MIL pushing me to pump

Madisson

really frustrated with my MIL pushing me to pump so that she can start babysitting. I understand that it's really exciting to have a grandchild but don't laugh at me when I tell you that current recommendations say that if you can, not to start pumping until 4 weeks.. She made a sarcastic comment saying something like "oh no how did we all do it back in the day when we had to go back to work!? How are you not all dead?!" Plus even when I do have a stash of milk pumped I don't want to tell her as I don't want her thinking it means there's nothing stopping her from taking the baby.. Anyone else having this issue? How did you deal?

Starynightsky24

When my in laws make such comments I always respond with, "just because we survived doesn't mean I'm not doing it the new found BETTER way. I mean why don't you just throw away your smart phone too.. You survived without that". But I'm mean lol.

To answer your question though, It's YOUR baby. No one can take her without your permission. Just tell her you're not ready to let her go and end it. Better sooner than later. I can't believe she would give you so much grief when she's still so young anyway. No way would I let someone babysit my 4wk old right now

JNOVA2015

My mom did this (and alternately suggested i supplement with formula even though LO was gaining weight perfectly). It annoyed me, but I jut ignored her and did what I wanted. She isn't local, but thought she'd get more time holding LO during her 2 week visit if she could feed him. When she brought it up I just said "you know we are getting breastfeeding established, and I'm not giving him a bottle until 3-4 weeks. You decided you wanted to visit in his first 2 weeks to help, and since I'm focused on bonding and breastfeeding the help I need is laundry, cooking, and cleaning."

We had this conversation about 5 times in the two weeks she and my dad were here - it was annoying! Not to mention if I HAD wanted to give him a bottle I would have had DH do it so they could bond...

prpl11butterfly

I don't want MIL to know that I'm pumping for the same reason. My mom is babysitting next month so I can go to a friends housewarming party. I didn't like the thought of MIL babysitting before but the other day she told DH that she's having some health issues that they can't solve (involving a migrane for 6weeks non stop) and she needs to make changes to her insurance policies and will so now its out of the question. If there is something wrong that's that bad, no way is it safe to leave an infant with her.

hcook321

JNOVA2015 said:

..."you know we are getting breastfeeding established, and I'm not giving him a bottle until 3-4 weeks. You decided you wanted to visit in his first 2 weeks to help, and since I'm focused on bonding and breastfeeding the help I need is laundry, cooking, and cleaning."

We had this conversation about 5 times in the two weeks she and my dad were here - it was annoying! Not to mention if I HAD wanted to give him a bottle I would have had DH do it so they could bond...

Gosh can I relate! I've gotten so tired of explaining to everyone, including DH, that no, I can't leave LO for DH or family to watch because we're EBF and not pumping yet due to oversupply issues. It's like they can't comprehend this. Plus, it's not giving me any breaks by family saying they'll watch baby so I can go grocery shopping or run errands. Those are the last things I want to do! I need to be at home BFing and bonding with my baby, not out running errands or cleaning. Argh!

SassetteSmurfling

"When we need you to babysit, we'll ask."

Seriously I don't understand why grandparents feel so damn entitled! Even if you had all the milk in the world or were giving formula or whatever, doesn't give anyone the right to take your baby. It makes me so angry.

Madisson

I think I'm trying too hard to be nice and not step on anyone's toes. You ladies are totally right, when we want a babysitter we will ask. I completely agree, the help we need right now is someone to cook us a meal and drop it off, offer to change a diaper or tidy up, grab us groceries, etc.! Not hold the baby.

Miz_Liz

My almost deaf, very forgetful 93 year old grandmother who has a hard time even walking has been asking to babysit since DS was born 3 years ago. She wanted to be added to the day care list so she could pick him up. Now I just say, "Ok thanks!" when she says she will watch them anytime.

cseley321

Bleh, we've been trying to get someone to babysit for a week now so I can go out for dinner or something but everyone declined. I'm going stir crazy here but we don't want to risk taking her out before she has had her vaccinations

dev85

Thank God my MIL is 3 hours away! When she came to visit she thought I would have a bottle for her to give DS. No! There is no reason to give him a bottle when he can get it fresh! Good luck with your current situation!

LittleFox2015

We started to introduce a bottle so dh can feed him at his late night feeding so i can get some sleep for when i go back to work in two weeks. (Yay 5 am shifts) when MIL asked to feed one i told her my stash wasnt good enough for more than that one bottle at night. When she suggested I just wake up to feed l.o. that night so she could feed him now i handed her the pump and informed her if she wanted to feed him a bottle she had better pump one herself.

I am so sick of people acting like they should just be able to do whatever and tell me how to be a mom. I honestly dont care how you did it when dh was a baby. I really just want you to go away. That would be great.

TamarraL

I have a similar situation and completely understand ur fustrations. My excuse was that baby didn't like the bottle teat and kept spitting it out until I'm more comfortable with having her away from me. My baby girl is only 3 wks old and I'm not ready for someone else to babysit or do anything for her as a matter of fact except my hubby of course. I have bad anxiety issues lol. [-X