who is going to be in your delivery room?

Danelle+Miguel

Who is going to be in your delivery room. .. And who thinks they 'should' be. What are you ladies doing if these don't match up?

jordans_wife

My hubby and best friend who also worked in labor and delivery as a nurse were allowed into my first 2 babies birth rooms. My best friend got to actually come on shift to be my labor and delivery nurse for both. My mom was invited to the birth of my 1st born but missed it by minutes. She passed away 3 months after he was born and I wish very much to this day that she'd have made it on time.
Anyway, for my 3rd I feel more laid back about inviting my two sisters in if they'd like to be there. My 1st 2 were unmedicated births so they were very intense so I didn't want many people there. This time around I'm gonna try to get an epidural so I don't mind my sister's being there also.

PedsIsHardcore

Just SO, my partner in crime that is also my coworker and her mom. That's it. I have had 5 people ask me and I told them no. My coworker is also a nurse and has 2 kiddos. I trust her so no worries and her mom is basically my mom. Her mom gets me on a level that is hard to even explain. Only people I trust with my life...

AdventureMama

I'm having a RCS so only my husband will be allowed. My first labor I had my mom and dad and H, my dad was planning to leave the room when it came time to push but I never got to that because I had an emergency c-section, and they took pity and let my mom and H come back with me (normally they just allow one support person). 

My MIL and SMIL were both a little butthurt about not being invited back but I didn't care. I would have been far too uncomfortable with either of them there. My MIL waited in the lobby and didn't make a big deal about it at all, which was nice. My SMIL protested by not waiting in the waiting room at all (she and FIL are kind of... just horrible people) and then showing up to the hospital to meet him and getting mad that they didn't get to be alone with our baby because other people were visiting, and they left without saying anything or holding him. Soooo yeah.

Have who YOU want in the room and don't let anyone pressure you to let them in if you aren't comfortable with it. It's your body and your baby. Absolutely no one has the right except you and your partner.

cMichelle0423

I'm only having my husband with me. I'm not sure what everyone else is thinking but I'm not changing my mind lol this will be our third LO and it's always been just him. It wasn't a problem with our first because we were out of state. But with out second, his dad and his gf were furious that we didn't let them join us. They never even asked us what our plans were or if they could be included. But because "they were there for all their other grand babies births", they felt entitled to be at ours. Never will I EVER let that happen!

mamacastro

Same as @AdventureMama. For us RCS so just H and that is fine with me. MIL insisted she would be there for the birth of our DS but I had to have a CS so dodged that one

MrsSmithA

I plan on just having my husband. My mom passed away and I don'

t think there is anyone else I would want there. MIL and my dad may want to be involved, but I don't want them in there during active labor

willamina28

cMichelle0423 said:

I'm only having my husband with me. I'm not sure what everyone else is thinking but I'm not changing my mind lol this will be our third LO and it's always been just him. It wasn't a problem with our first because we were out of state. But with out second, his dad and his gf were furious that we didn't let them join us. They never even asked us what our plans were or if they could be included. But because "they were there for all their other grand babies births", they felt entitled to be at ours. Never will I EVER let that happen!

WHAT?! That is seriously ridiculous. On so many levels. So creepy. Why would anyone want their FIL watching them push a baby out of their vagina, let alone someone who isn't even family! Crazy!

strlitemiss

My husband and probably DS 1 for most of my labor. I expect he might get taken to the other room while I push. Which means also my mil will be around as well as she's in charge of Ds1 as well.

willamina28

I had my DH, Mom, and Sister in there for my first, my sister got tired of waiting (36 hour labor, 4 hours pushing) and left, no joke, like 20 minutes before he was born!

This time only DH. My Mom will be watching DS while I'm labor/delivering.

Honestly DH was super easy going about it (not what I expected). My Mom who I thought was going to be chill was the most up in my face yelling at me to push and not hold my breath and physically to close and all that, I had to yell at her to just stop talking at one point... damn 4 hours was a long long time to be pushing...

Life is Exciting

Just hubby. Unless he needs a pinch hitter like with my last long labor when he needed an emotional break and he asked if I would mind if my mom came in for a few minutes so he could walk out and breathe.

Latina211508

My husband will only be in the room with me and I only want him only. This is our fourth baby and he only wasn't there for our first because he was deployed. I couldn't imagine any one else to be in the room.

Vkrosa

My mom is going to be with me. H has yet to knowledge this baby so he's not invited at this point. I also have child care set for our two DDs so all will be good.

cMichelle0423

willamina28 said:

cMichelle0423 said:

I'm only having my husband with me. I'm not sure what everyone else is thinking but I'm not changing my mind lol this will be our third LO and it's always been just him. It wasn't a problem with our first because we were out of state. But with out second, his dad and his gf were furious that we didn't let them join us. They never even asked us what our plans were or if they could be included. But because "they were there for all their other grand babies births", they felt entitled to be at ours. Never will I EVER let that happen!

