5 year old liked my bf until

WildcatPrincess

My ex and I have been separated for a year, but the marriage was dead years before that, the kids (3 and 5) have very few family memories and never saw us be affectionate.

I started dating an old friend and he has been hanging out with me and the kids a few times a month for the last 2 months. The kids loved him, asked about him all the time, invited him to do stories at bedtime, basically were really into the idea of him.

Yesterday we went apple picking and when bf dropped us off he gave me a peck on the lips. It was a complete turn around for 5 yo DD. Now suddenly he's terrible and she doesn't want to see him anymore. We went to his softball game later in the day and she refused to aknowledge him. I've tried talking to her and get nothing. I've assured her she and her brother are still most important to me and that she only has one mom and one dad and me having a bf will never change that. I told her he wouldn't be living with us or anything any time soon and that he just likes hanging out with us and doing fun things. All she would say is she was tired and grumpy and wouldn't talk about it.

I'm sure there will be ups and downs for years to come, I guess I want to make sure there's nothing else I could be doing. I'd love to have her talk to a family therapist because there has been a lot of change in the last year, but her stranger anxiety makes that kind of thing even more stressful. It will be another 2 weeks before there's a chance she could see him again, just keep communicating or should I let it drop for awhile?

saratee99

Totally normal! Just keep doing what you're doing. I went through the same phase when my mom remarried. I refused to use any of his stuff in the new house, also my SD refused to let DH and I touch eachother when she first met me. She always had to sit between us, wouls smack our hands away if we held hands etc.

agillespie15

How in the WORLD did u deal w your SD smacking your hand away from your DH and/or sitting between you...???? I would not have handled that well at all!!! How did u not get resentful?????

saratee99

Oh she was only 2 years old so I think she just felt like I was taking his attention and affection away from her. I tried to be respectful of that and not too much PDA around her and she slowly warmed up to me. I was 8 when my mom remarried though and I was a total brat about it.

Muffins_Mom

It's a normal kid reaction; keep letting her know he's not "taking you" from her. It will get better. My have a sister who is 27 years younger than me. I met my DH when she was 4 or 5. She HATED him. It was bad enough that she talked to her friends' parents about how "bad" he was and 1 of them talked to my stepmom about it. She thought he was going to take me from her. Now, (at 16) she loves him and refers to him as her brother, bc he kept treating her well and I made an effort to include her in things we did. I knew that she had crossed over when she bought him a Christmas present with her own money. Hang in there.