I think cloth diapering has its benefits but after hearing my mother tell me what a disgusting hell it was I've changed my mind. Disposables for the win .
For the record, cloth diapers are entirely different now. If it's really something that interests you, I'd do a bit more research. They're nothing like the ones our parents used! lol
My friend Ann used cloth diapers ( super cute ones ) for about 6 months with her little girl and had some positives and negatives she shared with me . It's still a big nope.
We originally went with CD for the monetary factor with #1, but after doing even more research, we only used disposable if we *absolutely had to*. They hold more pee and you can chuck them (and stink up your house/garage) are about the only benefits over cloth diapers. Just thinking about all the chemicals and junk in the disposable diapers really skeeves me out, not to mention how horrible they smell (even before the kid pees/poops in them). Just... no thank you. And honestly, try wearing some disposable underwear (poise/etc) and see how comfy they are vs. your regular underwear (or just think of what it's like to wear a pad). So much more uncomfortable.
BFP 5.21.12 ~~ Born 1.28.13 BFP 8.14.15 ~~ Due 4.22.16
Not flaming .. But my prom date has downs and also became prom king that year due to his positive and witty attitude. He works with other kids who are younger with downs and has made the world a better place. To each their own tho . I just wanted to share my experience
If I get genetic screening and the baby has Downs, we will not continue the pregnancy.
Why?
Cause I'm not a good enough person to raise a child with Down Syndrome. I would resent the kid.
Also, I would feel bad about what it would do to my DD's life.
Would you not consider adoption?
No. I would selfishly not make myself go through the torture of prolonging the experience.
ETA: Also, there are many children already in this world in foster care looking for a loving home, and it would be wrong to take a family away from one of them.
Not flaming .. But my prom date has downs and also became prom king that year due to his positive and witty attitude. He works with other kids who are younger with downs and has made the world a better place. To each their own tho . I just wanted to share my experience
That's wonderful. I'm not saying that people with Downs cannot be wonderful people, or valuable members of society, or that they shouldn't be around, or that abortion would be right for every Downs pregnancy, but if I can avoid putting that extra strain on myself and my family, I will.
Oh don't be jealous. I'm disgusting. I've just been feeling like such hell I am scared I'm gonna wobble in the shower (freaking head rushes). I shouldn't go more than2-3 days without washing.
I bought one of those shower chairs 2 weeks ago. #noshame When I stand up in the shower I barf. I'd be lying if I didn't say there is copious amount of dry shampoo in my hair right now.
@imrachellea@shawnacrest@MamaRoni omg haha - my husband and I (and his siblings that know) are all in agreement that their other brother and his wife are to find out as late as we can get away with. The attention always has to be on her and they will find a way to make this less special for us. They keep doing the will we won't we about having another kid (the whole family is in agreement it would be irrisponsible ... )they have his-hers-theirs already and they DON'T need another. Anyways, everyone is afraid she will find out I'm pregnant and BAM so is she lol. My husband is the baby of the family and its It's his and my turn lol
I really miss taking long flaming hot showers so right before I get out I turn it way up for 2 seconds to get my fix . I know the heat can be bad but I miss it so much.
Hah, thanks, but I don't think they're flaming, just having a dialog.
I knew this would start discussion, but I wanted to "come out" as pro-choice since I have seen a lot of threads which say "of course I would never terminate..." and I felt a little alienated since I would.
@imrachellea@shawnacrest@MamaRoni omg haha - my husband and I (and his siblings that know) are all in agreement that their other brother and his wife are to find out as late as we can get away with. The attention always has to be on her and they will find a way to make this less special for us. They keep doing the will we won't we about having another kid (the whole family is in agreement it would be irrisponsible ... )they have his-hers-theirs already and they DON'T need another. Anyways, everyone is afraid she will find out I'm pregnant and BAM so is she lol. My husband is the baby of the family and its It's his and my turn lol
I think that's part of the reason I'm not that happy about it. I could tell how disappointed my fiance was when he heard.
@imrachellea@shawnacrest@MamaRoni omg haha - my husband and I (and his siblings that know) are all in agreement that their other brother and his wife are to find out as late as we can get away with. The attention always has to be on her and they will find a way to make this less special for us. They keep doing the will we won't we about having another kid (the whole family is in agreement it would be irrisponsible ... )they have his-hers-theirs already and they DON'T need another. Anyways, everyone is afraid she will find out I'm pregnant and BAM so is she lol. My husband is the baby of the family and its It's his and my turn lol
Ha flame free confessions aren't always flame free. In this case, people were just asking questions. I was genuinely just curious for her reasoning.
Hah, thanks, but I don't think they're flaming, just having a dialog.
