Do people say this to you?

Brusher

maybe I'm being overly sensitive.....

A few people over the holidays have said this to me when we went visiting: "They (meaning my kids) look great." 

I usually just agreed with them or said thank you. I'm sure they mean well

BUT this statement is bothering me for a few reasons

1. I start to question, What are my kids supposed to look like? Were they expecting something else? Were they expecting weak, frail children? yes, they were born early and yes I am grateful they have no long term disabilities but they look like healthy toddlers to me, why point it out when you don't say that to someone who had a full term baby.

2. This statement just sends a knife to my heart as it is a reminder that yes my body wasn't able to make it to full term. The guilt just rises in me again.

just wondering if any other preemie moms get this.

 

gymrat

YES!! It bothers me so much. I hated it when people would say how "healthy" they looked when they would first see them. My inlaws were the biggest offenders of that. They STILL make comments about my daughter all the time about how much she has "changed." They viewed her as the "weaker" and "sicker" one for a long time because of her feeding issues and her 2nd hospital stay.

lstaylor73

yes, i feel this way every day.

AviatorJJ

Rowen is almost 2 and i still get this. but i try and not let it get to me, it is a compliment. and i have to remember that there was a time that he didn't look so good and boy has he come a long way.

SuwaneeGirl

Yes, people who know she was a preemie will say this.

And yes, I think you are being overly sensitive.

Just accept the compliment and resist the urge to over-analyze!