Another baby

SUNshin322

Hi all. I have a beautiful three month old and don't want another child for two or three years, but having strted my family makes me think about it's future and it continuing to grow. I would like to have two or three more kids as I have always wanted a big family. However my boyfriend claims he never wants another child and one is enough. This is very hard for me to hear. However I understand it's hard and a lot of work with a new baby and it's hard to think of another, but it still makes me sad as I really want more. I'm hoping maybe after two or three years have gone by and he sees how much easier it gets e will change his mind. Anyone else going thru the same thing or have a husband who felt this way than changed his mind eventually?

justkeeptrying

DH and I always said we wanted two kids. He was quite traumatized by the birth and now says he just wants DS and no more kids.

I mention it every once in a while but am not pushing it. We wanted our kids about 3 years apart so we wouldn't be trying for a second for a couple of years. I'm not going to stress about it until then and hope he's changed his mind by then.

lestes1121

Give them time. It will change. Or life will happen. I thought DHs and I would never have another after our first. 5 1/2 years later the Lord had other plans. I still don't understand how in the world we ended up pregnant but I am so happy to have my newest addition with us now and couldn't imagine life without her!! It now makes me want another. Which I have actually talk my hubs into but waiting another year first.

Buckles0528

I'm going to give you point of view from the other side. I wanted 4 kids but after a crappy pregnancy and emergency c section now 3 months of zero sleep I want him to be it. Right now its just way too hard to even think about walking my dog let alone having another baby. Give him time to get used to this one before even discussing a second. A lot can change in a year.

DMEL

Hey OP- didn't you have a conversation about family size before you started a family with this man? Did someone change their mind?

mb1383

Things get better but they might also get more difficult. It depends on the age and stage of ur child. My oldest just turned 3 and becuase of LOs arrival he is acting out. Waking up at night, hitting etc. all
To get attention. We are trying to make the transition as smooth as possible. As parents we always find a way to adapt to our childrens needs, no matter how challenging

erin79

Immediately after having a baby is not the best time to decide whether you want more. Ha. I remember after having my first, I thought, "WHY WOULD ANYONE HAVE MORE THAN ONE OF THESE?!?!" And then he turned 1 and I thought, "Let's have 3 more!" You never know how you or your partner will feel a year from now.

SUNshin322

DMEL said:

Hey OP- didn't you have a conversation about family size before you started a family with this man? Did someone change their mind?

My baby was an unexpected surprise, I'm only 21 so we hadn't had any conversation about it yet

SUNshin322

Thanks for all your feedback everyone! I don't bring it up because it's still so early and soon after our little one was born, but it is in the back of my mind

DMEL

Well since you asked I'm gonna give my advice. Don't rush anything. You had a baby unplanned with a man you didn't discuss having babies with. Let your relationship and family evolve before having another.

ali0608

DMEL said:

Well since you asked I'm gonna give my advice. Don't rush anything. You had a baby unplanned with a man you didn't discuss having babies with. Let your relationship and family evolve before having another.

What she said. You are 21. You have plenty of time to figure this out.