Acupuncture DENIED -- please read! (MC mentioned)

kmartinez209

DH and I have tried on our own naturally for 10 years with not even a missed period on my part! We started off this year with IVF our first fresh in June ending in a BFN, so we waited the till my next period and changed a few things with our first FET I did all the warm foods, pineapple, Pom juice, Brazil nuts, warm feet, acupuncture a month prior as well as the day of the transfer and had been exercising for a few months prior to transfer also, we were very hopeful faith was strong, did our FET 8/20 and we got our BFP!! Sadly though it didn't last long I started spotting 3 days after beta and put myself into a state of constant worry, I cold turkey stopped acupuncture as well as Moxa treatment and I stopped walking for fear of MC which happened anyway about a week and a half after or BFP! So needless to say im still heart broken but wanted to jump right back in our first IVF round left us with 5 frozen babies after our failed fresh and MC'ed FET so we'd like to try 2 again so I started exercising again starting to eat better and I was recommended a different acupuncture office.... That was my background ^^ but this is my story and question of confusion... I went for a consult and treatment today I had already spoke to the acupuncturist last week almost 45 mins he knew exactly what I was coming for... I get in the room he comes in and starts asking questions we get into different topics and I explain I've been trying for 10 years I explain its male factor infertility he starts going into how my husband should be with me there doing treatment he should stop smoking and get his life together and get healthy and then we can come to the office together and he can help us concieve naturally, he then started to bad mouth the IVF process how all the children come out with problem that they are all born early and will have ADD and ADHD and im sitting here listening to him like WTF! I have frozen babies for a reason my husband has little to no sperm and they don't swim well wtf am I suppose to do, they he starts going on about vaccines and how they are horrible till the child is 2 he tells me his wife's best friend went through IVF had twins lost one and the other born at 30weeks he mentions he wants me to take time to think about all this and that with Chinese herbs his brother who had NO sperm was able to get his wife pregnant!! Omg wtf!! I wasn't there for all this!!! And at the end of the "consult" he tells me he's not comfortable treating me if IVF is what I'm going to do and when I get my life together then come back and see him and he will treaty husband and I!! I've never been so hurt so confused so pissed in my life then when I walked out!! Ohhhhhh and to top that off I had to pay $60!! For that BS!!! Ladies please give your insight on this and what your acupuncture treatments were like did you ever worry they weren't doing it right or doing enough? Did you ever seek another office? I left my old acupuncture office because I was told by another office they weren't doing it right and could cause a MC so I just stop and everything went to crap after that!.... Please help me with your advise ladies... Thank you

jnissa

I cannot even...

I'm so angry for you. I want to punch him. 

Listen, there are PLENTY of acupuncturists out there who work closely with the assisted reproductive community. My acupuncturist can speak as educatedly about stim drugs as my doctor and she knows every RE in town and where they work and what their operating philosophies are and how she can tailor treatment to best complement what they are doing. DO NOT LET THIS MAN DISCOURAGE YOU. Plenty of us have PERFECTLY HEALTHY ivf babies.  You *will* too. 

Did you trust your last office? Then go back there. If not, shop around. But don't let this nutjob who only brought you into the office to try to sell you on a holistic path get into your head. He hasn't earned the right to do that. And you deserve a supportive medical professional, holistic or otherwise. If he were a western medicine doctor, you (and we) wouldn't be thinking twice about telling you to seek another opinion or a suportive office. Same goes here. 

kmartinez209

@jnissa Thank you for the support, I honestly did trust them I enjoyed my time there but got a little discouraged because for the day of my FET I went with the local acupuncture office that specializes in Fertility which is within the same building as my RE, the Dr at the acupuncture office was very knowledgable she introduced me to Moxa and gave me very helpful information I explained to her the day of my transfer that I had never had the needles placed in my belly, she said oh wow well where were they placing them I explained to her that they were in my legs some im arms some in fingers some in ️feet or ankles and always in head and forehead, she became concerned that during the month I was going they never did then to my belly which in turn started to make me second guess the office I had grown fond of, after my transfer I went back and had the last treatment then went home about an hour 1/2 away 2 days later I went back to my acupuncture office that was in my town, I had been communicating with the dr at the acupuncture office by my RE's office and I explained to her how my acupuncture went that day, she said she wasn't feeling confident that they were putting them in the right spots and that if they were to put them in the wrong spots which im not too sure where those are they it can cause a MC so I freaked out and decided not to go back! Then 2 days later I started to spot and was a basket case until my reality came and smacked me with the fact I lost my baby. The man I spoke to today told me that because I stopped the acupuncture so quickly and stopped the Moxa that was the reason I miscarried. I don't have anyone in this stupid town I live in that specializes in Fertility Acupuncture I asked several times for a recommendation from the Dr next door to my RE and finally she gave me a referral for the guy I saw today so I'm so lost now! I felt so confident doing my treatment at the office I started with then I met that Dr next to my RE office and she made me feel confident because she had so much knowledge with fertility acupuncture but then she recommended this idiot from a a college she attends and teaches and I go to him have a horrible experience and now I don't know how I feel about her so im just lost right now, I've been having a lot of stress in my life these days with situations outside of my IVF and the acupuncture helped I just want to get back to that good feeling again that I miss im not sure which route to go or who to trust now!.... Thank you for listening (reading) my rant XoXo

ceclarlinetlo

I don't have an experience with acupuncture but I just can't believe the nerve of that accupuncturist you were referred to. I'm so sorry for your loss and for all the nonsense you've had to endure afterwards.

