To circumcise or not?

ess242

Ok, mommas...I'm having a boy (my first was a girl) and am researching whether to circumcise or not. Are there any mommas who did not circumcise with a previous son? Or are deciding not to? Any positive feedback would be really appreciated! TIA!

kristen2b

There's a huge thread already on this topic. Try the search function.

Ninapinks

I had never second-guessed whether or not I would circumcise my son; I was always for it and figured that's just what we do. However, once I realized I was pregnant with a son I did start to research it. I am now completely against doing it. It is uncharted territory for both me and my husband, but I don't think I could let it be done to my son and not regret putting him through something unnecessary and so painful. Hope this helps!

BostonBaby1

Heads up, if you use the search function for circumcision posts, you can see that this type of thread brings drama and back-and-forth. The last circ. thread on here was filled with controversy and out right lies. Just trying to give you a heads-up as to what may come. If I had the ability to link, I would do so, however I am strictly mobile and cannot.

I personally will be circumcising any future son(s) I may have. I will choose this because of multiple factors. Mainly due to my religious customs, secondarily because I believe that it is the right choice for my son(s) due to the proven reduction in STDs and penile cancer. Also reduces the risk of cervical cancer in the partners of circumcised men. Lastly we would be circumcising because my DH feels the same way as I do. In no way do I believe that this is any sort of "mutilation," nor is it "barbaric." I just choose those two words because I've seen them used repeatedly during these discussions. Ultimately, the decision should be up to the parents.
https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/New-Benefits-Point-to-Greater-Benefits-of-Infant-Circumcision-But-Final-Say-is-Still-Up-to-parents-Says-AAP.aspx

*Clarity

ess242

Ah, tried to search but nothing came up. Will try again. Thanks!

mrs14678

Yep, we will be choosing circumcision for our son. Health reasons, as listed above, and also so he will "look like daddy."

rachel10488

https://youtu.be/gCSWbTv3hng

^^amusing and informative video on the topic. The most recent research on circumcision concluded: "Clinical trials conducted over the course of five years in sub-Saharan Africa has led officials with the CDC in the United States to conclude this week that circumcision can prove to be a powerful factor in diminishing a male’s risk of contracting the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)."

Sub-Saharan Africa is not really the best example to use for health issues in the U.S. (If that's where you live) since there are major differences in the status of health of the citizens when comparing these two countries. Also, condoms would be the best preventative for HIV (and all other STDs), that is one of the main reasons they were invented. Whether circumcised or not anyone having unprotected sex or not being "clean" with their privates are going to have health issues and possibly STDs.

kristib1027

Some scientists and researchers believe that we no longer need an appendix and that it no longer serves a purpose in our bodies, but yet we are still born with them... So the whole "if they weren't meant to have it they wouldn't be born with it" statement *to me* doesn't apply. To each their own. Every mother will do what she thinks is best for her child so I won't judge. OP I suggest doing your own research and speaking with your SO about this rather than relying on others for input. Also speak to your doctor and Childs future pediatrician. Threads like this will most likely just make you more confused on the issue and get you a lot of misleading or wrong information on both parts.

haylierm

I attempted to search this topic recently as well and I wasn't able to find much either. The website has a few articles about it but it was basically just one Dr that was for it saying one thing and one Dr that was against it saying the opposite. So I didn't find it very helpful. I'm thinking the next appt I go to I will ask the Dr what they recommend and try to go from there. I was under the impression that most of the health issues surrounding circumcision had been debunked so I was leaning towards not doing it. However, upon researching it it seems that there is still some info out there that says otherwise. So I was left more confused than ever. as if its not hard enough picking a name and decorating a nursery right?? Haha sheesh.

missaero

We are having a boy and after research are against circumcision. The medical benefits are few, complications are real and honestly it's not a big deal that he doesn't "look like daddy". While I live in the U.S. where this is commonplace, where I come from it is not. It's stuck around mainly as a religious practice IMO.

Regarding cleanliness etc. it doesn't take much to teach your son to clean - pull back, wash, done. Of course it will be several years before the skin is able to retract.

racheldelacruz

The doctor will recommend that you do. I recommend that you don't. My husband is not circumcised. In fact, it's a custom primarily only practiced in the U.S. and since he was born in a different country... Well, he wasn't.

