I have a feeling we are going too :( we were gonna maybe start april but who knows now. we are working really hard to get rid of the bit of debt we have but it seems like we cant catch a break and money is so so so tight right now. Everything is breaking in our house or we have doc bills, etc. Im trying to find a new job within my company but i either apply and get told how awesome i am, but dont get it, or im not qualified for whats posted. Its so frustrating and disheartening. I know many women have babies well through their 30s but ill be 31 in december and i really want to start trying sooner rather than later. Im so bummed. I almost made a post to vent about this actually. Sorry you havd to postpone i totally get the feeling-but congrats on the new job!!! April will be here before you know it!
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  • Congrats on the new job! I was in a pretty identical situation this summer. I got a promotion as KAM for one of my companies biggest clients. We were planning to TTC this summer, but chose to postpone until this winter instead. I feel I need to get to know the client before I turn up with a bump. Really frustrating, but I think it is the right decision.
  • We are postponing TTC too and it's so hard. The earliest we will start is January 2017. We were going to start TTC this January, but life happens and it's the most sensible thing to do in our current situation. We'll need assistive technology for male-factor infertility, too, so it's not like it'll happen spontaneously, either. My sister is 11w along in her pregnancy, and I'm beyond excited for her, but I'm also really jealous of her and her husband. And because she's known since before she got pregnant that I was down about not starting as soon as I'd hoped, she asks me every once in awhile how I'm doing with postponing. Our mom also knew, and she asks, and every time they ask it's like ripping off a bandaid from a still-raw wound. I don't want to talk about it with my husband because I'm afraid he'll feel guilty. I mean, we have talked about it and he knows how I feel, so it would really just be me repeating everything I've said already. We're waiting so we can both find jobs when we move after he graduates from grad school. I just want to start now. I hate waiting. And I hate people asking, "Oh, no kids yet? Why not?" People don't realize how rude and presumptive that question is. In the meantime, I have dreams about being pregnant or that I've had a baby. It's like my brain is teasing me even in my sleep. Ugh. 
    ME: 33 / DH: 37
    MFI, NTNP x 10yrs
    6/2017: started IVF + ICSI cycle #1, antagonist protocol (menopur/gonal-f/ovidrel)
    7/17/2017: ER, 16 eggs retrieved, 15 mature and ICSI'd, 7 fertilized. 
    7/22/2017: 1 fresh day 5 embryo transfer, rest of embryos arrested at day 4 morula stage
    7/31/2017: BFN
    August: DH started clomid
    November 2017: Started metformin for egg quality
    March 2018: Planning to do IVF + ICSI, antagonist with HGH, freeze at 2pn stage for 2018 FET
  • Thanks ladies!

    Sorry you have all had to postpone too (I feel a little whiny about a few months compared to some if the timelines you all mentioned) but it's nice to have someone to commiserate with!

    @baker+RN I'm so sorry you are dealing with all that! People definitely don't think before they speak. Hugs to you!

    We'll all get there before we know it and long back for the days where we could drink wine and didn't have to pee every five minutes.
  • Congratulations on your promotion! I know how hard it is to extend out TTC, but it sounds like you are taking the right steps for everything to fall in place. April will be right around the corner, friend!
  • Shiva14: Congrats on the promotion!

    Yes, I know the feeling. I was just promoted this year to Executive Director of our organization and my responsibilities (and stress level) have increased dramatically. As a result, we have postponed TTC by a whole year to allow myself to get settled into the position. It sucks in some ways, but I know it's the best decision in the long run.
  • Hugs to all of you having to post pone:( .

    Hope that the wait goes fast, but is also a good time for you.
  • Congrats on your promotion! Just focus on what a positive thing it will be overall for your future family.

    Your post got me thinking about timing my maternity leave. I work at a tiny nonprofit, no FMLA, so whenever I have to be out it will be tough, but I should probably especially avoid Feb-May due dates. So, I'm not postponing but may need to pause after a few months of trying to make sure I have a job to go back to.
  • I totally understand where you're coming from!  I have been dreaming of being a mama for a long time now, and something always seems to get in the way.  Even though we have only been married for four months, we had a fairly long engagement, and then I just finished up grad school.  Now I'm very grateful to have a great new job (started in July), but every day we're not TTC is exhausting!  I have to wait until at least December to start TTC just to be practical about making sure I qualify for FMLA (in case baby comes early or I have to go on bed rest or something).  I am terrified that after all the waiting, it'll take forever to get pregnant.  

    That said ... I know that after all of the waiting, we will be in the best, most secure, prepared, and responsible place to start our family.  Or at least that's what I tell myself to fight the fever!
    Me (28) & DH (29)
    Married: May 2015
    BFP 1/24/16 EDD 10/4/16
    It's a boy!

  • Congrats on your promotion! I feel for you. ...we've got a similar situation here, too. We were TTC and then I got a job offer I can't refuse. Just yesterday I found out the job does offer some paid maternity leave but only after 18 months of employment. We were going to just wait long enough to qualify for FMLA, now I'm wondering if we need to wait longer. It's hard because I'm 32, so I don't feel like I can postpone for nine months or a year. Blah.

    Me: 33     H: 36

    Married: 12/14/13   DS: 1/29/09

    BFP2: 10/9/15  MMC: 11/12/15

    BFP3: 4/6/16   DD: 12/12/16


  • MrsRo731MrsRo731 member
    edited September 2015
    Congrats on your promotion! Maybe try and think of the next months before TTC as time to do things you won't get to do while pregnant/TTC. Is there any way you can take a short vacation with your SO, even if it's just a weekend? 

    Also, I love love your profile pic and user name. Shivakamini Somakandarkram!
    :))
    July '16 May Siggy Challenge 


    BabyFetus Ticker
    Me: 29
    DH: 32
    Married: June 2011
    DD #1: December 2013
    DD #2: EDD July 2016
  • You ladies are awesome!! Thank you for all the support. It sounds like a lot if us are in similar positions. In the long run those few months won't matter and we'll be able to enjoy our pregnancies more not stressing about work more than we have to. We all got this!

    @MrsRo731 haha thank you!! You're the first one in a year+ on the bump to say something ;)
  • @cjt121413 I hear my clock ticking too- where's the snooze button on that, right?

    @mrsro731 I like the "before TTC bucket list" idea. I do have a new job now to keep me busy, and it does require a lot of my energy, so I guess it's a benefit that I'm not currently pregnant or on any fertility meds. 

    I feel like none of my friends are in the same place as I am, so it's nice to have this community here.

    Once I have my work schedule for Dec., DH and I are making an appointment with a fertility place for general info etc., so that will hopefully give us a better idea of our timeline. Ugh I have BOTB so effing bad! Prrrrrobably doesn't help that AF is visiting too.
    ME: 33 / DH: 37
    MFI, NTNP x 10yrs
    6/2017: started IVF + ICSI cycle #1, antagonist protocol (menopur/gonal-f/ovidrel)
    7/17/2017: ER, 16 eggs retrieved, 15 mature and ICSI'd, 7 fertilized. 
    7/22/2017: 1 fresh day 5 embryo transfer, rest of embryos arrested at day 4 morula stage
    7/31/2017: BFN
    August: DH started clomid
    November 2017: Started metformin for egg quality
    March 2018: Planning to do IVF + ICSI, antagonist with HGH, freeze at 2pn stage for 2018 FET
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