I'm going to be selfish

EricaOO

Hi ladies, I'm expecting my second DD in 2 months. With DD1, I breastfed for 5 months.  I also supplemented formula as she was failure to thrive in the beginning (low milk production).  It worked for us. I was happy to be able to give her whatever breast milk I could produce and was making sure she was full with formula.  

Many of you will probably disagree with my thinking this second time around.  I plan to breast feed but am worried that my toddler (she'll be only 22 months) will just not allow me the time I need to sit for 30min or however long the baby needs!  I already feel sorry for DD2 but let's face it, toddlers have no patience and mine constantly needs mommy.  Bottle feeding will be essential so others can help me as well.  Yes, I could pump, but again, when am I going to find the time to sit and do so?   I realize there are solutions out there, I just need to work hard at it.  But I'm not going to kill myself to breastfeed this time and I hope I'll be okay with this when the baby comes.  I'm worried about giving both babies the attention they need

Anyone go through a similar situation?  I feel guilty but keep reminding myself that there's nothing wrong with formula.

harmonicbabe26

I'm a little confused... Which part of what you said was selfish? Because to me it sounds completely reasonable and unselfish. If you want to give BFing another try then do it! Don't feel bad about that decision. You won't know what will happen unless you try. If youdon't want to try or you decide it is not working, then don't feel bad about stopping. You are right - there is nothing wrong with formula. If in doubt, look at your own older child. I also had low supply with my first and we supplemented from birth. Then at 7mo I switched her to all formula. My experience did not leave me scarred or bitter. Maybe a little jaded and sensitive, but I still wanted to give it another shot if I were to have another kid. And you know what - I tried and it worked. My girls are 33 months apart. And my DD2 has had nothing but BM all her life. But of course nothing in life is perfect - when she was 2mo she got really sick and refused to nurse ever since, so I've been pumping for the last 7 months. She will be 9mo this week. I am weaning though bc. I am tired of pumping, and will be done and will switch to full formula in the next couple of weeks. Do I regret it? Do i wish it worked out a different way? No. I am completely at peace with it all and just glad I gave it a try.

EricaOO

harmonicbabe26 said:

I'm a little confused... Which part of what you said was selfish? Because to me it sounds completely reasonable and unselfish. If you want to give BFing another try then do it! Don't feel bad about that decision. You won't know what will happen unless you try. If youdon't want to try or you decide it is not working, then don't feel bad about stopping. You are right - there is nothing wrong with formula. If in doubt, look at your own older child. I also had low supply with my first and we supplemented from birth. Then at 7mo I switched her to all formula. My experience did not leave me scarred or bitter. Maybe a little jaded and sensitive, but I still wanted to give it another shot if I were to have another kid. And you know what - I tried and it worked. My girls are 33 months apart. And my DD2 has had nothing but BM all her life. But of course nothing in life is perfect - when she was 2mo she got really sick and refused to nurse ever since, so I've been pumping for the last 7 months. She will be 9mo this week. I am weaning though bc. I am tired of pumping, and will be done and will switch to full formula in the next couple of weeks. Do I regret it? Do i wish it worked out a different way? No. I am completely at peace with it all and just glad I gave it a try.

Your story with your first is so similar to mine.  I think it's awesome you were so successful breastfeeding your second.  Pumping is sooo much harder than breastfeeding and 9 months of only breast milk is GREAT. Your perspective on this is really refreshing.  Thank you!

BBhopes15

Hi! I am also confused about the selfish comment but here is my story.. With first LO I was not able to breastfeed because my milk didn't come in until he was dehydrated and had to be supplemented. I was given bad advice about how to do both and I was unknowingly doing things that didn't let me produce enough milk so I quit at three weeks. With our new LO, I started out breastfeeding . Since I was able to Vbac and had a better birthing experience I feel that allowed my milk to come in sooner and I was producing plenty of milk. However, nursing with my toddler was truly hell. I guess the new sibling and extra attention was too much for him. I must admit he is very spoiled. Every time I was trying to nurse he would just be on his worse behavior and no matter what I did he just wouldn't behave. I also did not enjoy sbreastfeeding as much as I hoped. The temper tantrums and screaming battles from both ends were too stressful. So I gave up at 6 weeks. Pumping did not workout for the same reasons. However I am glad I gave it a try. I do wish I had been able to manage my toddler better but it is what it is. For me, I was just not ready for the had work and time that breastfeeding involves in the beginning. I would suggest preparing something special for your toddler to do while you are breastfeeding so she feels involved somehow. For us bottle feeding has been the best choice there seems to be more acceptance now from my toddler but that could just be him adjusting. Again, I think if your LO requires as much attention as mine does you will probably do great if you can find something Tokeep him occupied do while you are nursing. Make it something special they only get to do during that time. GL!

EricaOO

BBhopes15 said:

Hi! I am also confused about the selfish comment but here is my story.. With first LO I was not able to breastfeed because my milk didn't come in until he was dehydrated and had to be supplemented. I was given bad advice about how to do both and I was unknowingly doing things that didn't let me produce enough milk so I quit at three weeks. With our new LO, I started out breastfeeding . Since I was able to Vbac and had a better birthing experience I feel that allowed my milk to come in sooner and I was producing plenty of milk. However, nursing with my toddler was truly hell. I guess the new sibling and extra attention was too much for him. I must admit he is very spoiled. Every time I was trying to nurse he would just be on his worse behavior and no matter what I did he just wouldn't behave. I also did not enjoy sbreastfeeding as much as I hoped. The temper tantrums and screaming battles from both ends were too stressful. So I gave up at 6 weeks. Pumping did not workout for the same reasons. However I am glad I gave it a try. I do wish I had been able to manage my toddler better but it is what it is. For me, I was just not ready for the had work and time that breastfeeding involves in the beginning. I would suggest preparing something special for your toddler to do while you are breastfeeding so she feels involved somehow. For us bottle feeding has been the best choice there seems to be more acceptance now from my toddler but that could just be him adjusting. Again, I think if your LO requires as much attention as mine does you will probably do great if you can find something Tokeep him occupied do while you are nursing. Make it something special they only get to do during that time. GL!

This is my fear or rather, the reason I will probably choose to mostly formula feed.  My toddler is also spoiled and when I'm in the room, she only wants me. (I probably did this to myself of course!)  Poor DD2 will probably get pawned off for her bottle feedings.  

PrimRoseMama

(((hugs))) I think the question and worry about meeting everyone's needs would happen no matter how you feed your LO. I BF DS and DD was always happy to "help" me. She would get me my breast friend and burp cloths from the drawer. Even something simple like parking her with a game or colors can afford you some time with baby to nurse (if you choose). I think the same issue would come into play if you FF'd. You can't exactly walk around with a bottle in the beginning. So no matter which method you choose, you are going to have to figure out how to entertain your toddler while you do it.

Honestly, I read books while nursing and played games etc. etc. you find a way to make it work. If anything you have to just let your toddler know that you will be there as soon as baby is done. Whether that is bottle or breast. Your toddler is going to have some rough growing pains about patience.

I started that delayed attention to wants (vs. needs) during second trimester. Just making them wait 30 extra seconds, then a minute. You can explain that when baby comes you might need your toddler to be a big girl and practice patience for mommy. They'll have to do that while you do diaper changes, put baby to sleep-- you name it.

Knottie1442268460

Bottles are hard with our toddler. But it makes sense that pumping would take even more time from big kiddo b

NurseRieger

I don't know how you ladies do it with 2 kids! I'm a FTM and did EBF for 6 weeks and just started formula supplementing because I'm going back to work soon and there's just no way I can pump often enough.