Newbie! ?s to ask at 1st RE appt??

twomommiestobe

Hi! I wanted to intro and then ask a few questions. I have been participating on the ttgp board for a while and decided I might need to be here. My cycles are running 60-80+ days. After lots of reading and temping and learning my body (bc my gyno was NO HELP) I think I am having anovulatory cycles. I was so sad and depressed bc I was told ins wouldn't help (since we are lgbt) but found out if I have any type of fertility issue that I CAN get help. I'm assuming since I'm not ovulating and my cycles are so long, there is something off. I am making my first RE appt. We do have a known donor so we will not be buying sperm. I am assuming it will be a lot like a straight couple going and doing iui or ivf.


-What should I ask at my first appt?
-What do you wish they would have told you when you started?
-How do you calm your nerves and stay positive before you know a diagnosis? I am SO scared they will say there is NO way I can get pregnant or it will cost more money than we can afford.

Please don't attack! I have lurked off and on on this board but never participated bc I don't have a dx and haven't been doing fertility treatments. I feel like since I am making my first appt, I should jump over here from ttgp. Thanks!! :)

GoldenKeys

Welcome to the board!   Good for you for using an RE instead of a GYN for your treatment, that was the right call.    Also, we don't attack people on this board, so you're good to go.   Definitely bring your charts to your doctor, and if s/he is any good, they will be interested in reading them.

Some good questions to ask are:

• What are their hours, and are they open on weekends?    If you work, going into treatment can wreak havoc on your job if they don't do early hours.  You might have to end up confiding your issues to your boss.

• I wish they would have told me how shitty my insurance is.    Scratch that, they DID tell me but I wouldn't listen.

• To stay calm, I hang on on these boards!  We're all going through the same thing and these ladies are a huge source of comfort and encouragement.   Good luck!
  

twomommiestobe

Thank you @GoldenKeys
Luckily I am a nanny (for twins conceived through ivf!) So my boss will be very accommodating because she has been through this roller coaster ride
I choose an RE because we are using a sperm donor. We tried at home ici, but since I wasn't ovulating, it was more like a waiting game instead of much trying. I did think I ovulated once and we did three rounds of AI at home, but it was unsuccessful. I now think I didn't ovulate since technically I would be about 40 dpo lol

bookworm40

Welcome and good luck!

Like @goldenkeys said, it's great that you're going to an RE instead of an OBGYN, because you will have more extensive testing done. The thing to remember about getting a diagnosis is that it does take time because most of the testing done to confirm anything have to be done at different points in your cycle so patience is key.  Most of fertility treatments is waiting game! 

I always felt it was important to bring someone with me to my consult appointments, my DH went with me, just to listen to what was said because I was usually half listening and scared something was going to be wrong each time I went.  

I would agree with pp that asking what your insurance covers and getting that all set up front and knowing the fees for what's not covered is important to keeping your stress levels down throughout the entire process, you don't want any surprises financially right when your about to go through treatment!  

This board is great, we don't attack here and always have each others backs!  We are all going through similar things so no need to be snarky and rude to each other, fertility issues are hard enough as it is.  Ask as many questions as you like, I feel that we all learn from each other in the end!  

twomommiestobe

My first consultation is now scheduled Sept 28. So until then, I will continue what I'm doing (bbt, pnv, cm) and wait for af (63 days and counting) Any other suggestions of things I should do before my testing?

CopperLane

I agree with all PP and second @Cupcakegal930 that we don't attack anyone here. You'll even see drive by posts and no one bats an eye, there's no need for crazy here.

Waiting for a consultation can be hard, definitely find something to do to keep busy before then. There really isn't much you can do besides wait.

Show your RE your charts and let him/her know how long your cycles have been off, if you've ever been "regular" with your cycles. Are you taking prenatals? You can start with that, I take vita fusion prenatal gummies and they are easy since they don't have iron (but they have folic acid and all that other fun stuff your TTC body needs).

Definitely get all pricing up front so you know what to expect and don't get any surprises. I had genetic testing that my RE assured would only be $25....then I got a bill for $9k and just about died. Turns out they just had to adjust that down to $25, which my insurance fully covered. But my insurance doesn't cover fertility treatment so I found it odd they'd cover a 100% elective genetic test. Insurance is a funny thing, always double check every procedure/test even if you think it will be covered.

Don't get discouraged with the initial testing. First it'll likely be a blood draw and maybe even an u/s to check the ovaries and uterus. With such long cycles you keep building up tissue and that can be dangerous. I have up to 60 day cycles (dx of PCOS) and my RE told me that gives me a high risk of uterine cancer so she wants to get my cycle length down.

It's great you are getting in to see an RE. it's nice to have a doctor take you seriously and be proactive about getting you pregnant.

Welcome!!!!!

twomommiestobe

As a lesbian, I never cared about cycles. I never had the fear of getting pregnant so I never charted or kept track. I have always known they were long and I could miss months at a time and never cared. I started tracking in jan (bc I had no cycle in Nov or dec). My cycles have been 80, 36, 51, and now at 64/still waiting. I honestly think the 36 and 51 was really a 87 day cycle. My gyno said "as long as you have a period everything is OK and you can get pregnant, it doesn't matter how long the cycles are". Ugghh I'm just mad I believed it. I should have sought out help months ago. At least we are starting. I am not sure how much I can participate until I know our plan, but I'll still learn all I can from y'all unail then! @CopperLane I have been taking prental vitamins since jan also a fertility tea (that is supposed to help even out cycles) and I just started taking vitex pills.

riveridgional

I'm excited for you that you are taking this step. I agree with everything the previous posters have said. I would just ask anything and everything that pops into your head and not worry if you're asking a "stupid" question as there really aren't any in this process. Since your cycles are so long, you might want to ask if there is any medication they can give you to trigger your cycle, so you can mover forward with testing and the process. I have no personal experience with that, but several ladies have mentioned taking medicine to bring on their cycle. It sounds like each RE moves at a different pace, so you may want to ask them what to expect for testing and treatment once your cycle begins.

My RE jumped right into testing and treatment, so I didn't have to wait too long. I saw him on CD 10 which was a Thursday. Had I seen him a few days earlier, he would have ordered an HSG test then. Instead, he had me come in that Saturday for an us and bloodwork. I had 2 mature follicles (shockingly on a natural cycle), so he gave me a trigger shot that day. That cycle didn't work, so he started me on the clomid challenge and ordered an HSG test. (That would have been the immediately next cycle, but I was out of town and then got tonsillitis) So, I was able to have all tests performed that cycle. I would suspect your RE would order you an HSG and do an ultrasouND and blookwork to see about PCOS. If you haven't done AI recently, you should be able to get the HSG done ASAP. Once you start your cycle, my guess would be he/she would put you on Clomid or Femera and monitor you then, with IUI as the result (assuming your HSG comes back clear).