TTCAL check-in 9/21

AL_TwinCities

Other boards have weekly check-ins, which help to keep the boards active and for posters to get to know each other. Anyone who would like to participate, join in here! And please chime in if you have question suggestions for this check-in!

1. Introduce yourself

2. Status (Months/Cycles TTCAL and WTO or TWW, benched or currently going through a loss)

3. GTKY: what has your TTCAL journey taught you about yourself?

AL_TwinCities

1. Hi everyone, I'm @AL_TwinCities. DH and I live in the Twin Cities, which is the Minneapolis/St Paul metro area in MN. I am 29, and he is 34 and we have been married 9 years. We are TTC #1. I went off BCPS in June 2014, and was amazed to get a BFP at the beginning of August. I had an early loss at 5w5d, when I was traveling for work so ended up getting the news in an ER in an unfamiliar city, alone. We took one month off at my doctor's request, and started TTC again in October. I learned about Taking Charge of Your Fertility by reading the TTGP board on TB this past spring, and am now in my fourth cycle temping. I am also active on the TTGP board, and to a lesser degree on the loss board and TTTC as we are now in month 16 of our TTC journey without a successful pregnancy.

2. Month 11 TTCAL. Not positive of cycle #, probably 12. Currently in my TWW and plan on testing on the 28th at 12 dpo if AF hasn't shown up by then.

3. Just how badly I want to be a mother. When we went off BCPS, it was because we felt like if we waited until we felt 100% ready, we'd never start TTC! When we got the BFP, we were scared but also excited. I went from feeling unsure if we were ready to being positive we were. The loss has been so difficult to grapple with over the last year, as the EDD, mother's and father's days, and the anniversary of my loss all came up. I am comforted by reminding myself that we became parents the day we got our BFP, and we will grow our family at some point, in some way.

LilLambie

1. Hi. I'm from Queensland in Australia. I've been married to my husband for 10 months. We got our bfp in April 2015 after not trying, not preventing for 2 months. The whole way through I was very uneasy with being pregnant, feeling like I would lose it. I think it was because my cousin had just gone through a lose when I got my bfp. I had a little bit of spotting at 8 weeks but pregnancy was confirmed. I hit 13 weeks and was finally able to relax and told work mates and my boss. We then went for our scan. We got told that the baby had some kidney problems and they recomended to terminate right then. We were referred on to our local maternal fetal medicine unit where they explained that my baby had a lower urinary tract obstruction (LUTO). Basically that means the ureter wasn't formed properly and urine was being made but not released which meant it was flowing back and saturating the kidneys. There was a treatment option but it couldn't be done until I was 16 weeks because the baby would be too small. At 16 weeks we went for an ultrasound and found our little boy's bladder had ruptured and there was nothing that could be done anymore. He was still alive but he wouldn't survive past 24 weeks. We decided to terminate based on the fact the two options were deliver when he was smaller and when we had control or what until I went into labour and delivered when he was bigger. I was in labour for 20 hours before delivering my perfect little man, Kaden James. I then bled for 20 days, was found to have retained tissue, had a d&c, bleed for 7 more days, found to have more retained tissue but they left it to see what happened, before finally stopping bleeding 10 days later. I had a 11 day break before bleeding again for 2 days which my doctor said was my period. I'm now on cycle day 23 so wanting for aunt flow to show up.

2. Atm we are preventing because I had to get a rubella vaccine because I had no immunity. We are going to try not this cycle but the next.

