New to this Board (loss mentioned)

Teenie16

(XPost) 

Long story short:

Both my BF and I are 41. We were TTC for 15 months before we got our BFP. We were so excited to be expecting a little boy. At my 20 wk anatomy scan we found out he was measuring only 17wks and I had low amniotic fluid. The told us to come back in 2 weeks, which is when we found out he no longer had a heartbeat. I had to wait to be admitted to the hospital and delivered him 4 days later. Copper was born 7/25/15. 

My OB told us we could start trying again right away, My acupuncturist told me to wait 2 cycles, My BF want's to start again asap... AF showed up 1 month to the day after and here we are trying again. Not sure if I'm emotionally ready, I know time is not on our side, so I have to be ready. 

I look forward to both giving and getting support from all you lovely ladies this time around.

(Sorry it wasn't as short as I had intended)

LilLambie

If you dont feel ready you shouldn't. You want to be able to enjoy pregnancy and new baby and if you are still caught up in Cooper's loss then that will be hard. Good luck with everything

vintagevice

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also struggled with whether or not I was emotionally ready to start trying again after my miscarriage. My age and how long it took us to conceive was also putting pressure on my decision. The grieving process takes time. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself all the time in the world to let yourself heal. Big hugs to you.

MamaBish

I am so very sorry for your loss. It's so heartbreaking. Our dr told me to wait 3 months before trying again after delivery at 28 weeks, and at first, I thought I would never want to try again. But at the end of those 3 months, I changed my mind. If you aren't ready, wait a bit. It might be good for you mentally.

Best of luck!

roadspeckle

Big hugs. I'm so sorry.

Teenie16

Thank you ladies and I am so sorry for your losses too. 

@LilLambie - Thank you so much. I'm so sorry if I made it sound like I was still so distraught. Yes I am still sad about losing my LO, which I don't think will ever go away for any of us. But I don't want to regret waiting too long and missing out on my chance to have another child. I hope I will be able to enjoy my next pregnancy no matter when it happens. We thought we were out of the woods after the 1st trimester then everything happened out of nowhere a couple months later. I think I'll just be on edge for the whole 9 months no matter how perfect every dr appointment goes. So I'm going to try and be as positive as I can during this journey. And I know this board and all you ladies will help me/each other  through it. The ladies on the TTC+35 board were so supportive and helpful for me the first time around so I believe I will have a similar experience this time too.

@vintagevice - Thank you. I think I'm probably exactly where you were. My age, how long before we conceived and the idea I have stuck in my head that I should still be pregnant now are what are weighing on my mind about trying again. Ultimately my age was the biggest deciding factor for me to start again.  I know I still have some healing to do and it will happen over time.

@MamaBish - Thank you. Do you mind me asking why he told you to wait so long? Right after I had in my head that I'd never be in the mindset of wanting to try again too... I'm glad to hear that it didn't take you that long to be comfortable with it.  That sounds like a reasonable time line. 

@rackleroo - Thank you so much

MamaBish

@teenie16 I think they told me to wait the three months because I was so far along. They said my body needed time to "reset" and get back to normal before it would be best able to carry another child. They told me to keep taking my prenatals to replenish the vitamin stores that my body used up during the pregnancy. 

Teenie16

@MamaBish - that makes sense. My OB told me to keep taking my PN vitamins too, and gave me an Iron supplement too. I've read other women say they too were told to wait. So that sounds normal to me. I'm still not sure why mine said I didn't have to wait at all... And since we were so unhappy with my doc throughout we're switching to a different one from now on. Thanks for the info. Good luck to you.