I knew this would start discussion, but I wanted to "come out" as pro-choice since I have seen a lot of threads which say "of course I would never terminate..." and I felt a little alienated since I would.
I appreciate your honesty. My husband and I are in the same place. It's not a decision to be made lightly but is one that is understandable to me.
If I get genetic screening and the baby has Downs, we will not continue the pregnancy.
I have worked in disability services for many years through college, graduate school, and into my career. Some of the most enriching, humbling experiences in my life have occurred in interactions with a variety of amazing individuals with special needs.
Even then, some days I wonder if I would actually be able to handle it if it happened to me. No, I would not terminate a child with a DS dx, but there are other severe diagnoses that scare me to my bones. I'm sorry that you feel that way, but by UO, I do believe that you have the right to make choices for yourself and your family.
TL:DR - It's easy to want to flame another person for making a potentially life-altering choice regarding a situation that you've never had to face.
If I get genetic screening and the baby has Downs, we will not continue the pregnancy.
I have worked in disability services for many years through college, graduate school, and into my career. Some of the most enriching, humbling experiences in my life have occurred in interactions with a variety of amazing individuals with special needs.
Even then, some days I wonder if I would actually be able to handle it if it happened to me. No, I would not terminate a child with a DS dx, but there are other severe diagnoses that scare me to my bones. I'm sorry that you feel that way, but by UO, I do believe that you have the right to make choices for yourself and your family.
TL:DR - It's easy to want to flame another person for making a potentially life-altering choice regarding a situation that you've never had to face.
I would rather have a kid with Down's syndrome than autism. I've worked with both but the Autistic people I've worked with were much more difficult and had worse behaviors. I personally feel strongly that I wouldn't terminate a pregnancy, but I've also never been faced with a confirmation of genetic disease or been pregnant at 16. What works for me doesn't necessarily work for everyone else and I think that's really the beauty of being able to have intelligent dialogue.
Also, I have a midterm tomorrow that I haven't studied a lick for. Instead, I left work after 2 hours today, signed my lease, got my animals set up in the new place, got a slushee from 7-11 and pizza from dominoes. Ate it in bed. No shame.
I'm pro choice as well. Not 100% decided on what would happen with DS (probably terminate), but if it was one of the other trisomys or something like Tay Sachs then we absolutely would.
Also from a societal outlook, individuals with Down's syndrome ARE a burden. They cost money in health care costs and public services.
I don't know a single Down's parent who considers their child a burden on society and I don't consider my friends daughter that either, she's the happiest kid ever, but the fact remains. Not saying I agree or disagree, just wanted to I've a point of view.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
Oh don't be jealous. I'm disgusting. I've just been feeling like such hell I am scared I'm gonna wobble in the shower (freaking head rushes). I shouldn't go more than2-3 days without washing.
You're kind of my hero right now. I was feeling too embarrassed to post! I've become the master of dry shampoo and teasing my hair.
@brenlo42 I used to feel exactly the same as you. I didn't think that I could care for a child that might never be able to care for itself. But I'm older and my views have changed. I still don't think I could do it by myself. But my spouse, parents, and my In-laws make me feel like I could take on the world. It's still terrifying! But hubby is set in bringing this baby into the world regardless of baby's health.
I've never really thought of myself as "pro choose". Having dealt with infertility for years I thought terminating was selfish ( I could adopt your baby and be happy!). But your post has opened my eyes.
I am pro choice. As long as you're educated before you terminate. Thank you for your comment.
Another point to bring up is that pro choice doesn't mean you would personally have an abortion. It just means you agree that it should be legal for women/couples to make their own choice.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
I also would not continue a pregnancy with a down syndrome baby or a CF baby. I am not getting down syndrome screening though since I don't believe I am at risk but I am doing a CF screening. I would not want to make someone suffer from CF. It sounds like a horrible life.
I'm sorry but I just feel like saying that you don't want to raise a child with DS so you would abort is such a selfish decision... And selfishness just doesn't go hand in hand with motherhood in my book. I understand the challenges and have seen first hand from a friend whose baby was born unexpectedly with Downs Syndrome (which was NOT detected in the ultrasound NT scan/screening, she was only 31, etc.) It was a hard transition but they love that little boy so much. It just makes me sad to hear stuff like this. You would resent your child? You're only willing to parent if a child is a certain way? The way you want him or her to be? Sorry, I can't. That's just not what motherhood is to me. Being a parent isn't conditional. And even if your child doesn't have Down Syndrome, he or she could end up with any number of other conditions, disorders, diseases, etc, down the road. What , will you just reject and abandon the child then? At what point does this child that you decided to create become your responsibility regardless of whether he or she meets your expectations of what a child should be like?
