Joining you who Get it!

childcaremama

Hello! Think I'm finally posting in the right place. Introduced myself on trying to get pregnant but I consider us TTTC at this point so wanted to join here too, hope that's ok. I saw the snarky and T~TTC board first so I posted there, a little confused on what that board is now since this is TTTC... Anyway here's a little about me.

I went off BC in Feb of 2014. January 2015 we started using the Fertility Friend App to track my cycle, intercourse, temping, etc. DH and I are so ready for a baby! Last month I had a really hard weekend after BFN. It's hard knowing I'd be having a baby right now if it had worked first month. I'm surrounded by pregnant friends who, no joke two had accidents and two got pregnant first month off BC. They can't understand because they laugh and say they were so surprised, it happened so fast, etc. My other friends are far off from having kids and say things like "why do you want a baby so bad anyway?" If it's ment to happen it'll happen and don't try, just don't think about it. Its very frustrating. I haven't talked to anyone except DH about it in months. Its nice to talk to people who understand. Reading the boards has helped already.

GoldenKeys

Welcome to the board, and yes, we do get it!  Have you considered getting testing with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE?)

riveridgional

I had a similar experience as you, especially regarding friends who don't really want you to have kids. Several close friends were very unsupportive of our decision to even try to get pregnant. For example, we assumed we would get pregnant instantly just like others we knew, so we didn't make our annual vacay plans with my friends. When it turns out pregnancy wouldn't be an issue for the trip, we mentioned how we were thinking of booking the trip. My friend shouts, "You changed your mind about getting pregnant? Thank God!" I said, no, we haven't changed our minds, I just haven't been able to get pregnant. She just said, "Well, crap. See, you aren't going to be able to do anything now that you want kids." I haven't talked to her too much since those comments.

I feel like I've lost a few friends since this process started, but I guess it's for the best that I can see their true colors now and don't have to worry too much about making an effort to maintain their friendships once our baby(ies) make their (very) fashionably late appearance!

Edited because autocorrect makes me sound like an idiot sometimes. I am not liking my phone update. How does "able" get turned into "Blessed"?

childcaremama

Riveridgional ~ Yes better you find out now. I stopped talking about everything TTC related to friends at this point, except occasionally my bestie. I love your comment about your baby(ies) fashionably late appearance, great attire attitude!

GoldenKeys ~ Our insurance doesn't cover any infertility testing

yellingbanana

Totally get it! I also thought its be quick, and I'm now surrounded by friends/colleagues that are pregnant or have a newborn. They just keep making announcements!
I held off getting a teaching job and opened a daycare instead so that I could take care of my newborn that I'm supposed to have. Note to self..... Don't open a daycare while having trouble TTC!
I've also stopped talking about TTC with my friends, just pretending like it's not even happening. My mom knows, but it's kind of an akward subject anyways, especially when she suggested standing on my head afterwards.
But in the end, does it really matter how long it takes if we can manage to get through this? Good luck, and welcome to your support community!

childcaremama

Yellingbanana I run an in home daycare as well! Left nannying and started it so that I'd be all set for being pregnant (not commuting, able to have a sub come for doctors appointments, etc) and able to be in my home with my baby, etc. I hope it pays off for us both soon!

lily55d

I agree it's a good idea to see a RE. I thought I was the only one who felt that way 9 months into TTC. What you described, I could have a baby by now but have nothing, is just an awful feeling. Big hugs! 

yellingbanana

Lol, childcaremama! I can't believe I didn't figure out that you are in childcare by your username! My brain is so done at the end of the day!

twomommiestobe

@childcaremama even if your insurance doesn't pay, call around and get pricing for testing. Our RE does all the testing including a sono for $350. My boss is a dr (and also did ivf) and said look for a research hospital. They are cheaper and don't care about "success rates" as much just helping you get pregnant.

And I'm not sure if you have tried this, but REALLY look into your insurance (someone at the RE office can help too). We thought it couldn't be covered, but turns out some might be. Even if ins denies, we can afford the $350 to get an idea of how to proceed.

AnnieR81

I may be in the minority here b/c i've always known I was going to have a hard TTC when I was ready to start family.

However, I can totally relate to everyone else around me getting pregnant - sometimes by accident.

Keep your head up. Fashionably late might be just around the corner.

childcaremama

@twomommiestobe this is so helpful, thank you! I'll do some more calling around! Also DH's work might be changing insurance in November so I'm really hoping that'll happen and work in our favor!