kmartinez209

@ceclarlinetlo Thank you for your kind words, I just want to get back to a good feeling I don't want to have all this stress and worry with my second FET I want the confidence I had with my first FET that was a BFP even though i

kmartinez209

OHHHHHH and another thing to add insult to injury.... He told me today at my consult when I explained to him im vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian I don't drink milk only almond or cashew milk I stay away from cheese or sour cream unless it's nut cheese or tofu sour cream and I do eat eggs but the are from a local farm I know of and I do it sea food im a little different I could go on all day about my non meat eating ways cause it's that deep but he basically stopped me in mud-sentence told me he can feel and see that my body needs red meat and that I should go to an organic store in my town and give it a try.... I've eaten meat ALL my life I stopped by choice for moral reasons and he was not happy about that told me that all the sub. Protein I was eating was going to effect hugely on my unborn child! Omg!!! I'm just so frustrated with this whole situation.... I can't stop second guessing my life right now I feel like I have all then negs and no positives......

Whiggrrl65

This guy is a nut job! I'm so sorry for all that you have been through. I can't believe they made you pay $60. That's absurd.
Maybe try to expand your search for acupuncturists beyond your immediate area. Sounds like you might have to drive a distance but it may be worth it if it makes you feel better.
Good luck to you.

GoldenKeys

OH. MY. GOD.

I totally had to take a breath to calm down before responding.  Like seriously, you need to report this guy! He is probably doing tremendous damage to other unsuspecting couples out there.   I have no idea which agencies look into this kind of thing, but this dude is a complete charlatan and he shouldn't be allowed to treat ANYONE!

I'm so sorry that you went  through this craziness.   I have not had acupuncture yet, but my RE says that he knows for a fact that it helps and has a list of providers to choose from.  Maybe you could mention your experience to your RE and ask for some referrals.

I'm sorry for your loss and wish you the very best of luck with your precious frosties...

kmartinez209

@kmetcalfe77 Im starting to think that might be my best bet, I wish I could just go back to the office I first started out with I was so comfortable there it almost makes me sad to think about it the woman who always did my acupuncture did a great job I never second guessed her until I went to the acupuncture office next to my RE, honestly I never would have left if i wasn't scared into leaving and I don't think she ment to scare me I think she was just worried I wasn't being given proper fertility acupuncture.... I'm waiting to speak with her about my awful experience that I had with the office she recommended....

kmartinez209

@GoldenKeys That's how I felt being in that room with him, with everything that kept coming out of his mouth I just wanted to slap him how dare he make such judgement it doesn't matter which form you concieve with you could end up with a child that had a problem regardless it's the risk you take making a living being with another human being it's just life, and for him to tell me that he is not going to treate because of MY CHOICE to go through IVF im still shocked I can't believe this happened, unfortunately my RE is an hour 1/2 away from my town and the only acupuncture office they rec. Is the one I went to in the same building as RE and dr at acupuncture office recommended this idiot I saw today she said she had nobody else to recommend in my county so I don't know what I'll do, honestly I want to go back to my original office im so comfortable there I felt great only problem is im a worrier so when I was told if the needles are Placed wrong I could MC idk what to do im so upset over this whole situation.....thank you for caring and responding XoXo

bookworm40

I have no experience actually doing acupuncture (just didn't feel ready for it), but have had a consultation and he was the sweetest most caring man besides my RE.  I am in shock at what you went through, infertility is hard enough emotionally, you should not have been scolded like a 2 year old for your choices in life.  Wow. I'm at a loss.  

as @goldenkeys said, I would report him.  Write to whatever board they are certified from and let them know your experience. I would also go on yelp or any other online forums in your area and make your voice heard, scold him the same way he did to you. Other couples in your area need to hear what this person has done.  We hear all the time about body shaming and bullying, well this guy certainly shamed and bullied you!  

Oh and.. PLEASE find a way to get your $60 back!!!! ugh.. what is wrong with people sometimes!

turtle148

@kmartinez209 This may seem like an odd question but I have a really good point with it. Have you considered filing a BBB complaint against him? The reason I ask is because you can specifically request the results you would like such as refunding $60 fee. He is not an MD nor a dietitian so he is overstepping his role by providing medical advice. The complaint would also show up in the BBB complaint listings and help others avoid him. I used to deal with our companies BBB complaints and it was a big deal. Mainly because it was bad for future business. If you need assistance filing it let me know. I would love to take this jacka#$ down a notch for how he treated you.

misshopeful1

@kmartinez209 I saw an acupuncturist twice. She is somewhat abrasive. She's all about vegan, gluten free. Yet when I asked her why some overweight people have several kids she couldn't say why that happens. She did say to worry about myself and this was the universes way of telling me to change!
WTH?! I was so offended and sad. I haven't been back since.
Diet is important but I refuse to agree that a sandwich or burger is preventing me from being a mom.
I would say keep looking until you find someone more compassionate.

susykat77

That is BS. I would call the office and tell them that you want a refund as you were not treated. I have had a lot of acupuncture and absolutely love my acupuncturist. They can have some odd ways about them though. Sorry you went through that!