Anyone having trouble getting family members to get TDAP vaccination?

littlemama1227

Our pediatrician said no one should be around the baby once she's born who hasn't had a TDAP in the past five years.  They all need flu shots too but the flu shot isn't out yet.  Apparently it's a rec for all grandparents etc, but specifically for me because I just had a TDAP about a year ago so they didn't want to revaccinate me during pregnancy.  No one (OB and pediatrician) is sure whether the baby will still get antibodies from me or not and baby can't get her own vaccine until two months old, so she would be at an increased risk of developing pertussis.  I emailed all the family members who would be spending the most time asking them to get the shots and no one has responded.  I sent a second email and then the hubs sent a text message too.  What makes it harder is that apparently the TDAP takes two weeks to be effective and I'm just about 36 weeks so if the baby comes early, they really shouldn't see the baby until it's been two weeks.  I've told everyone this in both emails!

I don't want to be a mega bitch and not let people see the baby if they don't get it, but I also sort of DO considering I don't want the baby to get pertussis because I was too much of a wimp to stand up to our families!

Anyone have any ideas for me to get people to get their butts to Walgreens or their doctors to get the TDAP without people considering me a super bitch?  Should I hold fast to the rule and say people can't see the baby if they don't?  Should I embrace being a super bitch?

bethanyjane26

My doctor said the opposite. He told me only I need to get the shot.
He even told my SO he doesn't need to get it..
He said other people getting it doesn't matter, as long as I get it and the antibody things get to the baby...
So no one but me is getting it.

rebeccabloomwood

I can't get it during pregnancy due to a past reaction so we are waiting until baby is out. So for us, like you, baby will not have the antibodies from getting vaccinated while pregnant. I let DH and the grandparents know that per new recommendations, and especially because I'm not getting it, that the safest route for baby is to get them all vaccinated. Everyone has got it except FIL but I doubt he'll hold the baby anyway (another story for another day). I will ask him once more and then keep distance before baby is 2 months if he doesn't get it. It's so easy to go do and could prevent such a tragedy if not done. Most people I am close with have been vaccinated recently.

MiromiM

My OB and pediatrician said anyone with prolonged contact with the baby needs to have had the booster (within the past 5-10 years). My close family is either military or works in the health field so everyone is up to date. I drug DH along with myself to a nearby pharmacy for ours a few weeks ago.

JessicaS0914

bethanyjane26 said:

My doctor said the opposite. He told me only I need to get the shot. He even told my SO he doesn't need to get it.. He said other people getting it doesn't matter, as long as I get it and the antibody things get to the baby... So no one but me is getting it.

Really?? That's a new take on it. I honestly haven't heard that one.

eah325

bethanyjane26 said:

My doctor said the opposite. He told me only I need to get the shot.
He even told my SO he doesn't need to get it..
He said other people getting it doesn't matter, as long as I get it and the antibody things get to the baby...
So no one but me is getting it.

Not trying to pick a fight but your doctor is wrong.

Tdap vaccine
Tdap vaccine can protect adolescents and adults from tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis. One dose of Tdap is routinely given at age 11 or 12. People who did not get Tdap at that age should get it as soon as possible.

Tdap is especially important for health care professionals and ANYONE having close contact with a baby younger than 12 months.

Pregnant women should get a dose of Tdap during every pregnancy, to protect the newborn from pertussis. Infants are most at risk for severe, life-threatening complications from pertussis.

Source:

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/hcp/vis/vis-statements/tdap.html

dmbfan46835

My MIL and FIL refuse. So they will not be babysitting our child when I go back to work or having him overnight. My doctor, hospital and nurse practitioner all said anyone that will have a lot of contact with my child (4 hours at a time) must be vaccinated. It's called cocooning. Pertussis is on the upswing and it's literally just a booster. Anyone that wants to spend time with my kid will get it. I'm in Indiana and we are one of the states with an increase in cases. 50% of babies that get it die. Stand your ground if you feel strongly about it. I am. I now have gotten a babysitter, and have had to change all of my plans because of the ignorance and selfishness of my Inlaws.

Also, the vaccine at 2 mos isn't enough to protect from pertussis. They need all 4 boosters from what I understand to work.

MusicEBA22

My dr told me everyone who will be spending any sort of time with my baby until she gets her first shot at 2 months should have the vaccine. It can be deadly to infants, so I sent out a mass email and fb message to everyone. I haven't heard anything from most people, so I figure that when anyone calls and asks to come see her, I'll ask them then if they got it. If they say yes, I'll make sure it's been at least 2 weeks or they'll just have to wait. If they either didn't get the email, didn't read it, or didn't get the vaccine, they'll also just have to wait. They had their warning. You are her parents and your main priority is the protection of your new baby. They should respect that and your wishes with regards to your baby. If they don't, that's not your problem and honestly, I wouldn't want them around our new family if they aren't willing to get a silly little shot.

littlemama1227

Thanks everyone.  This is really helpful.  I have this irrational fear that I'm going to look like the crazy new mom, but I feel much better about standing up to people now.

myspecialkid

My mother is refusing to get the shot. Ah well you won't be babysitting your grandchild. It's that simple.

