My daughter was born at 32+1 weeks on Thursday 8/13/15. She didn't need oxygen (simply flow to keep her lungs open) and weighed 4.4 lbs. Tomorrow makes a week in the NICU. I've been rooming in at the hospital to be close to her. She was taken off the oxygen flow this morning and hasn't had issues, she's being tube fed 24 ML of breast milk every 3 hrs and is being weaned off IV fluids ( down to 2.5 ml an hour ) because she is doing so well tolerating the feedings. She sucks a paci very well, throws fits and eats her hands when it gets close to time to feed, and she sucks a paci and swollen as her tummy fills from the tube. I asked about trying a bottle and they said they will think about it starting next week. Not sure why when she seems to be doing so well in everything else. Not to mention I haven't even gotten to take her temp or change her diaper.
I know I can't stay in the hospital with her forever, but they had another couple that was here for 2 weeks, I was released on Monday and given a courtesy room and it's only been 2 nights. The night NICU nurse said that I'll probably be told to go home today, unless by some miracle they decide to let me stay. I don't know how I'm going to handle being away from her if I'm forced to go home ( I live an hour away and am pumping every 3-4 hours around the clock ). I've been staying positive and I can see her improvement daily, but I have a history of PP depression. I've been doing so well, and I'm terrified to spiral downward when I have to go home and she can't.
Any advice or kind words would be greatly appreciated, I could definitely use a friend who understands the pain.
Ohh and if I get one more "well atleast you have time to go home and prepare" or " it shouldn't be that hard, she's in good hands " or " take the time for yourself and rest up, be glad someone else has taken the reigns while you're healing ". I may very well yell at someone.
Re: Going home without baby
I do hope they are able to get you a room. Does her NICU room have a pull out bed? I stayed there a few nights. And I know you really want to be near her but don't discount the impact of a really good shower and night's sleep in your own home. A well-rested, happy mama makes the best
mama. Even if it means a little time away from her. Which is hard, I know.
And finally, there is no "at least...." when it comes to a baby in the NICU. Your baby is not home with you where she should be. Period. There is no "at least" in this scenario and I wouldn't blame you for snapping at someone who said so. They likely don't know what else to say. But that doesn't make it any easier to hear and you can let people know that if it makes you feel better.
Hang in there mama! You got this!
And be pushy. Ask what you can do. Be clear that you want to try to do diaper duty, check temps, kangaroo care, etc. It will suck if they say no, but keep trying. Find a nurse that you like and visit during her shifts. Or request her. We had two faves that we asked for, so when they're on, they have our kiddo as their charge.
I'd also see if there's a NICU parents group. The one at our hospital hosts dinners and breakfasts once a week and they work in the Ronald McDonald House and parent lounge. Does your hospital have a Ronald McDonald House? We live too close to use it (less than 50 miles is the cutoff) but they asked on our first night. It may ease your nerves to stay close.
Good luck, momma.
She was removed from the IV, and tonight they allowed me to attempt to breastfeed, which was successful. She latches on her own and fed for 22 minutes. The nurse and NP were shocked! She is controlling her temp now and her daddy and I held and played with her for almost 3 hours. We also got her dressed and changed her diaper! It felt amazing to take care of her tonight! They told me that it shouldn't be much longer and that I can bring her carseat tomorrow!
This is an extremely hard road to endure but we can all make it through! Sounds like you're doing well and they are making their way home and hopefully soon!
I know I can't wait to bring her home with us! Seems like forever some days...