@mrstrax way to bring up swimming and make me cry. I have literally been googling local indoor pools all morning and weighing out the cost of driving an hour to get to one. Swimming is the best all-around activity! I know there isn't shit around me, but I was hoping maybe I'd find something. I was a competitive swimmer growing up and miss it something fierce, but with having LO gone transverse, I was hoping to find something I enjoy to help flip her back into position. Big girl + 36 weeks pregnant + downward dog = hilarious failures!
@mrstrax way to bring up swimming and make me cry. I have literally been googling local indoor pools all morning and weighing out the cost of driving an hour to get to one. Swimming is the best all-around activity! I know there isn't shit around me, but I was hoping maybe I'd find something. I was a competitive swimmer growing up and miss it something fierce, but with having LO gone transverse, I was hoping to find something I enjoy to help flip her back into position. Big girl + 36 weeks pregnant + downward dog = hilarious failures!
Sorry! Try local hotels! Two in my city allow day passes to the pool for like $2.50/person without a room or anything!
@RoseShadow873 What is the facebook group info? I'm having trouble finding it.
Facebook group is set to hidden so that privacy can stay a thing, but if you message your real name and/or email address to one of the members, we'll be happy to send you an invite!
Haven't had sex in 33 weeks and now that we are in the clear DH is scared of hurting me or baby. Ugh really!!! We talked about this and I was looking forward to even I feel like crap
we had the same problem. my advice: if you're past 37 weeks and not high risk do it yourself! :-) it's probably more effective than perineal massage with all the extra blood flow and happy hormones!
Random question: do you guys think "Eden" qualifies as an international name? we are giving our daughter a hebrew name bc we live in IL but it would be a bonus to have it "work" in English too... To me it sounds like it works but just wandering what the Americans/other English speakers think?
Random question: do you guys think "Eden" qualifies as an international name? we are giving our daughter a hebrew name bc we live in IL but it would be a bonus to have it "work" in English too... To me it sounds like it works but just wandering what the Americans/other English speakers think?
I know a couple Eden's here in the Midwest states.
Random question: do you guys think "Eden" qualifies as an international name? we are giving our daughter a hebrew name bc we live in IL but it would be a bonus to have it "work" in English too... To me it sounds like it works but just wandering what the Americans/other English speakers think?
Eden sounds beautiful to me! I think it works well in English too. We're also doing the Hebrew/English name for our son, Aaron Elijah. My parents did that for me, and I think it just makes things easier.
I think Eden sounds kinda stripper-ish or something. Like "garden of Eden"...don't people refer to womens' parts as a garden?
The last thing I think of when I hear "Eden" is a stripper. The garden of Eden is a biblical reference from Genesis. I think Eden is actually a really pretty name, a bit old fashioned but that's the type of names I typically lean towards.
I think Eden sounds kinda stripper-ish or something. Like "garden of Eden"...don't people refer to womens' parts as a garden?
The last thing I think of when I hear "Eden" is a stripper. The garden of Eden is a biblical reference from Genesis. I think Eden is actually a really pretty name, a bit old fashioned but that's the type of names I typically lean towards.
My ILs were supposed to arrive next Friday or Saturday...found out today they'll be here Monday night. I'm only 38 weeks and LO's arrival is not imminent.
MIL left me a voicemail freaking out because she couldn't get ahold of DH or I for all of an hour...on a Saturday morning. When I got back to her she said she had been "so worried." Um, I was running errands and DH is out of town without any cell service. It was ONE HOUR.
They're bringing their own mattress and had to ensure we have AC (it's Texas...of course we do) after previously promising to get a hotel. I don't like having house guests and I'm going to lose all of my hair before this kid even gets here. I may keep the birth secret for about 6 hours just to have a little time for DH and I to be a family of three before they come play hot potato with my first child.
My ILs were supposed to arrive next Friday or Saturday...found out today they'll be here Monday night. I'm only 38 weeks and LO's arrival is not imminent.
MIL left me a voicemail freaking out because she couldn't get ahold of DH or I for all of an hour...on a Saturday morning. When I got back to her she said she had been "so worried." Um, I was running errands and DH is out of town without any cell service. It was ONE HOUR.