PickledPlums

My in laws are dragging their feet, and we live with them. Now I may be induced in a week, and I'm getting really upset just thinking about it...and my husband's at work, I could scream right now.

lcarp203

My immediate family and DH's immediate both got it no issues. BUT- I will say my OB said not to start WWIII over it and so did the nurse that lead my child birth class. I still pushed for it and they got it no questions, but I did want to chime in as there are differing opinions on the necessity of the vaccine for extended family.

paine0925

Is whooping cough common? I've never met anyone who has had it. Is it more like a regional thing where some places have it more commonly than others? Tomorrow I will do some research and look for statistics, I'm so curious about it bc there are so many different opinions on it from doctors which is so bizarre to me!

cjstats87

I had my first booster while pregnant in 2010 and didn't get one while pregnant again in 2012 and now got mine last week for this baby! My DH got his in 2010 also and our ob okd him to not get one...now I need to have my parents check! Lol!

AndieTessie

I took more of an aggressive approach and told family if they didn't get it, they can't hold baby or be our house guests. It's more common in some areas than others, but since everyone is coming by plane to visit it's not worth the risk to me. My mom and sisters are up to date, but in laws are dragging. I don't like being the bad guy but no shot=no baby, you can get vaccinated at CVS even and I have offered to pay for anyone's who's insurance didn't cover it. It's easy and painless thing to do to keep baby safe.

kanga915

Good for all you mamas standing your ground. It's SO important. For us, luckily, all grandparents were vaccinated without any argument. MIL complained about the cost but respected the necessity. My best friend at the time had a totally unvaccinated toddler and they weren't allowed to visit. We aren't such good friends anymore but I stand by that choice.

jen83mn

Baby's grandparents and my siblings all are getting it (or have gotten it within the past five years) and DH got his booster last week. Our OB also recommended that anyone who will have close and a lot of contact with the baby get it ... especially because symptoms of pertussis in adults can resemble the common cold at first.

Just an FYI if you're going to Walgreens Pharmacy; we tried to go there originally but were told it would be $60 because they have to bill at the "pharmacy" rate rather than a "clinic" rate, even with my DH's insurance. So we went to Target Clinic instead and DH's insurance covered it.

And I will be that mom who makes every family member visiting in the hospital use hand sanitizer before holding the baby (or if they're not feeling good, they'll have to wait to meet the baby). I'm not risking anything that early on!

myspecialkid

jen83mn said:

Baby's grandparents and my siblings all are getting it (or have gotten it within the past five years) and DH got his booster last week. Our OB also recommended that anyone who will have close and a lot of contact with the baby get it ... especially because symptoms of pertussis in adults can resemble the common cold at first.

Just an FYI if you're going to Walgreens Pharmacy; we tried to go there originally but were told it would be $60 because they have to bill at the "pharmacy" rate rather than a "clinic" rate, even with my DH's insurance. So we went to Target Clinic instead and DH's insurance covered it.

And I will be that mom who makes every family member visiting in the hospital use hand sanitizer before holding the baby (or if they're not feeling good, they'll have to wait to meet the baby). I'm not risking anything that early on!

This might be store or region specific. DH, my brother, father, and step-mother all got theirs at Walgreens within the past 2 days. My brother is the only one without insurance so he had to pay the full price. Everyone else have their insurance cards and didn't pay anything.

Plumeria1214

My mother got it as well as in-laws. My brother won't be around often (live in another state). I may ask my husbands brother to get it because he'll be around more often. My father told me he's not able to get it for medical reasons... I feel awful telling him he can't hold baby but I bought face masks and am making Purel/hand washing a requirement and being extra cautious when he sees her first 2 months... But it still makes me so nervous!!

LoveLee85

JessicaS0914 said:

bethanyjane26 said:

My doctor said the opposite. He told me only I need to get the shot.
He even told my SO he doesn't need to get it..
He said other people getting it doesn't matter, as long as I get it and the antibody things get to the baby...
So no one but me is getting it.

Really?? That's a new take on it. I honestly haven't heard that one.

My doctor still hasn't mentioned anything about the shot...and I go to the best in town!

whitfi24

My parents are really dragging their feet. I've got about 2-3 weeks left and they keep pacifying me by saying they will. I have no real hope that they'll get it, since the only thing I've heard from them during my pregnancy is "we never did any of that sh*t when we had you." They just haven't accepted that there has been some progression in the world. 

I'm torn on saying that they can't be around the baby until they get the shot. I know that my mom would hold it against me, and make me pay for it as long as she can. But at the same time, the fact that a tiny baby can't fight off the illness and could die is terrifying. 

lillaura4unme

Just doesn't seem worth taking that chance. I dragged my BF to Target a couple of weeks ago. Took 15 min. and was 100% covered under clinical for his insurance. Otherwise it would have been $62. Thanks for the reminder. The inlaws checked and are covered, but I'll need to ask my parents again. They actually brought it up to me early on. We live in South and Central Texas area where whopping cough is common.

lynnaeschr

I told all my family and everyone was super accommodating. We are in an area that has actually had an outbreak recently so no one wants to take any chances. The only person that can't get it is my BIL as he is allergic to something in it but he lives far away and will only see baby once or twice anyways! Hopefully if you show them how dangerous it can be for LO they won't think twice about it!

napoli1

The only one that gave me a hard time was my mom, which really surprised me. But, when I told her that if she gets sick when she visits, she will have to stay somewhere else, she got it. The other grandparents already had their shots a few years ago, so they were already covered. And my Dad got it, no questions asked.

