Vent- name rudeness.

Mommyduclos

I know a lot of people don't share the name before the baby is born to avoid the rudeness. But I know my mother- it wouldn't stop her, she is just rude so I decide to get it over with. She hasn't liked any of my kids names at first and is rude about it and then processes and decides she likes them after all. Ugh!

This baby we chose the name Henry Lawrence. Lawrence is a name from my husbands grandfather since both our other kids have middle names from my grandparents.

I told my mom yesterday and she responded as I expected- what!? I don't like that. And proceeds to give me a million suggestions like we didn't scour baby lists reading every name she suggested, some were on our short list but it's not like she gets final call. She also always pushes for me to use a different family name- ugh! I expected it so I'm not even really that upset just irritated that I have to go through this every time.

Anyone else have rude family members you just have to put up with?

xxarlannaxx

That sucks! I actually have two people, they are mother and daughter and although they are not blood related to me we are very close. I consider my friend to be a close sister and I consider her mom to be like a second mom to me. I didn't tell them what I was going to name the baby but I asked them what they thought about the name....long story short I was basically told that even though it's my baby if I were to choose that name for my child I would be setting my child up for teasing and they didn't like the name so that means it couldn't be chosen.
um no! it can and I guess unfortunately for them it has and they just don't know it. My significant other and I will name our child whatever we wish. We really don't care what anybody else has to say on our choice of names. we are keeping it a secret just to surprise people and if they decide they don't like it that much then don't, but it won't change anything being immature and throwing a tantrum about it. We are the parents and we'll name OUR creation what we choose. To bad for anyone who didn't make this baby lol.

ChrissyD1203

Just brush it off. We are naming our baby girl Eleanor Rose (nickname Ellie), we told everyone because I didn't see the point in delaying - so many positive comments and lots of negative ones too (including from my MIL and SIL who just wanted her full name to be Ellie). It doesn't matter. They will get over it.

Krisdee123

Henry is a great name. It was on my list until we found out it was a girl

MssyMmmy

I told people my name a long time ago but never said it was final. Some loved it and some were like "meh...what about..."
We revealed the gender but I am going to wait to tell family because I don't want any more suggestions.

ntyravgsp

I haven't heard any rude comments about DD's name, but we didn't share it with anyone until after she was born. I figured at that point, people know we aren't going to change it. Although not telling didn't stop MIL from giving us suggestions the last 2 months of that pregnancy, I just ignored it.

rah938

Exactly why we don't tell until it's the name. People are much less likely to be opinionated and ask you to change once it's on the birth certificate

OrangeFox

I'm sorry that really sucks. Can you talk to your mom and let her know how it makes your feel?

With my first we discussed our ideas with family and close friends and got all kinds of negative feedback throughout the process. This time when close friends or family ask I tell them a few names that we like but don't plan on using. Then I don't get my feelings hurt no matter what they say. The few names in our short list I have told husband not to tell anyone about.

Grace213

People suck sometimes. My mom and dad don't care for our boy name and right after I told her what we picked, she told me the names my dad preferred. Like, you already had your chance to name a baby!

Mommyduclos

I kept telling her "that's not a nice way to respond to someone telling you what they plan to name their child" she goes awwww then proceeds with her bullshit. She is the most sensitive person I know but don't give a poo about anyone else's feelings. Anyways- I know the drill- she'll tell a few of her friends and they'll like it and have a normal person response and she'll decide she likes it here in the few days. I know she'd have the exact same response even if I told her after the baby was born so I just decide I'd rather deal with her "processing" now than later. It's not like we chose something completely off the wall.

carlyhammond

My sister told me last week she didn't like my baby's name.
My son will be 1/2 Hispanic. The name we picked out isn't Hispanic at all. She told me she didn't like his name because it "didn't sound mexican"
It bothered me at first and I scoured the baby name sites and I decided screw her, it's my baby, I'll name him what I want.
I'm in love with my sons name

Hipshaker

That's a micro aggression, on the verge of being like fully racist. And it should make you pissed. Watch out for those. The destroyed my confidence being biracial myself. I have a Russian name. Not Russian, lol. But I like it. It sounds perky, like me. You need to label your your child according to other people's ideas about ethnicity and skin color!

