Everything I read said if you get stitches, you'll be too overjoyed with LO to even notice. F all the readings. Lies. Lies everywhere.
They took a seemingly looong time to stitch me up, and I felt every injection and every stitch. At one point the doctor said, "Just look at your baby now." Good thing I was too out of it to think of the German words to swear at her.
Everything I read said if you get stitches, you'll be too overjoyed with LO to even notice. F all the readings. Lies. Lies everywhere.
They took a seemingly looong time to stitch me up, and I felt every injection and every stitch. At one point the doctor said, "Just look at your baby now." Good thing I was too out of it to think of the German words to swear at her.
Agree. Thank god that with LO, I didn't feel any of that, but I also had way less physical trauma.
@virginiaunicorn11 When I read your birth story, I felt like that was me the first time around. I wanted to go drug free, my body is made for this, you just have to breathe the baby down, etc etc. Lies, all lies. Let's stop the charade and admit it's rough and not guilt trip anyone for wanting pain relief. No amount of LED candles or aroma therapy will distract you from labor.
I'm pretty sure I didn't open my eyes the entire time I was in the delivery room because the pain was blinding. When a contraction came, I wanted as complete silence as possible because the sound of anything made the pain worse. And pushing, omg, the pushing...
@virginiaunicorn11@Sammy K it's great to hear your opinions on this. When I have a patient that tells me she is committed to natural birth I do my best to stick to that, and support her physically, mentally, and emotionally through that. It's totally common to hit the "I want drugs now" at transition (8-10cm) and I often internally struggle with keeping the drugs from them because they've told me when they came in that they want to go without. I don't ever want to be the nurse that kept drugs from a patient but I also don't want to give in and get the epidural for the patient that wants to go natural so bad and is in the craziness of transition. It's really hard as a nurse. I think I'm going to start implementing a "safe word"-- I'll tell them they can scream how much they want the drugs but to really use the safe word when they are positive they want the epidural. But my most common phrase is "there's no prize for a med-free birth. We don't give out medals with the baby". Why suffer if you know you are into the drugs to begin with? (All of this is hypocritical as SHIT because I still struggle with guilt and defending my epidural, as a L&D nurse).
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
I went totally natural. ..I did have a 2 word safe word for drug administration but didn't use it.
My water broke first (at 515am) and then contractions started but they weren't that bad like bad cramps or like I was hooked up to a electro stimulus machine a little too high.. I was able to eat a bagel for breakfeast, take a shower and do my makeup before shit got real at like 10am. I pictured each contraction like a wave and rode them by bouncing on my ball and moaning. I was doing fine until I got to the hospital and had to lay in the bed for the initial monitoring. That killed me and stalled things and made contractions so much more painful. I was finally able to get in the tub and that was heaven. I remember them not as sharp pain but as a complete tightening of everything between my chest and knees like a really strong stim machine and being in a vice. I also puked with each contraction until they gave me Zofran at the hospital. I also needed fluids for dehydration from puking all day in labor. I remember pushing, I hated it. It freakin hurt like I was pushing a kid out my hoohah. It was so bad I basically went into shock and passed out, I remember losing consciousness during pushing. I also remember the feeling of being stretched out, that's when I passed out. I awoke and gave a final push and only remember feeling a wet, slimy alien with too many body parts slide out of me. I had a third degree natural tear, thank god for shock and your body's natural pain defense, haha. But then I had to have local anesthesia for the stiches so that wasn't fun but at that point i was like, "I don't care" because i was holding my baby. I took the pain meds they gave me later on, I'm not totally crazy
@virginiaunicorn11@Sammy K it's great to hear your opinions on this. When I have a patient that tells me she is committed to natural birth I do my best to stick to that, and support her physically, mentally, and emotionally through that. It's totally common to hit the "I want drugs now" at transition (8-10cm) and I often internally struggle with keeping the drugs from them because they've told me when they came in that they want to go without. I don't ever want to be the nurse that kept drugs from a patient but I also don't want to give in and get the epidural for the patient that wants to go natural so bad and is in the craziness of transition. It's really hard as a nurse. I think I'm going to start implementing a "safe word"-- I'll tell them they can scream how much they want the drugs but to really use the safe word when they are positive they want the epidural. But my most common phrase is "there's no prize for a med-free birth. We don't give out medals with the baby". Why suffer if you know you are into the drugs to begin with? (All of this is hypocritical as SHIT because I still struggle with guilt and defending my epidural, as a L&D nurse).