Amanda
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
I guess people have very different opinions of what is more selfish: having a baby knowing it will suffer from a horrible disorder and not live a normal life, or not having it at all. This is why it's so controversial. Personally I think motherhood and selfishness totally go together. I think having a baby at all is selfish.
I feel the same. Parenthood is an eternal burden when you have a child with special needs. Many people seek to find the positives and fulfillment from that life. They believe it's part of God's plan. Having children in general in selfish when there is so many foster children who need homes, so the argument that "not wanting a child with a genetic disorder is selfish" is ridiculous. I appreciate your honesty. It's your right and your choice. The fetus won't know any different.
I'm sorry but I just feel like saying that you don't want to raise a child with DS so you would abort is such a selfish decision... And selfishness just doesn't go hand in hand with motherhood in my book. I understand the challenges and have seen first hand from a friend whose baby was born unexpectedly with Downs Syndrome (which was NOT detected in the ultrasound NT scan/screening, she was only 31, etc.) It was a hard transition but they love that little boy so much. It just makes me sad to hear stuff like this. You would resent your child? You're only willing to parent if a child is a certain way? The way you want him or her to be? Sorry, I can't. That's just not what motherhood is to me. Being a parent isn't conditional. And even if your child doesn't have Down Syndrome, he or she could end up with any number of other conditions, disorders, diseases, etc, down the road. What , will you just reject and abandon the child then? At what point does this child that you decided to create become your responsibility regardless of whether he or she meets your expectations of what a child should be like?
A large part of the reason I feel this way is because, selfish or not, I am already a mother. With my first pregnancy, I did not opt for any additional screening beyond the anatomy scan, and I was happy and excited to have my baby, however she came. Now that I have a child with an established life, and I know what it takes to raise a - so far - developmentally normal child, my opinions have changed.
Another big factor in my decision to have additional sceeening is the fact that since DD was born, I have watched two aquaintences go through heartbreaking situations where the baby was not compatible with life, and they both chose to carry the baby to term and watched their infant die in hours. This is not something I feel I would be strong enough to go through (and Down Syndrome is not the only scenario where I would terminate, just one that is controversial).
I agree that being a parent is not conditional, and if something arises with my DD, or this baby, I won't love them any less. I will stand by and support them however I need to, but I also don't believe I am a parent to this new baby at this point. I am a parent to my DD, and I feel that knowingly bringing a sibling with Down Syndrome into this world would dramatically and negatively affect her life.
Of course, this is all speculation, as if I were in the situation I could change my mind. At this point, I think this is where I stand and I hope I never have to find out for sure.
Just to add my $0.02 as a token person with an actual real-life developmental disability here (I'm autistic): raising a child with a disability is HARD. Life as a person with a disability is HARD (although I wouldn't change a thing about myself now that I'm an adult and know how to use my strengths to overcome my weaknesses). And many of the things these tests screen for can be severe, some even deadly very, very early, and I know it would be an unbelievably difficult decision if we got an unhealthy result on any of our tests. And even if my standards for what constitutes a pregnancy I don't want to continue are different, I would never judge someone for their decision to honestly say they're not up for the challenge.
Obviously, I'm glad I exist. But just because we all know inspirational stories and kids who make it and live full, normal, successful adult lives (Hi!) doesn't mean you have the right to judge anyone else's choices in this hard, hard decision. They might not be that lucky person with the barely-affected child. You don't know, and it's not your life or your call.
Ok, rant time: this guy we know and his girlfriend announced on Facebook a few weeks ago that they're expecting a baby in April. Her due date is the day before mine, so they announced to the world at 5 weeks. Now I feel like maybe they stole my thunder a bit because we have many mutual friends, and then on the other hand I'm concerned that I'll steal their thunder when I announce next month (at 13 weeks). I also am baffled that they had an ultrasound and professional photos taken by 5 weeks. End scene.
I eat all the deli meat I want. And cookie dough. Who has ever actually gotten sick from these things? The risk is so so so freaking low- totally worth t to me!
Sushi is allowed ladies. It just has to be from a reputable place (like not a gas station perhaps unless you're in Hawaii). Raw or cooked doesn't matter just stay away from high merit fish and limit seafood intake to once a week ish.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
Sushi is allowed ladies. It just has to be from a reputable place (like not a gas station perhaps unless you're in Hawaii). Raw or cooked doesn't matter just stay away from high merit fish and limit seafood intake to once a week ish.
You may take away our wine, but you will not take our sushi!!!!!
I've been skipping prenatals 2-3 times weekly because they always make my nausea horrendous. Even the gummies make me bellyache - although I think that's a texture issue.