They're bringing their own mattress and had to ensure we have AC (it's Texas...of course we do) after previously promising to get a hotel. I don't like having house guests and I'm going to lose all of my hair before this kid even gets here. I may keep the birth secret for about 6 hours just to have a little time for DH and I to be a family of three before they come play hot potato with my first child.
Someone save me
Tell them no and send them to a hotel. That's intrusive and rude to show up early and expect to be accommodated at this time.
@AmadorRose Ugh I totally feel you in this. I had the same awkward conversation with my mom this morning (I live in a one bedroom apartment so I seriously have no room for anyone). She wanted to come on Monday and I was like uhm nope, I'm 38 weeks and I might go over and we have zero room here so it wouldn't be comfortable for you. We don't even have a couch. She was annoyed but there's really no need for her to come this early. I'll call when labor starts and then she can come. I would honestly also tell your ILs that it would be better for them to find a hotel instead. Luckily my ILs suggested to come after baby has been born, phew.
My ILs were supposed to arrive next Friday or Saturday...found out today they'll be here Monday night. I'm only 38 weeks and LO's arrival is not imminent.
MIL left me a voicemail freaking out because she couldn't get ahold of DH or I for all of an hour...on a Saturday morning. When I got back to her she said she had been "so worried." Um, I was running errands and DH is out of town without any cell service. It was ONE HOUR.
They're bringing their own mattress and had to ensure we have AC (it's Texas...of course we do) after previously promising to get a hotel. I don't like having house guests and I'm going to lose all of my hair before this kid even gets here. I may keep the birth secret for about 6 hours just to have a little time for DH and I to be a family of three before they come play hot potato with my first child.
Someone save me
This totally sounds like something my MIL would do if she couldn't get in touch with DH. Oh, and I rarely pick up the phone when she calls so she would definitely would have been in full blown panic mode. Good luck this week!
I need to vent. I'm so upset with my mom for trying to insinuate that she is not special to me. She also goes on to say things that make it sound like my DH is controlling me. And now DH thinks I don't defend him when I do.
First of all she calls me every freaking day. Super annoying. She calls today while I was helping DH prep some food. I answered her call but then DH starts asking me to hand him a bunch of stuff. So I told her I would call her back. I call her back not even 10 mins later. First thing she says "so he let you call me back?" Wtf! That wasn't the case at all!! Then I go on to explain the visitor preference for when we are in the hospital. At one point I told her that we just don't want someone staying there the whole day. And she's said something in relation to her. And I said yes that this goes for everyone family or not. Then she goes on to say "yeah I know I don't hold a special place and will be like everyone else". She starts talking about how I cant expect visitors to visit the time we laid out and I said ok well they can wait until we are home. She finished off by acting bratty and saying to just let her know what time and day I want her to come and she'll make arrangements.
DH is upset from my venting and now thinks I don't defend him. And regardless of how many times I tell my mom it's what WE want she makes it sound like it was his choice only.
Why the fudge do I have to deal with this crap? Why can't my mom just understand it's our baby and we decide what we think is best. Can't she just be supportive instead of saying how things will be hard and how she thought I would want her there. Making it sound like I can't do anything on my own for my own child. Ugh!!!!
My ILs were supposed to arrive next Friday or Saturday...found out today they'll be here Monday night. I'm only 38 weeks and LO's arrival is not imminent.
MIL left me a voicemail freaking out because she couldn't get ahold of DH or I for all of an hour...on a Saturday morning. When I got back to her she said she had been "so worried." Um, I was running errands and DH is out of town without any cell service. It was ONE HOUR.
They're bringing their own mattress and had to ensure we have AC (it's Texas...of course we do) after previously promising to get a hotel. I don't like having house guests and I'm going to lose all of my hair before this kid even gets here. I may keep the birth secret for about 6 hours just to have a little time for DH and I to be a family of three before they come play hot potato with my first child.
Someone save me
Tell them no and send them to a hotel. That's intrusive and rude to show up early and expect to be accommodated at this time.
Our policy is that he deals with his family and I deal with mine. MIL is far more fragile than any of my family members so it would NOT go well for me to have this conversation with her. I thought she had told Mike about planning to come early, but when I texted him on his burner phone (that she doesn't have the number to) that they would be here Monday, his response was, "shit...ok." I had already acknowledged that they'd be here Monday. I'm guessing her husband won't spend the money to get a hotel room and I know her being here and meeting LO is important to Mike, and I'm not going to be the person that ruins that.
