Hi everyone, I've been lurking around and decided to introduce myself and share my story.
I've been pretty active on the Baby Center forum but not so much here and it seems there's a bit more single parents and parents to be on here
I am from Canada and currently 19 weeks pregnant with a BOY
My boyfriend and I had only been together for 2 months when I found out I was pregnant, which was a huge shock. We had an accident and I took a Plan B pill but yet here we are! I'm 28. He's 33. Both at good jobs. We've been having many issues and conflict of personalities but overall he was supportive and we planned moving in together. I was and still am in love with him and he has a lot of great qualities I want in a mad. Unfortunately things got progressively worse as we are navigating the relationship and the pregnancy (he is a big Alpha male personality and was very jealous of ex's and guys around me, even though I have been completely loyal to him) and a month and a half ago told me he doesn't want to continue and we're over. His reasons were that he doesn't trust me, he thinks I am a feminist who doesn't want to take care of a man and overall doesn't think we can be happy together.
I was devastated and still have a hard time dealing with it.... It has gotten a little easier, especially now that I'm in the second trimester and feeling better physically. But the emotions are crazy and SO hard to control.
I am a strong person and have been through a lot (family deaths, a divorce from my high school sweetheart 2 years ago, lots of moves, etc). I have a great job and a great support group. I am moving in with my mom at the end of this month so I can save a bit of money and also for the help I will surely need. i know things will be OK but I can't help it - all I want is to be with BD ... I can't imagine dating other people, and how complicated that will be. I dread dealing with visitaions, CS, courts, etc... I have this hope in my head that we'll get back together, and I hate myself for feeling so weak and dependent.
BD and I still talk almost daily, we see each other (sleep over and all that), go to movies. He wants to help me move and also wants to buy all the baby gear together. He has a child already and keeps saying he doesn't want to be a weekend dad. He wants a family. But he is firm on his belief that we are not good together and he doesn't want to "forgive me" for the alleged things I've done, which I think were all a product of his own insecurities.
I need some advice on whether or not I should continue harboring this hope that he will change his mind. Or should I let him go as a partner and only have him involved as BD? the back and forth is very hard emotionally but the times we talk and see each other feel so good (agh I feel bad even writing this).