Should I be concerned? — The Bump
Baby Showers

Should I be concerned?

im currently 26 weeks, due Dec. 14th. Two of my close friends offered to throw me a baby shower when I first told them I was expecting (I was 8 weeks). Neither one of them have mentioned anything since. I know they are both busy people but it's starting to concern me that as I enter the third trimester nothing has been planned or even further discussed with me. I would have liked to have a shower in October before people get busy with the holidays. What do I do? Is it rude to just come out and ask?

Re: Should I be concerned?

  • I don't think it's a big deal to mention it in a tactful way. Something like, hey I know you said you wanted to host a shower. If the offer still stands, let me know what dates you had in mind so I can make sure I am available. Something to that effect.
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  • fwtx5815 said:
    If it were me, I would not bring it up again. IMO they would have already begun planning something if they intended to follow through with this. Their circumstances may have changed and it might be a sore subject if money is tight (though ideally they would be upfront and honest about it). I look at it this way: if a friend said they were giving me a certain gift in the near future and I never got it, I wouldn't follow up and say "hey did you forget you said you were giving me a present?" I just don't think there's a tactful way to broach the subject. I'm sorry you're dealing with the uncertainty.
    This.  In the moment of hearing the exciting news of your pregnancy, they may have wanted to throw you a shower but as time passed, they realize that they couldn't or their circumstances have changed.  Bringing it up, even in the most tactful way, could lead to hurt feelings or a sense of obligation on their part.  I believe, it's best not to say anything, as it would be the same thing as doing the bolded.  Or it could be a surprise, you never know.

    I would just try to focus on your pregnancy and let the cards fall where they will fall.  
  • Do you have any family that would be willing to host? If so, maybe you could casually mention that your family was planning one in October and wanted to make sure it didn't conflict with any plans they had. Then that might wake them up or let them out easy and they can play dumb like they never made an offer. I agree with PP I would not come right out and ask.
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  • Thank you all for the feedback. I've had a few people ask me when my baby shower is and have told them I don't know so maybe one of them will end up offering. I know my husbands side of the family is having a family shower for me so maybe I can sneak a few friends into the invite list as well
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