Emott13

MIL was slightly bitchy (although never said anything out loud) when DH and picked my mother's middle name for DD's middle name. Firstly, it sounded better with DD's first name than any female name on her side. Secondly, she was hardly in DH's life until she realized he was going to get married soon. Even then, we were never invited over or called on holidays until DD came around, and suddenly she calls and guilt trips him for "keeping her granddaughter away from her" when our schedules don't work out to get together on holidays. For this baby, she practically demanded that since we had used someone from my family's name for DD, we somehow owed it to her to use a name from her family for this baby. Seriously? Had she been actively involved in our lives before the prospect of a granddaughter came along, I could see honoring her as a namesake. But I feel that #1 we don't "owe" anyone anything with regards to how we name our children, and #2 even if we did, we certainly don't owe HER. I almost hope that we have a boy so we can honor DH's father in his name rather than MIL. I feel like a horrible person but she has only ever acted like a mother to DH when it's convenient or beneficial to her, and she uses him like an old ex or something.

TLDR; sorry, turned into a rant against MIL, but suffice it to say, I refuse to fulfill her demand of a grandchild with her name unless she cleans up her lifelong act of treating DH and me like sh**.

Kimberlyain

We loved the name Theodore for a boy (we are having a girl) but when I told one of my coworkers she shrieked "I hate that name do not name your child that" and then started a game of teasing me about it with other coworkers. It got so bad we scrapped that name idea all together and started looking for something else. People can be so mean/judgmental about things that really don't affect them at all!

PHDB

I told a few close friends but am not telling family until she's born (we do have a boys name chosen just in case there's a last min surprise). I know family will have their comments

juneandboo

We were visiting my in laws today and DH told them we hadn't decided, but were going to keep things under wraps until our son was born. We were both already over the opinions and negative feedback. My MIL wasn't pleased that we were keeping things between us, but...honestly, naming a baby is a personal decision. Not a family affair.

ArronRobinson

My mother is the same way. Straight up said she didn't like the name we chose for our daughter and started to suggest others. Thought it was incredibly rude but it wasn't totally unexpected. I was annoyed for a few minutes and then let it go. I don't care what she or anyone else thinks. My child, my choice.

paigeyferd

At a meeting this week, someone said my baby's name and my coworker made a face of absolute disgust. I asked her why she looked so appalled, since I had told her (and my whole grade level) my girl name back in July. She said she thought I was kidding... The thing is, the name is very plain. Like Jane or Anne. From the look on her face, you would have thought I named her Moonbeam Raindrop. People will find a way to be rude sometimes!

willashbaby

@paigeyferd maybe someone with that name used to kick her in the vag on the playground. I know that's ridiculous but so is her reaction. Just think of her getting kicked in the vag, it's worth a good giggle.

mch9191

We told family we won't announce the name until baby is here so my mil has taken to giving us names we aren't allowed to use...because apparently it wasn't clear enough we don't want other opinions on the name

dcbissett08

Yup! I feel every MIL feels like their opinion matters for naming grandkids. My in laws are the reason I'm not telling anyone the names we picked! She's been trying to get us to use Brody for every pregnancy. #1 your not naming my child and #2 you already had your turn naming kids! Grr I get so irritated easily with them!

BarrettJ89

My FIL gave us a lot of hassle about our son's name, "Cohen." My boyfriend (blonde hair, blue eyed) was adopted (his adoptive dad is Palestinian). There were two main complaints from FIL; one being that we didn't name the baby "Nagi" after him, and two being that the name Cohen is Jewish, which we didn't know at the time or care, to be honest. We just loved the name!
Luckily, so far no one has given me any hassle to my face about our daughter's name, but even if they do, screw them...

