Variation on diaper raffle

bride9735

My mom wants to do something similar to a diaper raffle at my baby shower only thing is we are cloth diapering so I don't need a huge stash of disposables. Is there anyway to do it so that I can get donations toward my cloth diaper stash without it coming off as rude or tacky.

Note: I plan on purchasing the apple cheeks kit from the itsy bitsy bums site

wassuphoes

I find diaper raffles tacky to begin with. 

Since you are planning to cloth diaper, I would politely decline the offer of a raffle.

OliveOyl2014

There is no way for it to come off as not rude or tacky since you are essentially asking for either cash or gift cards. On top of whatever gift your guest is already bringing you. I agree with pp, best to just decline.

CharminglySouthern

There isn't a way to ask for extra gifts that isn't rude or tacky. Nope.

bride9735

That's what I thought. I think I am just going to decline.

MyCousinVinny

Agree with PPs.  

I would also add cloth diapers to your registry, if you have one.

Sassenach1743

Agree with PPs. Diaper raffles are tacky. Asking for specific things (i.e. books instead of cards, donations or gift cards to diaper or day care services, etc.) in addition to a gift is even tackier. 

I also think cloth diapers and all the accoutrements that go into cloth diapering are more expensive and can be somewhat more confusing for your guests... If you must, include these items on your registry (if you have one) and leave it at that. 

Gingermom15

I registered for a single cloth diaper and an insert instead of making an announcement that we were cloth diapering. I don't expect anyone to buy it, but it's there so hopefully people will get the idea. I hate for people to spend their money on disposables when I already have a huge cloth stash. Ultimately, people gift what they want and if I end up with a bunch of disposables I'll still be super happy. We plan on using disposables until he's into size 1 (washing meconium poop out of cloth? Ew). The rest will likely be donated to a shelter, so they will be put to better use then if they were to sit in my closet.

ChiccoBeanz

Clarifying question: What is the difference between putting cloth diapers on the registry vs the diaper raffle? Isn't that still considered asking for them as a gift? Also, couldn't a guest just buy the cloth diapers and that be their gift, or is it rule that they have to come in with multiple gifts if there is any sort of raffle or well at the shower?

Sassenach1743

ChiccoBeanz said:

Clarifying question: What is the difference between putting cloth diapers on the registry vs the diaper raffle? Isn't that still considered asking for them as a gift? Also, couldn't a guest just buy the cloth diapers and that be their gift, or is it rule that they have to come in with multiple gifts if there is any sort of raffle or well at the shower?

A diaper raffle is usually something extra that is done... it's a buy in for a prize of some sort for the guests to participate in and is usually seen as a shower activity so it's not meant to be the main gift, which is why it's rude (IMO). 

Think about it, you get an invitation to a shower with registry info (I'm okay with registry info on a shower invite, as it's the giving of gifts that is the basis of the shower itself, so why not give your guests a peek at your personal baby shopping checklist. Although, some people feel this is also rude because you shouldn't tell people how to spend their money, etc.), then you are asked to bring diapers for a raffle, and a book instead of a card.... do the math. You've just been told to spend more money than you normally would have because the host is telling you to bring diapers and a book, neither of which are necessary, in addition to a gift. This is why it's rude.

A registry, in essence, is a checklist for you. I don't feel that sharing your registry info is directly asking for said items (some people see it that way though). Instead, I feel that it's a way to indirectly share your preferences with your guests. Not everyone will want to buy from the registry and that's fine. Some people prefer to see a registry so they know what to buy. It's just a preference. 

ChiccoBeanz

@brita722 thank you for clearing that up. I can understand how such requests can be seen as rude. I just wanted to make sure I understood why and the perspectives. I'm pretty laid back in the baby shower dept and I will always do what works in my budget for the gifts. So, I just don't get offended by some of these things, but your response helped me see why others would.

PrimRoseMama

bride9735 said:

My mom wants to do something similar to a diaper raffle at my baby shower only thing is we are cloth diapering so I don't need a huge stash of disposables. Is there anyway to do it so that I can get donations toward my cloth diaper stash without it coming off as rude or tacky. Note: I plan on purchasing the apple cheeks kit from the itsy bitsy bums site

Diaper Raffles, all by themselves are tacky. So no, there is no way to specify what kind of raffle you would like in lieu of disposables. Personally, I don't care for even disposable diaper raffles. Generally, you don't tell your guests what to get you. Before you go in on how registries are "telling folks what to get"-- stop, they are not. They are suggestions and not telling anyone anything.

Register for cloth diaper items (the inserts, the little bamboo sheath sheets). Make it a prominent aspect of your registry.

If your mom wants to do something akin to a raffle perhaps have something fun for the guest to decorate-- maybe decorate their own onesie or something for baby to wear. That would be fun for all and you get to keep the keepsakes.

Also, if you get disposables don't freak. You can keep some in your diaper bag for emergencies-- you can donate some to women's shelters. I can't tell you how many cloth diaper mamas have used my emergency stash in the diaper bag when they were out of covers or had a day of blowouts.