3. That I can get through this all and I don't have time to put up with other people's bullshit.

DoodleLAK1

My name is Lauren and I'm from Illinois. My husband and I got married in June and starting ttc right away. We got our bfp the second month and were so excited, I couldn't believe it happened so fast. About a week later I start having pretty intense back pains and light spotting, went to the er and they said we'd basically just hv to see. Four days later I was full blown bleeding, clots, cramps, back pain, the works. Went back to the er and confirmed the mc. I was about 5 weeks and 3 days
This is our third cycle ttc. I am currently wto, the Dr suggested we take a month off but I'm a facts girl and there's really no reason to wait (besides for dating purposes) so I'm going to trust than when my body is ready I will ovulate and hopefully get pregnant.
Something I've learned about myself is that is possible to feel very empty after only being pregnant for such a short time. I feel like somethings missing. Everyday and situation brings up different feelings and emotions

mamahazey

I'm Jenni! I live in southwest Florida and I teach children with special needs grades 3-5. I had a mmc at 11 weeks at the end of July which resulted in a d&c. We were fully planning on waiting the 3 months that were suggested to try again, but when they tell you that you'll be more fertile after a d&c they really aren't kidding. I got the next BFP on September 1st and had a "chemical pregnancy" on September 3rd. Now I'm waiting for my cycle to return to normal so we can officially start trying again.

TTCAL has taught me that I'm stronger than I ever knew. It has brought me and DH closer. And also, it's ok to be emotional.

queenklau

My name is Alejandra, I am 29 and I live in NY with my DH, who is my college sweetheart. We have been together for 12 yrs, married for 3 years. We started trying last summer, got pregnant within 7 months with our first! Unfortunately, after a good u/s at 6 weeks, we had a mmc at 11 weeks in late June which we discovered during our second u/s. I had a d&c 2 days later. We were devastated.
We waited 1 cycle and started trying. We are on our second cycle trying and on the TWW, will test on Sunday.
I learned that you get curve balls thrown at you and that you can learn from them and keep the positive experiences. It is unbelievable how much impact that little person had on me, I will never be the same.

crob5685

1. Hi Everyone! My name is Christine. I live in Minneapolis with my DH and our two 4-legged children. I just turned 30 this past May and DH is 34. We've been married for 9 years. @AL_TwinCities I feel like our intros are identical! We are TTC #1. I went off BC in January and got pregnant in Late April in my 3rd cycle (my cycles after BC were 40+ days). That pregnancy ended in a MMC at around 8 weeks, which resulted in a D&C the end of June.

2. Our current status is that I am still waiting for AF to return. We have been NTNP since the beginning of August as our doctor said it was fine to stop using protection at that time even if AF hadn't returned. I saw doctor this week and if AF doesn't arrive in next 2 weeks and no BFP he will prescribe progesterone pills to hopefully give me a kickstart.

3. Similar to @AL_TwinCities, my loss and the journey since my loss has confirmed just how badly I want to be a mother. I always knew in theory I wanted children but didn't feel it in the same way I saw other women around me feeling it, so I questioned myself a lot about the decision to have kids. I had friends who told me we shouldn't try until I'm 100% sure, but if I'd listened to that advice I may have never started trying and may have deprived myself of this thing I now want so badly. I think that has been another lesson, not to compare my journey and my feelings to others. We are all different and there is no one right way to feel and no one right approach to this TTC journey.

AL_TwinCities

I think you are my bump twin @crob5685 !! I sent you a PM BTW and also accidentally posted on your wall...

Sarafuss

1. Hi ladies!  My name is Sara and I live in Cincinnati, Ohio.  My history is in my signature but we are trying for our third (fourth?) baby after losing our daughter, Macy, in June.  

2. We are on month 4/cycle 3.  Well as soon as AF shows it will be cycle 4.  We are cycling with the RE this cycle and will be doing Femara + Ovidrel + TI.  I am so confused right now though.  I have been spotting for 5 days and still haven't started my period.  This has never happened before, EVER.  And I just want to start so we can begin this cycle!  

3. GTKY: what has your TTCAL journey taught you about yourself?  Losing Macy taught me that I am a lot stronger than I thought I was.  And she taught me how lucky we are to have two perfectly healthy children.  I thank God for them everyday.  I have always been grateful for my children but losing a baby makes it even more clear how lucky we are. 