I was unprepared, and I joke about wanting drugs next time, but I'm actually not sure. I knew about transition in theory, but I didn't REALLY know. It wasn't until after delivery that I realized I'd asked for meds at transition. And it wasn't because I needed them for the contractions I was experiencing - the reason I got the epidural was they were going to give me Pitocin, and I got scared the contractions would get worse. They did not end up giving me Pitocin - they were understaffed and another woman's emergency c-section meant I was left alone for 2 hours after they administered the epidural. So the epidural wore off and I felt delivery, med-free. The upside was that I was able to rest for two hours while the epidural was working.
Knowing all of this now, I think it means I could have gone completely med free, and I could do it next time...but now that I know what labor feels like with an epidural, I'm not sure what the point is in refusing it.
As I type this all out, I see I am both saying I could have gone med free and may do so next time, and am also praising epidurals and saying I want it earlier next time. So who knows.
I think if someone had talked to me about the fact that I was in transition and what that meant... I don't know. But I wish I'd had that knowledge at the time. Maybe I wouldn't have chosen differently, given the Pitocin "threat." If no Pitocin was mentioned and someone said, "You are in transition, this is as bad as it is going to get (though it will stay like this for an hour or two), and it means the end is in sight" then I probably would not have gotten the epidural. Or I would have thought of it differently. Hindsight being 20/20 and all.
Money was tight at the time, and I didn't want a birth prep course to scare me. Knowing what I do now, I think I would hire a doula for next time. I thought it was too Special Snowflake before, but now I think that support would have been invaluable.
@virginiaunicorn11@Sammy K it's great to hear your opinions on this. When I have a patient that tells me she is committed to natural birth I do my best to stick to that, and support her physically, mentally, and emotionally through that. It's totally common to hit the "I want drugs now" at transition (8-10cm) and I often internally struggle with keeping the drugs from them because they've told me when they came in that they want to go without. I don't ever want to be the nurse that kept drugs from a patient but I also don't want to give in and get the epidural for the patient that wants to go natural so bad and is in the craziness of transition. It's really hard as a nurse. I think I'm going to start implementing a "safe word"-- I'll tell them they can scream how much they want the drugs but to really use the safe word when they are positive they want the epidural. But my most common phrase is "there's no prize for a med-free birth. We don't give out medals with the baby". Why suffer if you know you are into the drugs to begin with? (All of this is hypocritical as SHIT because I still struggle with guilt and defending my epidural, as a L&D nurse).
I went into labor with the mindset that I had absolutely NO QUALMS about asking for drugs. I do not want to go thru a really painful event if there is a way to safely be comfortable. But I also wanted to see how far I could take it, as I thought then (and still do) that I have a fairly high pain threshold. The beginning of the really painful contractions may have been transition for me. They did check to see how dilated I was before administering my 'take the edge off' meds, but I think they figured since I had been progressing so slowly they didn't check me before the epidural (or they forgot, or whatever). Once the epidural was in place, they checked me and I was at 9 or 9 1/2. I think its very possible I skated in and got the epidural after the 'cut off' of 8cm. I remember hearing her say 'oh wow she's at 9 - 9 1/2' and thought to myself 'holy shit, I almost missed the epidural, I almost waited too long'. So, that said, I feel like I *might* have been able to make it (mostly) med free, if I could know in advance that pushing wouldn't take very long ('just deal with this pain for half an hour and then you'll be done'). For me, pushing did take long tho - over 2 hours. So I'm still glad I got the epidural because there's NO WAY I would want to continuously feel that pain and be pushing for that long. I mean, we all knew we have no idea how long any one part of giving birth is going to be, you can't count on any part of it sticking to a schedule, but knowing now (in hindsight) that I was going to be pushing for that long anyway, I probably would have just gone ahead and asked for the epidural a little sooner, actually. I guess I had it in my mind that once you started to push everything happened fairly rapidly, but not so for me.
I actually told my nurses to just be straightforward with me with regards to pain control because I wasn't committed to any type of 'plan', and when discussing the 'edge off' meds vs an epidural she actually told me the same thing about pushing. Something along the lines of 'you may be able to ride the contractions out with just the injection, but there is no way to know how long you will be pushing, and I can only administer this medication for a 2 hour dose, and usually its not as effective after the the first time, so you could be pushing with no pain control at all for who knows how long'. I didn't feel like she was pushing me to get an epidural at all, just giving me a realistic idea of what could happen. But then again, I also didn't have med free as my plan, and had been communicating with my nurses on a 'just keep me educated' level the whole time, so she knew that I wasn't going to feel like I was being pressured and thus was able to be frank with me.
Pitocin didn't seem that bad but I do know the nurse had to come in and turn it off at some point. But I will admit even if I wanted an epidural it wouldn't have happened. By the time they were causing me discomfort, my body had gone from a 6 to a 10 in less than 30. I honestly felt like the dr tricked me. She told me she got off at 8 a.m. and lo was born right at 8.