I also don't know them well enough to know how they'll be once she's born...SFIL will sit on the couch and watch westerns on the only TV we have (annoying but tolerable provided he doesn't speak) but will MIL be legitimately helpful or will she insist on holding baby all the time? The first would be appreciated, the latter would result in me hibernating in my room with LO in her bassinet.
I'm just hoping my water breaks tonight and I won't have to deal with not being comfortable in my home for weeks on end. I need a drink.
My husband's best friend comes over every couple days. He's generally a sweet guy, always brings food and asks about the baby. However, he's a little bit of a chatterbox and one of those expert-on-everything types. If I have to hear one more time about how I should just have a c-section, because in Brazil (where he's from, where apparently medical care is soooo much more progressive) 90% of births are c-sections then I will just murder him. He goes on and on about how it's safer for everybody. I don't want to argue with him because he's exhausting, I just want him to shut up.
@Knottie2891384 I'm really sorry your mom is acting like that. My family is very blunt, so I could say something along the lines of wanting to enjoy my last child-free weeks and not deal with a grown woman acting like a child and just not answer or return her calls until I was ready. My mom understands that my family (DH, baby, and I) come first, though. Could you maybe put it in perspective for her? Like, how would she have liked it for her own mother to try to shove her way into some really special moments in your birth? Or bad mouthed your dad at every opportunity? Depending on her personality, you could simply tell her that her if attitude toward your husband and father of your child will result in disconnect from you and baby, and that she can either grow up or know that she drove that wedge between you.
I need to vent. I'm so upset with my mom for trying to insinuate that she is not special to me. She also goes on to say things that make it sound like my DH is controlling me. And now DH thinks I don't defend him when I do.
First of all she calls me every freaking day. Super annoying. She calls today while I was helping DH prep some food. I answered her call but then DH starts asking me to hand him a bunch of stuff. So I told her I would call her back. I call her back not even 10 mins later. First thing she says "so he let you call me back?" Wtf! That wasn't the case at all!! Then I go on to explain the visitor preference for when we are in the hospital. At one point I told her that we just don't want someone staying there the whole day. And she's said something in relation to her. And I said yes that this goes for everyone family or not. Then she goes on to say "yeah I know I don't hold a special place and will be like everyone else". She starts talking about how I cant expect visitors to visit the time we laid out and I said ok well they can wait until we are home. She finished off by acting bratty and saying to just let her know what time and day I want her to come and she'll make arrangements.
DH is upset from my venting and now thinks I don't defend him. And regardless of how many times I tell my mom it's what WE want she makes it sound like it was his choice only.
Why the fudge do I have to deal with this crap? Why can't my mom just understand it's our baby and we decide what we think is best. Can't she just be supportive instead of saying how things will be hard and how she thought I would want her there. Making it sound like I can't do anything on my own for my own child. Ugh!!!!
She really lays on the guilt huh? It sucks to have them both pulling you in separate ways but you need to put your foot down. Instead of defending and rationalizing when your mom is being a brat, I would just say "you're right mom, nobody gets special hours at the hospital. There's no special mom list. If this is the way this conversation is going to go, I would rather we talk later." And get off the phone! Then when she disrespects your relationship with your husband "Yes mom, he LET me call you back, and now I'm LETTING myself be excused from this conversation because it's taking another unproductive turn."
Maybe if you condition her that convos where she throws a little tantrum won't last long, she may learn to stop.
My ILs were supposed to arrive next Friday or Saturday...found out today they'll be here Monday night. I'm only 38 weeks and LO's arrival is not imminent.
MIL left me a voicemail freaking out because she couldn't get ahold of DH or I for all of an hour...on a Saturday morning. When I got back to her she said she had been "so worried." Um, I was running errands and DH is out of town without any cell service. It was ONE HOUR.
They're bringing their own mattress and had to ensure we have AC (it's Texas...of course we do) after previously promising to get a hotel. I don't like having house guests and I'm going to lose all of my hair before this kid even gets here. I may keep the birth secret for about 6 hours just to have a little time for DH and I to be a family of three before they come play hot potato with my first child.
Someone save me
Tell them no and send them to a hotel. That's intrusive and rude to show up early and expect to be accommodated at this time.