Teenie16

Hi I'm Christina in Los Angeles. Both my BF and I are 41. We met 3 days before my 39th bday, and I got the questions of marriage and kids out of the way pretty quick because I didn't want to "waste time" with someone that didn't want what I did. A month after my 40th he told me he was ready for a baby, so we started trying in Dec 2013. Got our first BFP in March 2015. Our little boy was growing fine, almost 1 week bigger actually. Then we went for our 20week anatomy scan and found out he was only measuring 17w and I didn't have as much fluid as I should. Dr didn't seem to panicked, just concerned, and told us to come back in 2 weeks. At our followup US is when we learned that he no longer had a heartbeat, and based on his size he had been gone for a week. The scheduled me to be admitted 3 days later to deliver. After 18 hrs of labor Cooper was born on July 25th.

We are just shy of 2 months after our loss/1st cycle trying. I'm technically in TWW but I'm just waiting on AF, due tomorrow so I tested this morning and got a -. 

TTAL has taught me that I'm not as strong as I thought and my BF is such a great man. I am a very independent person and in the past I have dealt with things on my own, I never like asking for help. But I have been struggling with our loss and my BF has been so wonderful in supporting me and helping me through without me asking. While dealing with his own grief too. Our loss has brought us closer together and any doubts about us wanting to be parents is completely gone. I know, together, we can do this. 

carrieandr

Carrie from Florida. DH and I are both 37, TTC#1. We got married in November and started TTC in January.  I got my first BFP in February and had a MMC in March (9wks, baby measured 6wks) and a d&e in April at 11wks.  I had hcg in my system for two cycles after that. After 3 fertile cycles, I got another BFP.  That ended up being a chemical pregnancy, lost on Labor Day weekend, one week after the positive test.

My chart is confusing this cycle. FF says I ovulated on Thursday and gave me a coverline much lower than ever before.  I've yet to have a temp above my usual coverline, so I'm not entirely convinced I ovulated.  I had a peak opk on Thursday, but my temps are definitely not normal and keep going up and down.  If I did ovulate Thursday, our timing was -4 because DH has health issues and isn't feeling up to TTC right now.  It is a horrible feeling to miss my fertile window following my second loss.

TTCAL has taught me empathy.  Not just for others who have miscarried, but for people in general.  Instead of just feeling bad for someone, I feel their pain.  It's weird.

tennisbabymama

1. Introduce yourself: I'm Lauren from Utah. I'm almost 25 yrs old. DH and I started trying in June but didn't track ovulation until July and got my BFP beginning of August. This was our first and DH is so excited to be a dad. We were so excited. A couple days after my 8th week I started to spot and went in for u/s and found out baby was measuring at 6.5 weeks and saw the heartbeat. I knew right then something was wrong. I knew our dates were right and I couldn't be 6.5 weeks. Sure enough the bleeding started again that night and within 48 hours I naturally miscarried. This was just last week on 9/10. It's been heartbreaking for nothing DH and myself.

2. Status (Months/Cycles TTCAL and WTO or TWW, benched or currently going through a loss) Currently going through a loss. Bleeding stopped over the weekend at about a week past m/c. I go in again tomorrow to get my blood tested. We went in a week ago and I still had hcg in there but was dropping. I think tomorrow I'll be almost to 0 and hopefully will start AF not too terribly long after so we can start trying again. Although we aren't planning on trying to prevent now either but we haven't done anything since m/c. I'm still emotionally getting it together.

3. GTKY: what has your TTCAL journey taught you about yourself? It's taught me that I can do hard things. And we can do hard things together. When I started bleeding I told my DH that I didn't think I was strong enough to go through this. It's still tough but getting better. I am scared to death to be pregnant again and have it happen again but trying desperately to stay positive and look toward to future with bright hopes.

queen_frostine

1. I'm Rain and I live in Texas. I'm turning 34 next month and my husband is one year younger. We got married a bit over two years ago on our ten-year anniversary. We FINALLY started trying at the end of July/beginning of August and we were successful on our first try! I thought it made sense since really I'd been gearing up to try for so very long. The baby would have been born at the end of the Spring semester so I'd have had the entire summer off without having to actually take time off. It just seemed so meant-to-be. Then I went in for my first ultrasound and was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. I wasn't sure what to do and ended up having a d&c just a few days later. It was all just so surreal. Sometimes I wonder if it ever even happened at all (but I can check the hospital bill to prove it, I guess).

