Preparing 1st Child for the 2nd

ariasbabyblog

I ran a search and didn't find anything, although honestly my searches never seem to find anything.

DS is currently 2.5, so almost 3 when this baby arrives. We point out that there is a baby in mommy's belly and he has felt the baby kick, but I honestly don't think he really gets that there is an honest to god baby in mommy's belly. I've just purchased a "I'm a big brother" book which we intend to read to him and also a doll to be his baby, but I know there has to be more we can do. 

What are you doing/have done to prepare your other child(ren) for the arrival of the new baby? Any tips and tricks would be helpful. Thanks!

62406

I'm curious about this too so I'm anxious to see what others say. Our DD will be 4.5 when her sister arrives. We talk about the baby every night and she seems really excited about it.

apinkpelican

DD will be 20 months so she's not going to understand as much as your kids but we are doing the same as you so far (books, kiss belly, baby doll).
I'd also start to have them help you with little tasks and talk about how much they'll help with the new baby arrives. But maybe that's already part of your talk. DD likes to 'help' with things already at 15 mos.

Cejiml

DD is 3 this weekend. We talk about brother coming and she talks to the babies she sees now. I will take a sibling class in November. Other than that she doesn't get there is a baby in my belly but she knows brother is coming sometime lol. I don't think she'd will really get it though until he does get here.

BarrettJ89

My step daughter will be just shy of 9 when this baby arrives, but my son will be between 12 and 13 months... No idea how to prepare him. With both "babies," we've tried to assure my step daughter that we still love her and that she is important. We got her a big sister book and talked with her frequently. We even asked her what she might be scared of or worried about when baby arrives. She knows that there will likely be times we need her help, especially when one of us is working. She has handled it really well, so far.

saraellenM

I think it's important to tell them its their baby so they feel included. I always refer to it as "your baby" or "our baby" to my daughter. I don't want her to feel left out, so making her a helper and telling her all the things she will be able to do with her brother gets her excited. She will be almost 6 when the baby is due. I also signed her up for a sibling class at the Birth Center in November.

ariasbabyblog

I've looked at the Sibling classes, but I really wonder if DS is too young for those. Aren't they for older (5+) kids?

mamakculb

My son will be 2.5 when little sister is born. We have done what pp have done and bought big brother books and a doll and talk a lot about the baby. It helps we have a newborn nephew to kind of use as an example. He's a great helper normally anyway, but I'm sure there'll be some jealousy when DD is born.

I think the best thing is to talk about baby as much as possible and to make plans for activities when you may be busy nursing and stuff for older sibling to do. I have some quiet time boxes for him and plan to use those and the iPad for some special play time.

l4rk

I was looking this up for my SS, who will be 12. Granted he's older, so i have been involving him and also answering any questions he asks (even if they are awkward questions about breast feeding or maternity bras!) But the best advice I have seen is to just pay attention to your kids. Show an interest in them, talk to them about whatever and show them that they are still important to you. Getting dad to watch baby for 15 mins each day and giving your kid your undivided attention will go further than any gifts, ploys, etc.

Note: SS lives with us full time and I am essentially his mom.

SunshineBaby26

My stepson is turning 4 right before the baby arrives, and we tell him everyday about his baby brother or sister. He seems really excited, and he understand that there's a baby in my belly, but I still don't think he really understands.

We started moving furniture into the baby's room, and painting, and when we saw that there were toys that were not for him, he started to act up and he's been misbehaving in order to get attention. I think it's starting to hit him, but I don't think they can really understand until it becomes a reality. All you can really do is show them and include them, that way when it does hit them, they are at least prepared. An of course remind them every day how much you love them, and that a new baby will never change that.

blessed2bemommy

Ds turned 3 in July and since we had the positive test we have been telling him about the baby. I'm sure there's more we can do, but this is what we've been doing so far.....he goes to all prenatal appointments with us (so he has gotten to see the baby at each appointment on an ultrasound since I am seeing a high risk doctor), we talk about her regularly (not pushing it just when he brings it up mostly, but if he hasn't recently I'll just slyly say something about her), we've been getting big brother books from the library, we talk about the changes to his bedroom so his sister can use his old crib (it's a toddler bed now and he's getting a big boy bed next month), we tell him how he is a big brother now and all the stuff he can help us with when she gets here, and pretty much just keep it exciting when we do talk about it.
It seems to be working so far lol he kisses my belly and talks to her (usually all on his own and without any asking from dh or I), he checks in on her with me lol, he asks when she can come out and play, and he even has started telling strangers in the stores that Hannah is coming soon
I don't know if any of that helps as more ideas or not, but it's what we've been doing here and he seems to be responding well to it so far. We will see how he likes it when she's here for good lol

BeccaMichele91

My son was actually the first person I told... even before my fiancé! He will be almost 3 when his baby sister is born, so about the same as you. We talk about it a lot with him and talk to the baby with him. He totally gets that he is going to be a big brother, but I'm still worried about the jealousy aspect of being an older sibling. We do have a newborn nephew, but they don't live close enough for my son to see him often. Plus, my sister in laws MIL yelled at my son for looking at the baby in the bassinet... So we'll see what happens! But really I don't know what to do besides what I'm already doing and maybe reading some books or going to a class? I hope you find something that helps! Let me know if you do!

Bunnumber4

One thing that has helped with my kids (especially when theybarenlittle) so they don't feel slighted is to talk about all the things they can do that the baby can't (oh my goodness, look at how big you are. The baby won't be able to help me wash dishes but you can!) it seemed to help make them still feel special and less like they were being replaced. I also would tell them a lot of stories about when they were babies. Honestly though, so much of it just has to be muddled though depending on how they react once the baby is here

blue**eyes

@ariasbabyblog the sibling classes at the hospital near us are offered for two different age groups and the younger group starts at age 3. We will be going to that class with my DS who will be almost 4 when baby arrives. I think he already understands that a baby is coming. We have good friends that had two sons close in age and so he has seen them as an example and gets the concept of a little brother/sister.