I had close severe contractions from 7 am after losing my mucus plug until 230 when I got my epidural at 6 cm which was a godsend !! Although now I can't make myself feel a contraction bc obviously it was so painful our minds block it out but I remember how severe the back labor was...felt like the worst imaginable period cramps of my life that came in waves and peaked where I wanted to just throw the f up! All I wanted to do was have silence and stay completely still during the waves of them and the nurses or doctors would come talk to me and I honestly would just stare at them like are u serious right now?!! Ur gunna ask me something in the middle of a contraction!!!! But ultimately once I got an epidural I was golden and pushed out a 9 lb baby !
I had a safe word with DS but I was fully dilated by the time we got to the hospital. I know that my experience is absolutely NOT normal; most FTM push longer than my entire labor was.
I would highly recommend a doula if you want a natural birth. DS's birth would have been a complete shit storm if we didn't have one.
And I believe any woman CAN deliver med free. For me, the decision to get an epidural the second time was that I wanted to enjoy the first few minutes with LO on my chest, no be consumed by pain.
For me, the decision to get an epidural the second time was that I wanted to enjoy the first few minutes with LO on my chest, no be consumed by pain.
Oh, interesting. Good point. My PP pain was not well managed, and I definitely had a delayed bond with LO. That all makes more sense to me now, after reading your point. Thank you!
For me, the decision to get an epidural the second time was that I wanted to enjoy the first few minutes with LO on my chest, no be consumed by pain.
Oh, interesting. Good point. My PP pain was not well managed, and I definitely had a delayed bond with LO. That all makes more sense to me now, after reading your point. Thank you!
I was in so much pain pp even though I had an epidural (I guess a forceps delivery hurts enough to feel through it!) that I had to hand LO over to DH for skin to skin to get more meds (he wasn't quite expecting it)! I wish that part had gone differently.
It's interesting to bring up post-delivery pain. I really wanted to go med-free but I regretted the decision for a moment this time because I felt so bad (pain & exhaustion) after delivery that I didn't feel like I could hold LO. Going med-fee had the opposite effect with my first. I was riding a huge high and felt great. I was lucky to have great care this time, I remember asking DH not to take his hands off LO because I was scared to hold him on my own and saying to my nurse, "I am not okay, I need something for the pain right now" Everyone really listened to me. We started with IV ibuprofen and that ended up being all I needed.
I do wish I hadn't experienced this birth med-free but hindsight is 20-20 and I wouldn't have made any choices differently. I delivered both my sons sunnyside up so contractions were irregular and stacked with lots of back labor. What made this time so rough was stalling out at the wrong time. Got hospital at noon, doctor arrived by 1pm, warmer was set up and we expecting a baby by 2pm. I stalled at 8.5-9cm for over 5 hours with some contractions lasting over 15 minutes. HORRIFIC. The most painful post partum issue was a sore throat from screaming. It took over a month to heal and for my voice to be normal. My son had (and still has) a 9cm welt on his head, it will apparently be a permanent part of his anatomy.
But in the end I had a baby and that honestly does make any amount of pain worth it. And the terrible pain was only 5-6 hours of my life. I knew what I was getting into. If this had been my first I could see how it could lead to some PTSD and inabilities to move past the experience.
Mine was (luckily?) purely period like pain for the entire time - it just got progressively worse. I get super bad period pains before pregnancy, but usually just take neurofen and deal with it, but couldn't do that in the hospital! if anything, the pain just reduced me to tears, and only got to the 'shouting' stage for the 30 minutes after my water broke. He came out head and arm first (which spun him around while coming out) which was the only part which honestly made me scream cos it tore pretty bad. The last thing you want after the 'most painful part' is a MORE painful part
Re: What would you say if someone asked you? ***pregnant ladies strongly discouraged from opening this!
They took a seemingly looong time to stitch me up, and I felt every injection and every stitch. At one point the doctor said, "Just look at your baby now." Good thing I was too out of it to think of the German words to swear at her.
@virginiaunicorn11 When I read your birth story, I felt like that was me the first time around. I wanted to go drug free, my body is made for this, you just have to breathe the baby down, etc etc. Lies, all lies. Let's stop the charade and admit it's rough and not guilt trip anyone for wanting pain relief. No amount of LED candles or aroma therapy will distract you from labor.
