Disappointment

Winnie81_Old

Hey all, I don't get on here much, but wanted to kind of vent my frustrations with my body. My period just started and I am so frustrated, more than I usually am for some reason. I think I was actually hopeful that it worked this month and I feel betrayed by my body once again. We have been trying for about 5 years. 2 surgeries for endo, and abdominal myomectomy to remove fibroids last November. We were given the ok to start trying again(after everything healed), 3 months ago. I have regular 28 day cycles with 14 day leutal phases and ovulate every time so it's just so aggravating to know that the reproductive parts seem to be working...my doctor made a comment on my last visit that I have a very tight cervix(he was having trouble getting the catheter through to do an hsg test), I wonder if that may be an issue. Ugh, ok Ty for the space to vent. Not much people that I can talk to about this.

clt2pwm11

I totally understand! I do all the things you are supposed to do to keep your body healthy, and yet, here I am on the trouble ttc board! If I were in charge of babies, I'd give you one, stat. 

Winnie81_Old

Thanks @clt2pwm11 ☺️ it is comforting to know that there is a group of women that know exactly what you're going through and can have compassion. Between the glass of wine, chocolate, and Netflix marathon, I think my day may just end up ok

lily55d

I am sorry you are feeling that way, it must be so frustrating when everything seems to be working fine big hugs

AdorkablePixie

I am sorry. I am constantly frustrated with my body as well. I can't seem to get mine to work properly.

sophiemgelesh

I understand your frustration. We are going on year number 5 of ttc. I just did another IUI and thought it worked because I was late 4 days but oh no period came today. Great. Can't understand why some can have a baby and others have such a hard time. It makes you mad.

Lin&say

@WA85 Hugs to you. I understand completely. I have normal periods and ovulate regularly. My hormone tests and HSG came back normal, and hubby's analysis came back normal. We've been trying on and off for the past 5 years. It's frustrating not getting answers and absolutely devastating each month when AF comes around.

@sophiemgelesh Hugs to you as well. I'm sorry to hear your IUI didn't work this cycle. My fingers are crossed for you for next cycle. It doesn't make sense to me either why some can have babies so easily. Here we are, two people who love each other, been married for 5 years, have the means to raise a child...and nothing. And then there's 16 year olds who have sex once and end up KU. Seems like a cruel joke.

tiffany929

It's good to vent. Makes me feel less stressed. And it's great to know that there are a lot of people here who are going through the same things you are.

I know people having multiple kids and they don't have stable jobs or a home. So frustrating!

paisleybrown

Ladies, I am thinking of all of you! This is such a frustrating journey. Everyday, I case manage for individuals/families on welfare. Many of the girls are pregnant with their other children in tow, have no means, no job, no plans. I swear, these girls look at a man get pregnant. I do my best not to feel jealous and judgemental, but I really suck at it and find myself throwing pity parties. I am no more deserving of a baby than anyone else (regardless of their preparedness), yet, when a young 20 something comes in with a round belly and multiple children I just want to scream " why not me" and "don't you know what bc is?!?!". Then I want to calmly ask them why they are so fertile, despite smoking and eating only processed foods.

Your TTC journies are all so heartbreaking to me. I'll be keeping all of you in my thoughts...

AdorkablePixie

@paisleybrown Maybe we should all start eating unhealthy and quit our jobs?! Maybe we would have better luck. I agree with you, it is so frustrating seeing people like that with kids and we can't even get pregnant.

CareTed

Hugs! This is a frustrating process! 

paisleybrown

@AdorkablePixie, I swear I'm going to go into full cupcake and whiskey mode if this baby doesn't show up soon.

Osteoblastic

@paisleybrown I like your style. Cupcakes and whiskey all around!

@WA85 it is so frustrating to go through all that waiting and work (and pain), and Still have to wait more. Fx that your body is working just like the "average" after surgery and you'll be part of the 6-month statistic for now, though, go for all the wine and chocolates and venting!

AdorkablePixie

@paisleybrown I love cupcakes!!! lol

Winnie81_Old

All, i am sorry to be late to responding and i really appreciate everyones support . After my period started i tried to just distance myself from everything TTC because i was tired of being an emotional wreck. I have been putting all of my energy into starting my photography business and getting healthy. I'm now in that window of ovulation so I'm crossing my fingers its successful! How is everyone else's week going?

P.S. - my healthy diet includes copious amounts of Blue Bell ice cream...

)

AdorkablePixie

@WA85 I love Blue Bell ice cream. The birthday cake one is my favorite!

Winnie81_Old

@AdorkablePixie yum I haven't tried that one! While Blue Bell was away I started trying out different brands to feed my addiction

yellingbanana

Don't give up! And focus on making yourself a happy and healthy person at least that's what I keep trying to tell myself.
This week, a family that I work for told me that they are accidentally expecting ..... Then I went to a dinner with friends tonight and they announced their good news. I'm happy for them, truly. But it took all my willpower to not break down and cry right then and there in that fancy restaurant.
Happy and healthy thoughts, deep breath, we will get there.

AdorkablePixie

@WA85 I love ice cream. There is a coffee almond fudge flavor I like too.

@yellingbanana I can't stand it when people accidentally get pregnant, but here we are trying like hell and having no luck!

gardeniagirlknits

paisleybrown said:

Ladies, I am thinking of all of you! This is such a frustrating journey. Everyday, I case manage for individuals/families on welfare. Many of the girls are pregnant with their other children in tow, have no means, no job, no plans. I swear, these girls look at a man get pregnant. I do my best not to feel jealous and judgemental, but I really suck at it and find myself throwing pity parties. I am no more deserving of a baby than anyone else (regardless of their preparedness), yet, when a young 20 something comes in with a round belly and multiple children I just want to scream " why not me" and "don't you know what bc is?!?!". Then I want to calmly ask them why they are so fertile, despite smoking and eating only processed foods.

Your TTC journies are all so heartbreaking to me. I'll be keeping all of you in my thoughts...

@paisleybrown I did this same kind of work... In a residential substance abuse program. It's hard... I know. It's nice to hear what you have to say about this, it makes me feel... Well, not so bad...not so alone.

twomommiestobe

WA85 said:

All, i am sorry to be late to responding and i really appreciate everyones support . After my period started i tried to just distance myself from everything TTC because i was tired of being an emotional wreck. I have been putting all of my energy into starting my photography business and getting healthy. I'm now in that window of ovulation so I'm crossing my fingers its successful! How is everyone else's week going?

P.S. - my healthy diet includes copious amounts of Blue Bell ice cream...

)

Blue Bell!!!???? Ahhhh I need Blue Bell asap!!!! We just moved from Austin to Dallas, so no Blue Bell on our shelves yet. If we hadn't moved yet, I could be eating my weight in it at the moment! Very devastating bc I NEED it to help me through all this stress!!!!!

misshopeful1

I've been getting more depressed each unsuccessful cycle/month. It's tough feeling so bad about myself and then all my routine goes out the window (cooking, exercise, etc).