2. I'm on my second cycle, I guess, waiting to recover from the d&c. My pregnancy symptoms have leveled off and my temps have dropped. I'm waiting for a pattern to emerge in my cycle so I can identify ovulation & wait for menstruation again.

3. I always get mad when people treat pregnant women like they're sooo special just for being able to reproduce. But when I was pregnant, I felt SO special and important. It was just amazing. I was really looking forward to all the attention, too. I really miss that feeling. Luckily, my husband has been wonderful and has been treating me like I'm still special and important.

msuzannah

1. I'm Morgan and I'm from Utah. My husband and I decided to start trying in January of this year. We took out my iud and were very surprised to get a bfp in early February. At 11 weeks I started to have some light spotting so I went in and we found out the baby had stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. Just 2 days after we saw the heartbeat. We were both devastated for a while.
2. We started trying again in July so this is month 3 cycle 2. Currently I am charting and using opk but not temping yet... Maybe next month
3. I've learned through my journey that I am stronger than I ever thought possible. Ive learned that I have an incredible and supportive husband who will always be there for me. And I've learned how incredibly compassionate I can be to others who go through this. My empathy has gone through the roof!

fairygirl86

1. Hi I'm fairygirl I'm from boise, idaho. I stopped my bcp in the middle of the January cycle and got pregnant in April. I missed carried may 23 right after my 8 week appoitment.

2. We started trying the second week after my miscarriage since doc said if would be fine. My cycles have been long in my opinion I had a 48 day. Then a 40 day cycle. I'm currently on cd 39 and have had negative tests so just waiting for the monthly to show. I was temping but was making it hard for me to sleep and working overnight I had very rocky chart so I stopped so I'm not sure how much longer I have to wait.

3. That I really want a second child. I'm strong for getting thru this and all the announcements I've had to deal with since the miscarriage.

Samantha8604

Hi, I’m Samantha, My husband and I have been married for 3 years now and are from Wisconsin. We went through 4 miscarriages and 2 D&C’s before we were blessed with our now 18 month old. This is our first month TTC again and it terrifies me to think we could go through all those losses again before we are blessed with another baby. I’m currently in our TTW and I had forgotten just how stressful these 2 weeks are.  I know I shouldn’t test until AF is due on October 1^st but I know I won’t have the will power to wait that long  

Chichigo

I am from Chicago. My husband and I are in out mid30s. Our first child was born in Dec13 and our second was due one day after his second birthday. Instead, I started spotting @9 weeks (on Mother's Day), and had a natural miscarriage. My bleeding lasted 2 weeks total.

We prevented until my first AF, then for a few months were NTNP. The biggest barrier to conception during those months was that I had a lack of interest in all things, including my husband. I started therapy six weeks ago, and its helping. We are now TTC, and will start charting with my next cycle, if need be. I'm on CD15, so I'm considering this my TWW. I will test October 6th; it's the birthday of my friend's rainbow baby, and hoping it's lucky for me.

I'm not sure what my journey has taught me about myself, but I have learned a lot about others. Family and friends that have kept their struggles with infertility and miscarriage quiet for years (for 60+ years in several cases) have shared their experiences with me.

jsassy

1. Hi, I'm jsassy and I live in San Diego. DS is 4 and DH and I have been TTC#2 since January 2014. I had polyps removed in June 2015 and finally got a BFP in August, first cycle after surgery. I naturally miscarried two weeks later after seeing baby on US with low heart rate. I am mostly a lurker, primarily on TTGP, but I have been trying hard to participate more when I can. Now that my journey has brought a loss, I've been lurking new boards.

2. I have not yet had AF post-loss, but my OB said we didn't have to wait. I am temping and believe I did ovulate and am currently in my TWW, 7dpo to be exact.