SamAdams2006

We want to name our baby Ramona, but my mom is being a total b**** about it. I love the name and completely regret telling her. She called me from a family party with my aunts and cousins today so that everyone could tell me how "awful" it was over the phone. I hadn't planned on announcing my name choice to family other than her, which she knew. But she didn't care, it was more important that I hear how bad Ramona is from my extended family. So annoying!!!! Now I want to use it even more than I already did.

1sloqwen

When people have their own baby they get a say. I think we will hold off telling people until they need to know.

ntyravgsp

@SamAdams2006 I hope you do use the name Ramona. That's a terrible thing for your mother to do. X(
Eta I'm sure she'll get over her aversion to it once she meets your little girl too.

rdupre5

That really sucks. I grew up with a different name and got teased all the time, but the older I got, especially now with having had to pick out a name for my baby, I've realized if it's not the name, kids/people are going to find SOMETHING to pick on. Your name could be the most "normal" name out there & someone somewhere will be picking on something else. It's a shame, but that's most humans nowadays. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but try not to let it bother you. It's her grandkid, not her kid, not her choice. She should love & support no matter what, but like I said, some people just have to find something rude to say. I hope it all works out for you!

Meg920

I'm in the same boat! I want to name my daughter Natalie Ann and my mom hates it. The worst part is, is that Natalie is my grandmother name (dads mom) and Ann is my moms mom. It just bothers me that she is so honest about her opposition. I explained to her that it's the meaning behind the name that makes it extra beautiful and I hope that she can see that. Her response... I'll just call her Alie. Ugh.. And it's hard enough for my hubby and I to agree.

mg137

A friend got, "oh my god! I knew a girl with that exact name in high school. She was such a slut!" What are you supposed to do with that information?

We're waiting to tell, like we did with the twins. We were going to be team green with them but decided to find out when we learned it was twins so we wanted to keep something a surprise, even if it couldn't be a surprise for us.

I love the name you picked. Sounds like your mom probably would have had a problem with any name. Maybe she wants to be more involved and feels left out being told the name rather than being asked for input first. My sister's friend had similar issues with her wedding so she'd give her mom fake choices and ask for input or ask her mom to make decisions on things she didn't really care about.

mommaSimpkin

No one seems to agree with our middle name for our son. But I went through this with my oldest son.
Son #1 is named Lukas Earl. A lot of people hated the Earl part, but that was my grandpas name, so I didn't care. Now everyone loves it. This son were naming Levi Albert. Albert was DH's grandpas name, so they'll get over it eventually. But as I expected, no one likes his name.
Tough luck.
Little Levi WILL be named after DH's grandpa.


You go ahead and name your son whatever the hell you feel like. Once he's born, no one will care to change it. They'll be too in love with the baby.

cyanope

Man, all of comments make me grateful for my family (and DH's)!! They all kept their mouths shut and told me they "loved" our name (even if it was a lie). I only had one SIL who told me our name choice was "interesting," and that was enough to annoy me. I see now that her comment was not even that bad! She texted me later and assured me she thought the name was perfect, so I got over it quickly. You ladies are all nicer than I would have been. If someone straight up told me they hated our name choice, I probably would have lost it on them. Why are people so rude? Keep your opinions to yourself!

Mommyduclos

Well my mother has continued her name rudeness and apparently is getting other family members on her side. She thought it was a good idea to text me very late at night while my husband is out of town and tell me "I can do whatever I want, but my family doesn't like that name" I know who she discussed it with and they just had a baby themselves. My cranky self is tempted to give them a piece of my mind- I already gave my mom one after telling her time and time again her response is entirely inappropriate and extremely rude- so now I have to attempt to sleep. Grrrrr. Baby must feel I'm upset he is dancing around trying to cheer me up.