Boyfriend question/concern

ahill1889

This probably seems like a stupid question, I know, but this is the first relationship I've had since I left my ex-husband 4 years ago, and I don't know what to do.

I love my boyfriend, and my boyfriend loves me. Unfortunately, he is completely indifferent to the kids. We have been going out for a little over 5 months. He has spent more time with the kids over the last month give or take, but before that was an hour or two once or twice every few weeks at most. Is the indifference at this stage something to worry about? He has told me several times that he has an abnormal level of indifference in many areas; and since I know a lot of people with mental/emotional issues I've been trying to let things progress slowly and smoothly. Some of my friends don't think he's moving fast enough emotion-wise, so they are flipping out and are telling me to leave him.

I'm not sure what to do. When he's around the kids, he engages them and makes an effort to play with them and talk to them. He just doesn't feel anything towards them. Is this something I should worry about; or something I should just give time to see where things go?

20thirteen

Hmm.. This might be a good question for the Blended Family forum. 

But your relationship is still relatively new, 5 months. I'd give it a little more time, but that's me. Also, how old are the kids?

ahill1889

They are 3 and 5. I actually talked to him over the weekend, and he told me he likes the kids, he just doesn't care whether we do things with or wothout them. He's perfectly happy with it just being the two of us doing things. But, he does like the kids and does enjoy spending time with them most of the time.

20thirteen

Glad to hear.  Like I said, it's still a relatively new relationship and if he has never had kids, it might not be easy for him to get into the swing of things when the relationship is still so fresh.

lubaTO

I don't have my son yet, but I can appreciate how you feel. You probably want him to already love your kids and want to be very involved with them. 

But it's true, the relationship is still new, so give it some time. I think pushing it might just leave you disappointed and sad. Things will probably fall into place with time, and the more he gets to know you and your family. Take it slow, let the couple-relationship develop more and with time you can figure out how you want to involve the kids.