WHAT?! That is seriously ridiculous. On so many levels. So creepy. Why would anyone want their FIL watching them push a baby out of their vagina, let alone someone who isn't even family! Crazy!



********** quote fail **********

You have no idea how ridiculous the situation got. Both my SIL's had c section so I guess their births weren't as graphic in the same sense a vaginal birth is. But yahh they were so mad they didn't see the baby until he was over 2 months old. Even went as far as to say I wasn't welcome in their home, they were THAT butt hurt over it. They were the first people DH called once we were settled after I had the baby so it's not like we were excluding them from the whole experience. But apparently we "should have" called them as soon as I went into labor so they could be there for everything.

cvolkmar

DH and our birth photographer, who also happens to be my BFF for last 28 years. She also just had a baby in April, so I know she'll be more than just a photographer that day. My dad is in healthcare and HATES the hospital I'm delivery at, so my doctor and DH know, if there are any complications with me or the baby, they are to get my dad in that room STAT!!!

SoSirius

Husband and our doula. It was just my husband last time and he slept while I was in serious pain from the back labor. He didn't notice all the throwing up or the violent shaking either. Thought I'd call in reenforcements this time :-) .

meg+on+the+DL

I'm a FTM and I'm just planning on DH and my mom if she wants. She lives an hour away so it all depends on how quick everything goes. I already told DH that he and my mom will stay uptown for the birth. I'm pretty sure he won't recover if he sees the baby coming out. I only want the doc and nurses handling that business.

MaybeMab

When I was pregnant with my daughter my mother demanded to be in the room and got upset when I told her no.

I will be having a c-section and it will only be my husband even though he doesn't want to, I'm giving him no choice.

kateryna72

Only my hubby. I'm having a c section, so no one else will be able to come. I don't think I'd want anyone else there anyway. We cherished our first few moments as a family with my first, and I couldn't imagine giving that up this time. We also didn't have any visitors in the hospital the last time, and we will do the same this time around as well.

cMichelle0423

maluevano said:

I'm a FTM and I'm just planning on DH and my mom if she wants. She lives an hour away so it all depends on how quick everything goes. I already told DH that he and my mom will stay uptown for the birth. I'm pretty sure he won't recover if he sees the baby coming out. I only want the doc and nurses handling that business.

He will see!! Lol it's inevitable.

m3pries

Just my H will be in delivery with me. I'm sure his parents will want to be there for the whole thing, but I want it to have some alone time with our LO before everyone wants to come visit.

dem068a

Just my husband for me.  I don't get a break during labor, so neither does he

My hopsital doesn't allow visitors for the first 2 hours after the baby is born (they think it is important for the parents to bond with the baby alone, which I love), and depending on what time of day I give birth, it may or may  not even be visting hours for the hospital.  Both of our parents live less than an hour away, so we will be calling them after the baby comes and they can come see him then

Twindling

My hubby, mom, Gma, MIL, friend (also our birth photographer) & best friend.

Our hospital really has no limit as long as they can still maneuver the room freely (and the rooms are huge)

oxsarah7ox

It will just be my husband and I. I was in the room for both of my sisters with the births of all 4 of my nephews. I was their 2nd support person, but my H is very private and we do want to spend the first bit afterward just as a family. I know they will be very hurt, but this is something we both want. They're a little dramatic so I am a little nervous to tell them!

Amberino86

Our hospital limits to two people in the room. I will have My DH in the room as well as my sister. My sister and I are really close and she was great last time - people kept commenting she should become a doula. With the birth of DS they did allow my mom in as well, she wasnt right beside me but rather sat to the side out of the way of the nurses and that was fine with me as it was nice to know she was there but I didn't feel like she was trying to impose. My GIL and MIL wanted to be in the room as well but I think that would have just been far to many people there.

AggieKim

My husband. Any more than that and I'd feel awkward. I love her to death but my mom is NOT privy to my girly parts despite how many times she wiped my ass as a child. I figure my son will be with my dad and whatever family is able to be in the waiting room (and I wouldn't care if my dad took Asher driving around or to play or even to my parents' house. No need to bore the kid to death.

deannmr

My husband is the only one I want in there! My mom insisted that she be in the room with my first but I fought with her about it until the day of and even had to give her the evil eye to get her out of the room! This time everyone knows its just my husband. That's all I'm comfortable with!

pettycrocker

H. Last time we let my mother stay and that turned out to be a nightmare. 

Shatzegirl

Just my husband, doula, and midwife.

flockofmoosen3

Last time it was my husband and my MIL. My mom lives out of state so she came a few days later. She wants to plan to be here for #2 but that probably wont happen again. I would def want husband in the room again and maybe MIL on call. MIL was awesome and never awkward or annoying the first time, but i think dh and i can manage it ourselves this time. Honestly think my own mom would have been super annoying in the room anyway.

camusoh2011

Now that we know we'll most likely be having a c-section I imagine it will just be DH in the operating room with me. There will be so many people in there that while I'd love to have my stepmom or someone in to take some pictures right after they are born I'm not sure it the hospital will allow it. If they will then I will be inviting her or my MIL if she can be in town.

