May 2015 Moms

Visiting Grandparents

Hey everyone. FTM here with a 2 1/2 mo old DS. Just wondering: how often do your LOs see their grandparents? We've been visiting with my SO's parents about once a week/week and a half, and his mom won't stop commenting on how "if he (DS) saw us more often then maybe he wouldn't cry when I try to hold him," and the like, about 5 times a visit. I pointed this out to my SO on the way home yesterday and he got super defensive and an argument ensued. His parents live about an hour and 15min away. I grew up with only one set of grandparents who were in another state and really couldn't care less about me when I was a baby...so, I don't know what's normal. I just want to feel like my efforts are appreciated. Sorry to babble, but what do you guys do? Anyone have experience with this?

Re: Visiting Grandparents

  • I think every week to week and a half is plenty of time seeing their grandkid!! Geez, what do they expect? For you to go over there every day? Maybe she was just joking around because she wants to see him all the time? My LO's grandparents see him about every 2 weeks or so. One set lives an hour and a half away and my mom lives about 40 min away but can't drive. It feels like a constant juggle to let everyone get to see our little man. That doesn't even include friends and other family. It's exhausting sometimes!
  • My mother in law lives about 1.5 - 2hrs away and she hasn't seen LO in about a month or so. She loves DD but just gives us space. My mum lives about an hour away by plane and hasn't seen DD since she was about 4 weeks old (she's 16 weeks now) - she would KILL to see her more often. Sounds to me like your in laws don't know their luck! I figure me and DH are going to do what we want - go to friends for BBQ, go out shopping etc. and if anyone wants to see DD they can arrange it around our schedule!
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  • DMELDMEL member
    My parents are super involved and they see the baby once a week my husband's parents are not so involved and they see him about once every 3 to 4 weeks
  • My mom and dad live 10 mins away so we see them almost daily... My DH is crazy busy with work and school so I usually go over for supper since I'm home alone. My inlaws live about 5 hours away, we have a very strained relationship so we don't see them very frequently, it's been about once a month but it will be even less in the winter because they live in the middle of no where in the mountains and it's dangerous to make that drive in the winter.
  • ashleyandelyashleyandely member
    edited August 2015
    I take DD to my parents house one to two times a week and usually spend a night there just for extra support and they love to see my LO. My mother in law moved from Iowa to Michigan when I got pregnant and she comes over maybe once every 2 weeks.

    Edit: my parents live 25 minutes away and my mother in law lives 15 minutes away.
    DD: Ophelia 5/18/15
  • My parent live 15 mins away and they come over 1-2 times a week.. Hubby's parents live in Idaho one parent has seen him onetime the other hasn't.
  • My parents live 20 mins away and we see them at least once a week and they've been a huge help. My in laws live in TX and have seen DD once.
  • Well, my husband is military so we don't live in our hometown, but are fortunate enough to only be a 4 hour drive away, for now. So we try to make the drive once a month if possible but my husband stays pretty busy with work. When we do visit, we stay with my mother in law, and stop by my parents at least once while in town. my mother in law is driving up for the weekend in a couple weeks to visit with the baby and my husband dad who lives in NC (we're currently in WA) is flying in for a week for his first visit with the baby. So I agree with previous poster, they may not realize just how lucky they are to see the baby weekly
  • DS has four sets of grandparents.  The two local sets are each about 20 minutes away, and they've seen him every week or two. Sometimes we go to them, but more often it has been them coming to us.  The other two sets are four hours away, and they've seen him once a month so far with us traveling there once, and them coming here the other two times. 

    But we're trying to fit in more time now since we'll drastically reduce visits this fall and winter because I'll be going back to work and more possessive of our weekend time. :)
  • Thanks everyone! The family politics of parenting was something I guess I just wasn't prepared for...
  • Is there any reason they can't come to visit you? An hour 15 minutes is not that far but far too drive more than once a week. They should make an effort if they want more than that. You are being generous I think!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I think we have the same in laws...

    Mine live much closer (25 minutes away). MIL sees DS every week pretty well. There have been some weeks she has seen him 3 or 4 times!! Any time we see her she says "He doesn't like me because I never get to see him". It drives me bonkers!!! She comes over during the day when DH isn't here and we go as a family to her place pretty much every weekend.

    I think the frequency that you have set up is more than fair. Especially considering they live further away.
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