Pregnant after a Loss

Cautious Intro and What would you do?

Hi Everyone, 

Sorry in advance that this is so long! I have been checking in on this group for a little over a week now but needed some time to work up the nerve to introduce myself. I was previously from the November 2015 group but had a mmc in late April. We found out around 8 weeks that the baby stopped growing at 6w1 and the heart probably stopped shortly after. I had a D&C on May 1. After a month of waiting and a couple of months trying I got my BFP (YAY!) last Sunday! According to my LMP I should be 5w4 today and finally got my hCG results - 5,099. I am so overwhelmed with emotions ranging from total happiness to paralyzing fear which many of you have described so perfectly already. It's amazing how many times a day and how quickly I go from "this is so exciting" to "omg I'm terrified, am I losing the baby?".

I'm also in a little but of a predicament that I would love your thoughts on. My Dr. said I can get an u/s as early as this Friday (I'll be 6w1, the milestone I never got past last time) or I can wait until next week. Friday could still be early to see a HB however my husband and I are going out of town all week next week, so that's not an option. So I can either go Friday and chance that it might still be early, or wait (an excruciating) 2 weeks and go when we're back from vacation. Part of me is screaming "are you nuts? go on Friday to ease your nerves before vacation so you can feel good and celebrate!" and the other part of me is saying "heck no, deal with the two week wait and go after vacation incase you don't see a heartbeat and are paranoid your whole trip that something is wrong". Ugh!!! I know I need to really think about it, talk to my husband, and make our own decision. But I'm curious, what would you do??

Thanks ladies, I hope we all stay on this board for a healthy 9 months. Thinking good thoughts for everyone!

Re: Cautious Intro and What would you do?

  • I completely understand your predicament, and i don't know that i have an answer for certain. I know with one of my pregnancies i had u/s shortly after 6 wks and we "saw" a hb but didnt hear one. A week later we found out we were losing the pregnancy. So the 6 wk mark is really tricky for me. Each time the tech tells me its really early and we may not see what we want yet. I actually just went today at 6+4 and we got to hear the hb for the first time ever. I was a nervous wreck though. It is such a tough decision when you have experienced loss. If you wait you'll be anxious, if you go and its too early you'll be anxious. Im sorry i am absolutely no help. It's just such a tough place to be in. If i thought i could wait without completely losing my mind i guess i would try to wait. You should have a more definitive answer at 7-8 weeks and not risk being in limbo. Anyways, congratulations and good luck making your decision and chasing those nerves away. Hope you have a very happy healthy 9 months ahead!
  • Thank you @ALC08 this is actually really helpful in that in validates my predicament. Sometimes I feel so crazy and like I'm over thinking things! The 6 week mark is tough for me because of my previous loss as well. Almost the same exact situation actually. I should have been close to 7 weeks but the baby measured 6w1 and saw a very slow heartbeat but couldn't hear anything. A week and a half later went back to confirm I had a MMC. The week and a half between the ultrasounds was horrible. I actually had to work from home a few days because I couldn't keep it together to go in. I just knew it was over. Earlier today I was sure I couldn't wait and now I'm feeling more like I really want to try to wait. Thanks again and congratulations to you!!!

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  • I had a later loss (mmc at 13 weeks, growth stopped at 10). So, my paranoia may have been stronger later on than yours is at this early point. This pregnancy I went at what I thought should be 6w3d and baby only measured 5w5d. So I went back a week later and baby was measuring closer to what I thought I should be and we saw a heartbeat that time. At my first appointment, my hcg had been around 10000 and my doctor said a heartbeat usually isn't detectable until around 12000. So,I was pretty hopeful our scan a week later would be successful. So, if it were me, I would go this week knowing it is completely normal to not see a heartbeat this early,then if we don't, make sure my doctor schedules a scan for when we get back to make sure there has been growth and hopefully see a heartbeat then. Like I mentioned, I was more anxious the further into my first trimester that I got, because my loss was later and I had no symptoms that anything was wrong. It still bothers me at almost 16 weeks now, that I went 3 weeks with a mc and had no sign that anything was wrong. But, I can definitely understand your anxiety with not seeing a heartbeat if you went before your trip. MC ruins the early excitement and bliss of future pregnancies. :/
  • I'm about to reach 6weeks in a few days and I already had my 1st U/S this past Saturday - doc said he wanted to start u/s as soon as possible since i had a loss in april. i'm glad i saw my pod because i wouldnt have been able to wait. My loss was around 8 or 9 weeks (it was a mmc) so i will be nervous until a month goes by. 
    If I were you I'd go for my sanity and peace of mind during the trip! :)
  • I would go, honestly you are going to be a mess either way. Go Friday with the understanding that it is early, so if you see a HB great, but just seeing baby may put your mind at ease for a couple days.
    I understand with each if my previous losses we found out at the dating u/s (though I had signifcant bleeding with the first so I expected a poor outcome)
    With this one his HB was 135 at 6w1d.
  • Thank you all so much for the encouraging words! I made an appointment for 10am on Friday. Will keep everyone posted and appreciate the feedback! Please say a few prayers or good thoughts for me and DH and know that I'm thinking the same good thoughts for all of you! 

  • Yes definitely keep us posted.  So excited for you to see your little one and maybe take a deep breath!
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
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