Feeling discouraged - retrograde ejaculation

sldp123

We have only recently started TTC. I stopped my BC two months ago, but I am already feeling really discouraged and convinced I won't get pregnant. I know that sounds ridiculous after only two months, but DH was diagnosed with retrograde ejaculation a while back, while being seen for something unrelated, long before we were considering TTC. The doctor just kind of mentioned it as a side note, but it wasn't a concern at the time since it's not really harmful. But now that we are TTC, it's like I already know that is working against us, and I don't think we can seek treatment until we TTC for a longer period of time. That is frustrating to me because I don't want to wait 6-12 months, only to find out we need to see someone anyway. And of course it doesn't help that everyone around me is getting pregnant.

I'm sure these feelings are common around here. My DH is already bothered by knowing that he has this condition, so I feel like I can't really express my worries/frustration too much with him because he blames himself and I know he is worried about it too, but he doesn't really talk about it. Has anyone else dealt with retrograde ejaculation?

stylist001

OP have you discussed this with your Dr.? I have not dealt with this but know a couple who has and they sought treatment immediately upon trying to TTC. When your DH orgasms if the ejaculate is going to the bladder and he is producing very little or no semen then it would absolutely cause issues TTC and I would think immediate medical intervention would be warranted.

EDITED:It's Friday I can't spell.

PrimRoseMama

stube717 said:

We have only recently started TTC. I stopped my BC two months ago, but I am already feeling really discouraged and convinced I won't get pregnant. I know that sounds ridiculous after only two months, but DH was diagnosed with retrograde ejaculation a while back, while being seen for something unrelated, long before we were considering TTC. The doctor just kind of mentioned it as a side note, but it wasn't a concern at the time since it's not really harmful. But now that we are TTC, it's like I already know that is working against us, and I don't think we can seek treatment until we TTC for a longer period of time. That is frustrating to me because I don't want to wait 6-12 months, only to find out we need to see someone anyway. And of course it doesn't help that everyone around me is getting pregnant.

I'm sure these feelings are common around here. My DH is already bothered by knowing that he has this condition, so I feel like I can't really express my worries/frustration too much with him because he blames himself and I know he is worried about it too, but he doesn't really talk about it. Has anyone else dealt with retrograde ejaculation?

If your husband has a diagnosed medical issue of this nature I don't see why you can't seek help sooner?

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/retrograde-ejaculation/basics/definition/con-20030795

If your H is not ejaculating properly then it will be difficult to get them up past your cervix.

Some advice? Change your title. I expected someone to be complaining about perfectly healthy sex for four months. Your situation is different.

LizaKate1213

Hi, welcome. I am curious why he cannot go visit a urologist to help with the issue now? If there is a known issue and a known treatment (I haven't read about it or anything so I don't know if there is/isn't a treatment available), then why not go for it? I don't see what waiting 6-12 months would do in this case. Usually the 6-12 month wait is for couples who are presumed to be 100% healthy. Regardless, lots of women here can relate to the frustration of TTC. It requires tons of patience. Most of us have found that things that help include getting to know your body and your cycle (read a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility, it is a thick book but an easy read), start charting your basal body temp (BBT) every morning so you can determine your ovulation date each month, and check your CM and CP so you know when your body is gearing up to ovulate or when you are most fertile. All of this helps to give you back a sense of control over the process. Good luck!

sldp123

Thank you both for the replies. I guess we need to look into seeing a doctor. I just had always heard that it can take up to a year, etc. and they won't consider it a problem until then. But I guess this is different. It's confusing because it seems it's not happening all of the time, but there was sperm in his urine when he had a urinalysis a while back like I said. 

I don't want to go into too much detail, in fact I may delete this whole post if I can, because I thought I had changed my user name but apparently it didn't change, and this is too personal to have where someone may know me.

LizaKate1213

**edited because @PrimRoseMama beat me to the QFP

OP, do not delete. Just change your name. Dirty delete is strongly discouraged and unappreciated. You never know how someone else may benefit from your question.

PugsandKisses

Yes, it can take up to a year, for a normal healthy couple. However, if it is know to have an medical issue that will interfere with conception, that is different. Any surgery, trauma or concerns to the male genitalia needs to be looked at sooner than later.

PrimRoseMama

stube717 said:

Thank you both for the replies. I guess we need to look into seeing a doctor. I just had always heard that it can take up to a year, etc. and they won't consider it a problem until then. But I guess this is different. It's confusing because it seems it's not happening all of the time, but there was sperm in his urine when he had a urinalysis a while back like I said. 

I don't want to go into too much detail, in fact I may delete this whole post if I can, because I thought I had changed my user name but apparently it didn't change, and this is too personal to have where someone may know me.

---

Well, you can't really delete (they removed that feature). You can ask for an SN change though if you private message @BumpTara . Just click on her name & she should be able to help you, stube717.

You might consider leaving this though. There might be lurkers that could benefit.

A urologist could help figure out what's going on with the bladder neck muscle or if there is other injury/disease that needs addressing.

sldp123

@PrimRoseMama thank you, I had my name changed. I also changed the title and will leave this up, as I am hoping to hear from someone with a success story. 

I'm going to talk to DH about seeing a doctor sooner. He actually asked me if I thought he should, but I was under the impression that it was too soon. I had also read that there is still a "possibility" of conceiving without intervention, so I was kind of holding on to that, but I really don't know how likely that could be. 

FloridaStanley

I've always read the 12-month thing- but also that when you already have a diagnosis, you don't need to wait. I would call the doctor and ask for a consult, to see if they want you to keep trying for awhile before treating or not.

sldp123

I have one other question - this may be stupid - but who do you think we should see? Should he see a urologist, or should we see a fertility specialist? 

lalalorelai

I agree with others that if there is a diagnosed medical condition that will impact TTC, the one-year wait thing does not apply. I think that's more of a rule for waiting before you start seeking out a diagnosis. 

Also, there is nothing wrong with scheduling a pre-conception consultation with an OB if you haven't already. I don't have an OB and didn't even really have a gyno. Pre-conception consultations aren't necessary at all. But I'm one of those people who turns to Dr. Google so I feel better having an actual doctor out there. To me, hearing "You're normal. What you're going through is normal. This can take awhile. Everyone is different, so you'll just have to be patient" from an actual doctor in person is just reassuring, I guess. Plus I figured I'll need an OB if I am lucky enough to get a BFP, so this way I'll at least have met mine!

LizaKate1213

I feel he should see a urologist first, since it hasn't actually caused any fertility issues yet that you are aware of. Also, male anatomy/physiology is really the urologist's specialty.

calfherder

Previous posters gave you good advice. R.E. is sometimes treatable and a urologist is what he needs to see. You shouldn't have to wait the 12 months for that since the problem has already been identified.

I don't have a success story YET, but our situation is similar (not retrograde, but very little comes out and there is no force behind it). We're trying at home AI this cycle to help it get where it needs to go, but will be doing IUI next month if this time doesn't work. If your H's r.e. cannot be fixed, sperm can still be retrieved to do IUI.

FloridaStanley

sldp123 said:

I have one other question - this may be stupid - but who do you think we should see? Should he see a urologist, or should we see a fertility specialist? 

I would start with urologist.

juliehollz13

Hi, when my Dr. diagnosed me with PCOS he let me start treatment right away even though we have only been trying for 2 months. If your Dr. insists you wait 6-12 months you may want to shop around for a new doc or go straight to an RE - or a urologist like others mentioned.