I am first from DH family to have kiddo on the way. Number 6 from my side of the family. I do not like attention and am quite independent. I hate being the 'oh let me help you' type. I'm usually nice. Confession: DH family bugging me with the niceties and the constant fussing. People bugging me much quicker and not sure my poker face is working.....
Just to chime in on the DS conversation, we are doing NT scans and any additional scans to ensure the baby does not have a chromosome issue. If we do find out there is a problem, we will terminate as well. And it is a scary and horrible thing to think about and to be honest something I feel horrible for. For us its not that we would not love or adore the child (to me loving a child is the easiest), its scary to think about what this would mean financially for us and how this would impact our existing family. And I know that doing these scans does not mean that the child will not have any other issues and that there are no guarantees in life anyways. We have similar opinions to those expressed by others on this board as well. I understand that this opinion may be viewed as being selfish, but in some ways we are thinking what about what this would do to our existing child and what we have as a family. We have friends that have special needs children, one with downs and two with CP and we see what it does to their lives. Of course they love their children, but they have a lot of challenges not only for the one that has special needs, but also for their other children. And we worry what would happen to a special needs child once we age to a point where we cannot care for it (whether its death for us or just aging). We are already older age at this point. I know there are options like adoption, but I worry about the burden that would place on the system and if someone would even adopt a child with special needs. I don't think its an easy decision and each individual has to do whats best for their family, whether that be raising a child with special needs or making a decision to terminate.
I recently started asking my SO to go to McDonald for me and order a McChicken with no Mayo..add mustard and white cheese...i don't usually like Mustard.
Re: FFFC!
BFP 8.14.15 ~~ Due 4.22.16
ETA: Also, there are many children already in this world in foster care looking for a loving home, and it would be wrong to take a family away from one of them. That's wonderful. I'm not saying that people with Downs cannot be wonderful people, or valuable members of society, or that they shouldn't be around, or that abortion would be right for every Downs pregnancy, but if I can avoid putting that extra strain on myself and my family, I will.
@imrachellea @shawnacrest @MamaRoni omg haha - my husband and I (and his siblings that know) are all in agreement that their other brother and his wife are to find out as late as we can get away with. The attention always has to be on her and they will find a way to make this less special for us.
They keep doing the will we won't we about having another kid (the whole family is in agreement it would be irrisponsible ... )they have his-hers-theirs already and they DON'T need another. Anyways, everyone is afraid she will find out I'm pregnant and BAM so is she lol. My husband is the baby of the family and its It's his and my turn lol
I knew this would start discussion, but I wanted to "come out" as pro-choice since I have seen a lot of threads which say "of course I would never terminate..." and I felt a little alienated since I would.
Even then, some days I wonder if I would actually be able to handle it if it happened to me. No, I would not terminate a child with a DS dx, but there are other severe diagnoses that scare me to my bones. I'm sorry that you feel that way, but by UO, I do believe that you have the right to make choices for yourself and your family.
TL:DR - It's easy to want to flame another person for making a potentially life-altering choice regarding a situation that you've never had to face.
Also from a societal outlook, individuals with Down's syndrome ARE a burden. They cost money in health care costs and public services.
I don't know a single Down's parent who considers their child a burden on society and I don't consider my friends daughter that either, she's the happiest kid ever, but the fact remains. Not saying I agree or disagree, just wanted to I've a point of view.
I used to feel exactly the same as you. I didn't think that I could care for a child that might never be able to care for itself.
But I'm older and my views have changed. I still don't think I could do it by myself. But my spouse, parents, and my In-laws make me feel like I could take on the world. It's still terrifying! But hubby is set in bringing this baby into the world regardless of baby's health.
I've never really thought of myself as "pro choose". Having dealt with infertility for years I thought terminating was selfish ( I could adopt your baby and be happy!). But your post has opened my eyes.
I am pro choice. As long as you're educated before you terminate. Thank you for your comment.
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Rhys - born 04.17.2013
Harry - born 04.18.2016
Another big factor in my decision to have additional sceeening is the fact that since DD was born, I have watched two aquaintences go through heartbreaking situations where the baby was not compatible with life, and they both chose to carry the baby to term and watched their infant die in hours. This is not something I feel I would be strong enough to go through (and Down Syndrome is not the only scenario where I would terminate, just one that is controversial).
I agree that being a parent is not conditional, and if something arises with my DD, or this baby, I won't love them any less. I will stand by and support them however I need to, but I also don't believe I am a parent to this new baby at this point. I am a parent to my DD, and I feel that knowingly bringing a sibling with Down Syndrome into this world would dramatically and negatively affect her life.
Of course, this is all speculation, as if I were in the situation I could change my mind. At this point, I think this is where I stand and I hope I never have to find out for sure.