Our policy is that he deals with his family and I deal with mine. MIL is far more fragile than any of my family members so it would NOT go well for me to have this conversation with her. I thought she had told Mike about planning to come early, but when I texted him on his burner phone (that she doesn't have the number to) that they would be here Monday, his response was, "shit...ok." I had already acknowledged that they'd be here Monday. I'm guessing her husband won't spend the money to get a hotel room and I know her being here and meeting LO is important to Mike, and I'm not going to be the person that ruins that.
I also don't know them well enough to know how they'll be once she's born...SFIL will sit on the couch and watch westerns on the only TV we have (annoying but tolerable provided he doesn't speak) but will MIL be legitimately helpful or will she insist on holding baby all the time? The first would be appreciated, the latter would result in me hibernating in my room with LO in her bassinet.
I'm just hoping my water breaks tonight and I won't have to deal with not being comfortable in my home for weeks on end. I need a drink.
I know Hispanic men are generally fairly attached to their mothers, is he the type to not want to offend her in any way? Because even if that is the case, he should take your feelings into consideration. It's one thing for them to come and *meet* LO, but another entirely for them to plan to stay with you for a period of time if you don't want them there. She sounds manipulative to me if she decided to just jump up the visit a week without asking. How far away do they live?
I need to vent. I'm so upset with my mom for trying to insinuate that she is not special to me. She also goes on to say things that make it sound like my DH is controlling me. And now DH thinks I don't defend him when I do.
First of all she calls me every freaking day. Super annoying. She calls today while I was helping DH prep some food. I answered her call but then DH starts asking me to hand him a bunch of stuff. So I told her I would call her back. I call her back not even 10 mins later. First thing she says "so he let you call me back?" Wtf! That wasn't the case at all!! Then I go on to explain the visitor preference for when we are in the hospital. At one point I told her that we just don't want someone staying there the whole day. And she's said something in relation to her. And I said yes that this goes for everyone family or not. Then she goes on to say "yeah I know I don't hold a special place and will be like everyone else". She starts talking about how I cant expect visitors to visit the time we laid out and I said ok well they can wait until we are home. She finished off by acting bratty and saying to just let her know what time and day I want her to come and she'll make arrangements.
DH is upset from my venting and now thinks I don't defend him. And regardless of how many times I tell my mom it's what WE want she makes it sound like it was his choice only.
Why the fudge do I have to deal with this crap? Why can't my mom just understand it's our baby and we decide what we think is best. Can't she just be supportive instead of saying how things will be hard and how she thought I would want her there. Making it sound like I can't do anything on my own for my own child. Ugh!!!!
Instead of saying "we" to her why don't you start saying "I."
"Mom, this is what I want. Please respect MY choices. From the sounds of it, you're making it sound like everything is about YOU. It's not."
Well my mom moved here from Mexico before she had us and didn't have much support when we were born and she never had a close relationship with her mom growing up either. So for her this is her way of being supportive but being a helicopter mom. She and I never communicated well and my parents know I have always been very independent. I don't expect them to help because I like to do it on my own or at least try. But at this point I just want her to be supportive in a way where she is there if I need her but not force herself into it. At the same time respect our choices. I don't get why she acts like she has more special privileges as a grandmother than my MIL. Our preferences apply to EVERYONE!
@Knottie2891384 ugh it's similar with my mom. Her disappointment when I told her (for the third time) that I only want DH with me in labor and the guilting made me feel bad but I stood my ground. She had a need for her mother to be with her at every delivery but I do not. I want some peace and quite in my tiny ass apartment when labor begins and I don't want anyone in the room while I'm giving birth except medical staff and DH. She even had my dad call me to remind me how important it is to have her with me. And proceeded to call today to inform me she'll be here on Monday. No mom, no you won't.
Oh just to add. I spoke with my dad after since I am closer to him. He doesn't like the idea of the visiting hours but he understands it's our choice. It's our marriage and our new small family. They are my priority now. My DH is white and I am Mexican. His family is great for the most part. Mine is always so dramatic. Can't a girl just get some support? I say "we" because I want them to understand that we both decided together. I have previously stated to her how I want it to be once we are home and getting help from MIL and her. At that point I stated that this is how "I" wanted things. My pregnancy has been hard and it took a long time to feel attached to LO. I want to be able to enjoy my new family without feeling invaded. I appreciate her offer to help but it's just that an "offer" and she should not be making me feel like crap when I say I want something different.
