TTC after 35

Newbie here! This intro is also on the TTC board.

Hello. I just wanted to see if there is anyone out there who is in the same boat. This is hard for me. Life didn't play out quite as I'd planned.

I am 40 (almost 41) and have never met a man that I could settle down and have kids with. Believe me, I have tried! The thing is, I have always wanted to be a mom. It makes me sad to think that I may not get the opportunity. This yearning is what has been driving me to look for a boyfriend or a husband. I can't sit back and evaluate if I'm in a relationship that is healthy or that will grow because I am so focused on having a family. This, I feel, is just really unhealthy.

So what have I decided to do? Go it alone. Try. I feel like if I at least try (whether it happens or not), I will not have failed. I just got my Mirena removed and I am getting ready to attempt IUI. I have an awesome support system with a lot of friends who are proud of me for going after my dreams.... even if I have to do it on my own. I also feel like I may seek a relationship for all the right reasons after I get this all out of my system.

Re: Newbie here! This intro is also on the TTC board.

  • Good for you!!  I didn't meet my hubby until I was 36 but I always said I'd do it myself if I had to.  I don't know if I'd have had the guts, so I'm SO amazed by you and those who do it!!  This board is super supportive.  I wish you all the luck!!
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
  • I think it's great. My husband and I got married later than most of our friends. I always said I would do it on my own too if I hadn't settled down by a certain age. I think you're very strong. A great support system is key, and it sounds like you have one. I say go for it.
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  • Welcome and congrats on making a decision to do what's right for you. Wishing you all the best!
  • Best of luck to you on your decision. In my personal opinion, the desire to be a mother is a beautiful gift, and you don't "need" a partner to be a loving giving parent.
    If you want to mother a child, I say go for it!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Welcome! What a wonderful decision you've made for yourself. I hope all goes well for you and look forward to you sharing your journey with us!!
    Me: 37, DH: 44
    TTC #1 since September 2014

  • I think you are brave and amazing!  I say go for it.  I always told myself through all the bums I had been with in my life that no matter what, if I got a baby out if it - it was worth it.  I just wanted the baby.  The good guy can come later!  We're here to support you!
    **child mentioned**
    Me(38)PCOS/Hypothyroid   DH(43)Low T/ED
    MMC at 10 weeks 03/2011 DD born 01/2012   TTC #2 since 04/2014
    BFP 8/26/2016

  • Welcome! I have a couple of friends who are pursuing children on their own (different approaches each). I am so proud of them for continuing to pursue their dreams. They will/are make great parents. Wishing you all the best with your first IUI!! I think you will find this to be a very supportive board, 
    Me (42) w/ partner for 16+ years
    TTC #1: 11/2012 - 9/2013; 6/2014 - present
    Follistim + TI (3x): All BFNs
    Follistim + IUI (1x): BFN 
    IVF #1: 17 retrieved,15 fertilized, Day 3: 15, Day 5/6: 3 biopsied
    Result; 1 frozen blast (inconclusive PGS results)
    IVF #2; ER: 6/22 16 retrieved, 6/25: 5 transferred (CP), 2 frozen
    FET 9/17: BFN
    Current FET -- Transferred 2 day-3 embryos - BFN

  • Welcome!  It's definitely brave to go it alone, but you won't be alone-- there's a whole community of single mamas by choice out there, and I bet you'll be able to connect with some cool women locally who are doing the same thing. 

    Me- 39 (turning 40 in April), TTC for the first time ever (since Jan 2015), low ovarian reserve
    Married 3/14/14 to my wonderful wife, but her sperm count is rather low
    TTC with frozen donor sperm and science

    7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
    2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
    Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
    Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!  
    fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP! 
    Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)

  • Welcome to the group! This is a great place to get support, advice or just vent! :)
  • Welcome and FX for the IUI!!!!
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