My water broke first (at 515am) and then contractions started but they weren't that bad like bad cramps or like I was hooked up to a electro stimulus machine a little too high.. I was able to eat a bagel for breakfeast, take a shower and do my makeup before shit got real at like 10am. I pictured each contraction like a wave and rode them by bouncing on my ball and moaning. I was doing fine until I got to the hospital and had to lay in the bed for the initial monitoring. That killed me and stalled things and made contractions so much more painful. I was finally able to get in the tub and that was heaven. I remember them not as sharp pain but as a complete tightening of everything between my chest and knees like a really strong stim machine and being in a vice. I also puked with each contraction until they gave me Zofran at the hospital. I also needed fluids for dehydration from puking all day in labor. I remember pushing, I hated it. It freakin hurt like I was pushing a kid out my hoohah. It was so bad I basically went into shock and passed out, I remember losing consciousness during pushing. I also remember the feeling of being stretched out, that's when I passed out. I awoke and gave a final push and only remember feeling a wet, slimy alien with too many body parts slide out of me. I had a third degree natural tear, thank god for shock and your body's natural pain defense, haha. But then I had to have local anesthesia for the stiches so that wasn't fun but at that point i was like, "I don't care" because i was holding my baby. I took the pain meds they gave me later on, I'm not totally crazy
They did not end up giving me Pitocin - they were understaffed and another woman's emergency c-section meant I was left alone for 2 hours after they administered the epidural. So the epidural wore off and I felt delivery, med-free. The upside was that I was able to rest for two hours while the epidural was working.
Knowing all of this now, I think it means I could have gone completely med free, and I could do it next time...but now that I know what labor feels like with an epidural, I'm not sure what the point is in refusing it.
As I type this all out, I see I am both saying I could have gone med free and may do so next time, and am also praising epidurals and saying I want it earlier next time. So who knows.
I think if someone had talked to me about the fact that I was in transition and what that meant... I don't know. But I wish I'd had that knowledge at the time. Maybe I wouldn't have chosen differently, given the Pitocin "threat." If no Pitocin was mentioned and someone said, "You are in transition, this is as bad as it is going to get (though it will stay like this for an hour or two), and it means the end is in sight" then I probably would not have gotten the epidural. Or I would have thought of it differently. Hindsight being 20/20 and all.
Money was tight at the time, and I didn't want a birth prep course to scare me. Knowing what I do now, I think I would hire a doula for next time. I thought it was too Special Snowflake before, but now I think that support would have been invaluable.
So, that said, I feel like I *might* have been able to make it (mostly) med free, if I could know in advance that pushing wouldn't take very long ('just deal with this pain for half an hour and then you'll be done'). For me, pushing did take long tho - over 2 hours. So I'm still glad I got the epidural because there's NO WAY I would want to continuously feel that pain and be pushing for that long. I mean, we all knew we have no idea how long any one part of giving birth is going to be, you can't count on any part of it sticking to a schedule, but knowing now (in hindsight) that I was going to be pushing for that long anyway, I probably would have just gone ahead and asked for the epidural a little sooner, actually. I guess I had it in my mind that once you started to push everything happened fairly rapidly, but not so for me.
I actually told my nurses to just be straightforward with me with regards to pain control because I wasn't committed to any type of 'plan', and when discussing the 'edge off' meds vs an epidural she actually told me the same thing about pushing. Something along the lines of 'you may be able to ride the contractions out with just the injection, but there is no way to know how long you will be pushing, and I can only administer this medication for a 2 hour dose, and usually its not as effective after the the first time, so you could be pushing with no pain control at all for who knows how long'. I didn't feel like she was pushing me to get an epidural at all, just giving me a realistic idea of what could happen. But then again, I also didn't have med free as my plan, and had been communicating with my nurses on a 'just keep me educated' level the whole time, so she knew that I wasn't going to feel like I was being pressured and thus was able to be frank with me.
Edited, I missed a word
Ha
I would highly recommend a doula if you want a natural birth. DS's birth would have been a complete shit storm if we didn't have one.
And I believe any woman CAN deliver med free. For me, the decision to get an epidural the second time was that I wanted to enjoy the first few minutes with LO on my chest, no be consumed by pain.
I do wish I hadn't experienced this birth med-free but hindsight is 20-20 and I wouldn't have made any choices differently. I delivered both my sons sunnyside up so contractions were irregular and stacked with lots of back labor. What made this time so rough was stalling out at the wrong time. Got hospital at noon, doctor arrived by 1pm, warmer was set up and we expecting a baby by 2pm. I stalled at 8.5-9cm for over 5 hours with some contractions lasting over 15 minutes. HORRIFIC. The most painful post partum issue was a sore throat from screaming. It took over a month to heal and for my voice to be normal. My son had (and still has) a 9cm welt on his head, it will apparently be a permanent part of his anatomy.
But in the end I had a baby and that honestly does make any amount of pain worth it. And the terrible pain was only 5-6 hours of my life. I knew what I was getting into. If this had been my first I could see how it could lead to some PTSD and inabilities to move past the experience.