Oh just to add. I spoke with my dad after since I am closer to him. He doesn't like the idea of the visiting hours but he understands it's our choice. It's our marriage and our new small family. They are my priority now. My DH is white and I am Mexican. His family is great for the most part. Mine is always so dramatic. Can't a girl just get some support? I say "we" because I want them to understand that we both decided together. I have previously stated to her how I want it to be once we are home and getting help from MIL and her. At that point I stated that this is how "I" wanted things. My pregnancy has been hard and it took a long time to feel attached to LO. I want to be able to enjoy my new family without feeling invaded. I appreciate her offer to help but it's just that an "offer" and she should not be making me feel like crap when I say I want something different.
I only suggested saying "I" to make her realize that it is YOUR body, YOUR medical event, YOUR recovery, YOUR decision.. and mostly to make her quit being shitty about your H.
Yeah, no one not even our mothers have the right to assume they will be involved. They will be as involved as we choose to allow them to be. mine is so over parenting she would rather be on a cruise to the Bahamas than change a nappy.
I honestly wouldn't have my mom in the delivery room at all but since I'm adopted and my mom never was able to experience birth herself I told her it's ok for her to be there. I'm not afraid to kick her out after but for the birth I caved and decided that it really means a lot to her and probably won't effect me at all.
Re: **The Everything Random Thread for April Mamas**
This is crap, lady. You should join up, even if it's only a shell profile in order to participate in the FB group. Give in to the peer pressure!
MIL left me a voicemail freaking out because she couldn't get ahold of DH or I for all of an hour...on a Saturday morning. When I got back to her she said she had been "so worried." Um, I was running errands and DH is out of town without any cell service. It was ONE HOUR.
They're bringing their own mattress and had to ensure we have AC (it's Texas...of course we do) after previously promising to get a hotel. I don't like having house guests and I'm going to lose all of my hair before this kid even gets here. I may keep the birth secret for about 6 hours just to have a little time for DH and I to be a family of three before they come play hot potato with my first child.
Someone save me
First of all she calls me every freaking day. Super annoying. She calls today while I was helping DH prep some food. I answered her call but then DH starts asking me to hand him a bunch of stuff. So I told her I would call her back. I call her back not even 10 mins later. First thing she says "so he let you call me back?" Wtf! That wasn't the case at all!! Then I go on to explain the visitor preference for when we are in the hospital. At one point I told her that we just don't want someone staying there the whole day. And she's said something in relation to her. And I said yes that this goes for everyone family or not. Then she goes on to say "yeah I know I don't hold a special place and will be like everyone else". She starts talking about how I cant expect visitors to visit the time we laid out and I said ok well they can wait until we are home. She finished off by acting bratty and saying to just let her know what time and day I want her to come and she'll make arrangements.
DH is upset from my venting and now thinks I don't defend him. And regardless of how many times I tell my mom it's what WE want she makes it sound like it was his choice only.
Why the fudge do I have to deal with this crap? Why can't my mom just understand it's our baby and we decide what we think is best. Can't she just be supportive instead of saying how things will be hard and how she thought I would want her there. Making it sound like I can't do anything on my own for my own child. Ugh!!!!
I also don't know them well enough to know how they'll be once she's born...SFIL will sit on the couch and watch westerns on the only TV we have (annoying but tolerable provided he doesn't speak) but will MIL be legitimately helpful or will she insist on holding baby all the time? The first would be appreciated, the latter would result in me hibernating in my room with LO in her bassinet.
I'm just hoping my water breaks tonight and I won't have to deal with not being comfortable in my home for weeks on end. I need a drink.
Maybe if you condition her that convos where she throws a little tantrum won't last long, she may learn to stop.
Instead of saying "we" to her why don't you start saying "I."
"Mom, this is what I want. Please respect MY choices. From the sounds of it, you're making it sound like everything is about YOU. It's not."
I'm so tempted to drive to Krispy Kreme and eat all the donuts in existence!!
I'm not afraid to kick her out after but for the birth I caved and decided that it really means a lot to her and probably won't effect me at all.