Attachment Parenting

Baby shower twice?

We are having our second baby and according to my mom you only get one shower and it's with your first. My husband says nope, you get one with every baby. What do you think??

Re: Baby shower twice?

  • Hahah. Good question, we're expecting a second, too. Personally, I think you really only get one big one with the first baby. I hope to have a small party, and if there would be gifts, maybe limit it to things that got used up with the first baby?? (Diapers, wipes, toiletries, clothes?)
  • I've been told you only get one "shower" unless it's been like 10 years between kids. But you can have a "sprinkle" and just get the things you would no longer have.
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  • OP, there are some good threads about this in the Baby Shower board.  There actually is an answer, according to etiquette standards.  Showers are intended to welcome a new parent to parenthood and to shower the guest of honor with gifts.  It's considered bad form to have a shower for a second child (even if it's a different sex, long time in between, etc.) as the recipient is no longer a new parent.  Some have the opinion that it's fine to have a shower for a 2nd child if the father is different from the first child as he may indeed be a first time dad.  I have no experience here so am slightly ambivalent on that.  

    Lots of people do them though and if someone offers to throw you one, it is totally up to you to accept or decline.  I personally would not have a shower for a 2nd child.

    If you want to celebrate the baby, you can host a tea/luncheon/brunch/whatever after the baby is born so your friends and family can meet your LO and not feel obligated to bring a gift as they would at a shower.  Many will bring gifts regardless but it's nice for guests to have the choice rather than being solicited for gifts by being invited to a shower.  

    Long story short, 2nd showers are indeed considered tacky in polite society.  
  • My best friend had a "sprinkle" for her second child. It was a very small get together with only family and a few close friends. Invitations were sent out but asked that no one bring gifts. If someone really wanted to do something they were asked to only give diapers. The biggest reason for the "sprinkle" was to celebrate her DD becoming an older sister (she was 3 at the time). It was a very nice, low-key get together.
    Celtic Ember
  • edited September 2015
    You could host a sip & see but no registering. ;)

    I'm all for a shower for one boy & one girl. After that if a friend offers I'd only accept a sprinkle-with 10 or so guests. I'd do a sip & see with no expectation of gifts after that.
  • I'm all for the get together, not a full on shower. Our family and friends will use any excuse for a gathering though.

    The get together should be a no gift thing, but people will likely still bring something, that's what Iv'e seen. 
  • Your Mom is right. 

    Or perhaps more accurately, if your Mom is saying showers are one and done, there's a big chance that other people in the community your Mom lives and associates in believes the same. And further, that your peers from a similar community were raised to believe the same thing. If you yourself are unfamiliar with people having multiple showers, then it is not done in your social circle, and being the first to do so could cause some side eye and judgement from your friends, family and peers. This isn't even touching that someone, seemingly from a community that does not do second showers, would have to offer to host one for you.  

    Plenty of people want to celebrate the baby, be it by visiting with you or giving you a gift for the baby. You could host a sip and see once the baby is born and you are comfortable having guests around baby. 
    Off topic, @wassuphoes this was THE best and most polite response to this question that I have ever seen in this community. That was awesome, but you are my favorite etiquette person on here. Actually, the only one I like.

    OP I think wassuphoes explained it perfectly. Is your husband from a different community or culture? That may explain his different opinion.
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