2. GTKY: I am still learning about myself after this loss, everyday I look for the silver lining, and try not to blame myself. I did learn the importance of telling a few close friends/family early on about the pregnancy and then subsequent MC because it was that support that got me through the first few awful days. 

ceclarlinetlo

1. Hi everyone! DH and I are high school sweet hearts, together for 11 years, married for 6. We are now 28 and have been ttc #1 for a year. We have have had two missed miscarriages along the way. The first was a blighted ovum diagnosed at my first OB appointment at 8 weeks back in January 2015 and I had a D&C at 10 weeks in July 2015 where the baby stopped growing at 6w1d. I was more active here back in July and August but have been more active on the TTTC board lately.

2. I'm currently on CD20 (2DPO) of my first cycle after my D&C in July. I am currently benched but still charting my cycle. After my second loss my OB started testing for Reccurent pregnancy loss. The first round of testing showed that I have a septate uterus and could have PCOS. I'm still waiting on the second round of testing to evaluate me for PCOS. Thankfully the tests for thyroid and clotting disorders are mostly normal. My OB has referred me out to an RE and my appointment is November 12. I'm not really interested in trying again until the septum is taken care of and DH is traveling A LOT for school anyway so it's kind of a moot point until March.

3. I'm not sure what this has taught me about myself. I'm feeling pretty over whelmed with being referred out to an RE so I'm not really capable of too much deep reflection lol.

smfeuro

1. Hi, I'm Shannon and I'm from the Dayton, Ohio area. DH and I have been together for 7 years and married for 2.5. I just turned 30 a month ago and DH is going to be 32 in December. When we got married we were NTNP and I got pregnant in July 2014 to have a miscarriage that August. That hit me hard and we benched ourselves for 3 months. We started actually trying and got pregnant at the end of january to have a D&C March 7th. I am active in the trying to get pregnant board, and TTTC board, and now here too probably. 

2. Currently in the TWW of my very first real temping/charting cycle ever. CD 24, 7 dpo. And planning on testing on the 29th if AF doesn't show up by then. Just like you @al_twincities fingers crossed for us!  

3.This journey has shown me that I really do want to be a mom, more than I care about anything else in this world I think. Oh and also that I'm stronger than I realize. Going through two losses will change a person. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what happened to me and my potential babies but I dont feel the sadness/depression as much anymore and I'm okay with that. It was bad there for a while. But don't get me wrong I hope the third times the charm!

kmalls

Hi, I'm kmalls and my husband and I live in a suburb outside of Boston. We've been married just over a year and have a 7 month old DS. We started TTC as soon as my cycles came back after giving birth, and we got a BFP at the beginning of September (after about 4 cycles). From the very beginning this pregnancy felt different, from light spotting to cramping to just not feeling right. At 6.5 weeks I started spotting, which turned into heavy bleeding, and a miscarriage was confirmed. This just happened this past Tuesday, 9/22.

Since I'm still going through a loss we'll need to wait until AF shows up again before TTC. Hopefully that will be sooner than later!!

Our loss has taught me that it's ok to reach out for help and to lean on someone else. I didn't meet DH until I was 31 and I was very set in my independent ways. This experience has shown me there's no shame in completely breaking down and allowing someone else to catch me.

MrsDelfosse2B

1. I'm Krista! I'm from green bay Wisconsin I'm 27. I lost my DS when he was born at 22 weeks just over 2 years ago. I currently work in IT and I am a nursing student.

2. Ttc. Starting our first cycle of Ivf since our loss.

3. I've learned that I am stronger that I ever thought possible and that I have the most amazing friends and family.

obimoma

1. I'm Jennifer. I'm 39 and live near Houston, TX. I have 4 children 19, 17, 11, and 9 plus two angel babies. My husband and I married in 2009, and he has no biological children. I teach special education.
2. I had a tubal reversal in march and had a bfp on Mother's Day. I was hit in the stomach by one of my behavior students and had a mc on June 4th. Although we're not 100% sure if that was the cause. We've been ttc again since July. I'm fairly certain I'm pregnant now, even though I'm only 9 dpo.