LoveLee85

May I ask what area people live in that have outbreaks?? I have never heard of this.

picariellol

I'm really wondering if this is s regional thing too. Not one person around here has ever heard of getting the vaccine while or right after pregnancy. Bizarre. We are from north jersey.

kzangs15

Unless they're the type to specifically decline a booster, if they see a Dr. on a somewhat regular basis, they've probably gotten a booster in the last 10 years (how long the booster is good for).  I sent an e-mail to my parents and DH's mother about getting the shot - my mom was able to look on her and my dad's mychart to see when they had last received them and both had within the last 10 years.  MIL most likely has, but is going to check her records for me as well.  My sister may not be able to get the booster - my mom told me she had a reaction to the Tdap series as a baby.
Once baby arrives, I will request that anyone with cold/flu symptoms not visit until they are feeling better whether or not they've had the shot - I definitely don't want any of us to have any type of a cold if we can avoid it!!

JessicaS0914

picariellol said:

I'm really wondering if this is s regional thing too. Not one person around here has ever heard of getting the vaccine while or right after pregnancy. Bizarre. We are from north jersey.

In late 2012, my coworkers daughter got pertussis at 6 weeks old and was incredibly sick. In North Jersey. She was sent to Hackensack, I believe. I was pregnant at the time, giving birth in early 2013 and I got it at docs rec,...in North Jersey.

mpache06

My OB said anyone that's going to be around the baby often (grandparents, aunt) should get the vaccine.

bracybabies

My doctor told me that since I got the vaccine during pregnancy, no one else but DH HAD to have it. And he's never had it so that's why he needed it.

But then the nurses I spoke to at the hospital I deliver at were telling me anyone who will have prolonged contact needs it.

So I'm getting both sides from my medical professionals and it's really confusing me.

egaudreau2

My boyfriend and his family are not originally from America so they did not grow up the way I did getting routine vaccinations. I have no problem getting the TDAP vaccine, but after reading on it I'm not too sure it makes a huge difference.

Is anyone else going through this, or know someone who has? 

Also, does anyone know a family who did not vaccinate?

littlemama1227

@picariellol I am in CT.  It's a CDC recommendation and apparently whooping cough has made a huge return over the past couple of years.  It didn't used to be a requirement.  Both my pedi and OB said the same thing--I would ask your doc to be sure!

littlemama1227

https://www.cdc.gov/pertussis/outbreaks/trends.html

ElleMF728

Anyone who spends a significant amount of time with my children is ask to get it and we haven't had any issues.  My mother and father actually did it without even being asked when I was pregnant with DS as did DH.  My family already tends to keep up on all of our boosters since my sister has a compromised immune system due to medical condition and the medication she needs to take.  

I've gotten boosters with both pregnancies (within 2 years) but everyone else just needed it for the first.  Pertussis is nothing to mess around with when it comes to infants.  Half of all children who contract the disease before a year of age end up being hospitalized.  

violetigerlily

It is worth asking people to check if they've been vaccinated against it instead of assuming everyone has.  I'm in PA and although I got a tetanus booster every 10 years, I never had one with the pertussis component (TDAP) or any other pertussis vaccine until coming to a grad school a few years ago where it was a requirement. That's even after working for a hospital for a year. So it isn't always something that people routinely get everywhere. 

lsantaspirt

I am also from North Jersey and had it with my son and again with this pregnancy. Every mom I have talked to has either had it or was recommended to get it by their dr.

littlemama1227

Just an update--since my husband texted everyone our third reminder, my parents, his mom and stepdad and his stepbrother all went to Walgreens and got the TDAP between yesterday and today!  My sister and her husband also told us they already got it with my niece (she's four so def within the timeframe) and my father-in-law and his girlfriend told us they are away but ordered the vaccines to be ready the day they get back at Walgreens (apparently you can do that, who knew?).  I think telling everyone that it takes two weeks to be effective and that they couldn't see the baby until it was effective because of doctors orders (sorry to throw you under the bus doctors....) really made the difference.  So just my husband's brother and his girlfriend are left!  It feels really good that everyone is finally coming through, even thought it took a lot of pressuring.  Now my husband is just going to hound his brother and hopefully everyone will get it in the end with enough time to spare.  

Good luck to everyone else trying to convince their family members and thank you to all of you for supporting me in standing my ground

PickledPlums

Update on mine: my in-laws were making me crazy but it turns out my MIL is up to date and FIL is getting his Wednesday. SO relieved I doesn't have to make "no baby" threats. Whew.

LoveLee85

I did lots of research and talked to some friends. I already had mine BUT my DH will get his this week!