Feeling alone... — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Feeling alone...

my boyfriend recently was sent to jail due to poor life choices, now in stuck doing this alone. He most likely won't be allowed back in Canada after this. I am so lonely and scared to go at this alone. I miss having someone to rub my belly and tell me I look beautiful even as I gain weight. I would appreciate any tips on moving on from this and/or inspiration to keep going.

Re: Feeling alone...

  • I'm sorry you're going thru this, definitely tough and even harder when you probably don't get to talk openly about it with your friends&family to avoid judgements.
    My brother has been in jail for the birth of all three of his daughters "due to poor life choices" - mind you not consecutively, just manages to repeatedly screw up.
    That said, we still are involved with two of the girls and their mother (unfortunately the first one decided she didn't want any part of him and withdrew from the family).
    His current person isn't happy about being alone with two girls or especially with carrying and delivering "alone" but she knows we are here for her and has a pretty large network on her side of the family as well.
    How are your interactions with his family? This could be a time for you to bond with any future MIL/SIL as you all work thru whatever his issues are, but you will probably have to work to initiate and keep it going.
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
  • I could only imagine how difficult it might be to do this alone, but know that his poor life choices not only hurt you but they hurt your unborn child. Keep moving forward in each day reminding yourself that right now, you and your baby need positivity and good role models. I'm sure there are other people in your life who will want to rub your belly and tell you that you're beautiful.
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  • My sister did it alone. I'm Catholic and I do believe that God would never give you something you can't handle. Do you have any friends or family nearby for support (I realize that isn't the same, but it can still be amazing). There are so many great support programs for single mothers - through hospitals, libraries, religious organizations, schools, gyms etc and plenty of opportunities to meet people in similar situations. You will do great and soon you will not be alone because you will have an amazing precious child. As the saying goes, You are stronger than you think!
  • I'm doing it alone. I've only seen baby's father once in the 5 months I've been pregnant just because he's freaked out and immature (we're 23). I wish I had him to kiss my belly :( though when I did see him last he told me I looked beautiful despite the weight gain. It's been hard not having him by my side but I've been managing to get through it. Our circumstances are a little different, but I definitely feel your pain :(
  • If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. Single moms are super heroes. My mom was a single mom for a while and I can honestly say I feel like I appreciate her MORE than I would had she not been because I saw what she gave up daily for me and how hard she worked to give me a normal life. Maybe you don't have someone to rub your belly and tell you you're pretty. But you ARE regardless of someone saying it. But what you will have is a child who adores you for the struggle you went through to give them a good life. That to me is far worth above and beyond and man telling me I'm pretty.
  • If you don't have any support network, you might think about going to church. You can really become part of a community of caring people who can help and encourage you.
  • Don't feel alone. I'm going through something myself where I live with the father of my unborn, and we're together but I still feel alone. Another woman has recently came to me telling me he's been sleeping with her and it hurt me. I didn't believe it at first but it's starting to sink in that he more then likely did. I feel sick and alone. There's more behind it then just him sleeping with her, but that's all it is between them. Sucks cause I never suspected a thing. I don't know what to do anymore. As far as you go, stay strong. It's easier said then done, but you have another life to live for. Make sure you keeping working for everything you need for the big day, and surround yourself with those who love you.
  • @lexitalich I am so sorry to read your posts, that is awful. I agree, the worst is when you aren't physically alone, but actually feel completely alone.
  • I'm sorry yall are going through your pregnancy alone & feeling alone :( I can relate. I am a single FTM & I'm nervous and kinda scared honestly to take this on on my own. On the other hand I'm thrilled knowing I will have a son in January to love & provide for. We have to stay strong, remain positive , focus on ourselves & the wonderful gift on the way. We can do this!
  • I just want to give all of you a warm loving hug. We ladies are AMAZING! We are going to get through this. Reading all the stories and advice makes me feel less alone. just talking to someone who is going through a similar situation of being a single mom lets me know I'm not alone.

    Although times are tough...I keep having dreams about holding my baby girl in a few months. Matter of fact..She's keeping me company with her kicks and punches. Her and I are in this together :-) . We all are! So, keep the threads popping!!
  • taperry74taperry74 member
    edited September 2015
    I just said a prayer for all of you ladies. God hears, he sees, and he knows what your going through. God is with you. Please Trust God.

    Psalm 34:18
    New International Version (NIV)

    18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
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