Danelle+Miguel

Thanks everyone, really great to get different perspectives! I think I would do better with just DH in the room, and think it will be a great bonding experience for us. But my mom is going to be extremly hurt/angry to be 'uninvited'. She is very sentamental over this. So im not looking forward to that conversation.

AlmJlcBaby1

I will probably just have my SO and maybe my mother in there. 

AggieKim

Danelle+Miguel said:

Thanks everyone, really great to get different perspectives! I think I would do better with just DH in the room, and think it will be a great bonding experience for us. But my mom is going to be extremly hurt/angry to be 'uninvited'. She is very sentamental over this. So im not looking forward to that conversation.

So for delivery, it was just my hubs. However, my parents and a few other close family members were in the waiting room (their idea!) and they visited me on and off beforehand and then afterwards (you know, when my skirt wasn't lifted for one reason or another). So they got to be there, but for the most graphic moment, they weren't there, and came back as soon as shit was put back to normal/I became presentable. Maybe that can help?

Edited because I suck at typing.

bizzerbee

I just found out that I will not be allowed to have anyone in the room with me when I give birth. As a FTM it is really scarying me to think that neither my H nor my mother will be there to support me, comfort me or encourage me. I was also told that I have no choice in whether or not I receive an epidural. It is mandatory here. I know that moving abroad I made a choice that some things would be different then life back in the US but this is a bit harder to deal with than some of the other daily frustrations I have already come to terms with.
I am really scared and nervous about delivering now.

je5sc0

Just my husband. I really want a few hours alone before our overbearing families come and try to take her away from us. My BIL just had his first and they spent ZERO time alone at the hospital beside nighttime. They had an obnoxious amount of people (my in laws + fam) in the waiting room for 12+ hours!

I don't want that pressure and supposedly they were asked to have half of the people leave because they were loud and disturbing others. How fun. Plus my mom is very set on me not getting an epidural. And thinks she can talk me out of it / keep me from getting it. No. Back up lady. Ugh I'm most stressed about our families being in the hospital.

thisusername

Probably the only perk of living 3,000 miles from everyone we love, I don't have to pick! Just me and my love! I wish I could bring my cats though..

Erinka

What country are you living in? Gosh, I would be a little upset too if H couldn't be there!

bizzerbee said:

I just found out that I will not be allowed to have anyone in the room with me when I give birth. As a FTM it is really scarying me to think that neither my H nor my mother will be there to support me, comfort me or encourage me. I was also told that I have no choice in whether or not I receive an epidural. It is mandatory here. I know that moving abroad I made a choice that some things would be different then life back in the US but this is a bit harder to deal with than some of the other daily frustrations I have already come to terms with.
I am really scared and nervous about delivering now.

bizzerbee

Erinka said:

What country are you living in? Gosh, I would be a little upset too if H couldn't be there!

I live in Barcelona, Venezuela. And my whole delivery is just turning into one big shit show.

ashesmart90

The first I had my mom, hubby and MIL. I didn't want my MIL but was kind of pressured and let her stay so my husband had support. (It was all natural so pretty intense as well) this time around I just want my H, and mom if she makes it, but my H is pushing me for his mom to be there again. We have already had a few arguments about it, but idk when it came down to it I was in so much can pain and so focused on breathing I didn't even notice what was going on lol My main issue now is my mom won't come if the MIL is there because she hates her so bad

xxkberxx

ashesmart90 said:

The first I had my mom, hubby and MIL. I didn't want my MIL but was kind of pressured and let her stay so my husband had support. (It was all natural so pretty intense as well) this time around I just want my H, and mom if she makes it, but my H is pushing me for his mom to be there again. We have already had a few arguments about it, but idk when it came down to it I was in so much can pain and so focused on breathing I didn't even notice what was going on lol My main issue now is my mom won't come if the MIL is there because she hates her so bad

I'm sorry you're having disagreements about your MIL. I personally wouldn't want my MIL in the delivery room with me either. However, if you decided to let her join you this time, I find it silly that your mom couldn't put aside her feelings and be there to support you like you're wanting.