As long as you teach proper hygiene there is absolutely no reason to circumcise. Would you practice female circumcision? I doubt it. So why would you do it to a baby boy?

It's on of those weird decisions that should really be the choice of their own. There's no true medical reason to do it (as long as they are clean!! I can't stress that enough, which they should be) so it's like cosmetic surgery on your baby just so it looks more appealing.

We are having a girl but already discussed before that that there would be no way we would. And it IS BARBARIC. You realize that you are choosing to rid your adult son of more pleasure when he has sexual relations some day. (Not my cup of tea to think about ether but it has lasting effects). And... Ow. Thankfully as a baby it isn't as noticeable because they just cry but imagine he pain a 30 year old man would go through having the same thing done. Ouch!! Not necessary. Not cool.

missaero

Yeah, exactly. What people forget is that the foreskin helps keep disease out.

yl1m32015

Oh boy, not this again. We've had this discussion/argument before and nothing changes. We will never agree on this subject. Some will circ, some won't. OP, please do your own research, talk to your Dh, OB, pediatrician and make the best decision for your son, whatever that may be.

hplunkett2883

In my opinion it doesn't matter to me if you circumcise your son or not. This is a decision only you and your husband can make. The last time this topic was brought up there were many for it and many against it, most were shaming the others choices. My suggestion to you OP: I wouldn't use this forum as a source to make this decision. There are lots of women for it, lots against it. And some who are just downright set to make women feel bad for which ever they choose. Everyone has their own personal reasons for what they choose. I would do your own research and discuss with your son's father. It is your decision.

monaclemere

racheldelacruz said:

The doctor will recommend that you do. I recommend that you don't. My husband is not circumcised. In fact, it's a custom primarily only practiced in the U.S. and since he was born in a different country... Well, he wasn't.

As long as you teach proper hygiene there is absolutely no reason to circumcise. Would you practice female circumcision? I doubt it. So why would you do it to a baby boy?

It's on of those weird decisions that should really be the choice of their own. There's no true medical reason to do it (as long as they are clean!! I can't stress that enough, which they should be) so it's like cosmetic surgery on your baby just so it looks more appealing.

We are having a girl but already discussed before that that there would be no way we would. And it IS BARBARIC. You realize that you are choosing to rid your adult son of more pleasure when he has sexual relations some day. (Not my cup of tea to think about ether but it has lasting effects). And... Ow. Thankfully as a baby it isn't as noticeable because they just cry but imagine he pain a 30 year old man would go through having the same thing done. Ouch!! Not necessary. Not cool.

Have you ever witnessed or assisted with a baby's circumcision?? I'm guessing no. I have.

It's in no way "barbaric". The baby is given oral sucrose (sugar water) which works in an infant brain as a form of pain control. The penis is then numbed, foreskin removed and dressing applied. The whole thing takes less than five minutes and half the time they sleep through it. When they do cry, it's usually because their legs have to be restrained and new babies don't like having their legs stretched out. Pacifier and sucrose- crying stops.

And please don't compare this to female "circumcision". The two are in no way the same and if you had done any research on the topic, you'd know that.

If you don't want to circumcise your child, then don't. But please don't spread false information.

adecembermom2015

Here's the other thread. Search function for the win:
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/87148710#Comment_87148710

hplunkett2883

adecembermom2015 said:

Here's the other thread. Search function for the win: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/87148710#Comment_87148710

Thanks. I tried to search for it but gave up trying to filter though all the 976,654,987 other posts about this.

BostonBaby1

Annnnddd... As I predicted in my original post, here comes the controversy. Just to let you know as an FYI, I said it before and I'll say it again that it's up to you whether not you circumcised. I can tell you that my husband is not suffering or missing his foreskin. He enjoys sex immensely and never has wished that he had his foreskin back.

But again, as it says in the link that I posted from the aap, The choice is up to the parents.

april172010U

I was in the same boat with my second child. We didn't have our son circumcised, but do to infection and issues, we did it at 12 months. This is another boy and I'm doing it out the gate.

beckifrasoer

My son is not, even though we planned to. My unborn son will not be either. I was advised to watch a video of a typical circumsision, and then a pediatrician described it to me rather bluntly. And with all the after-birth hormones running through me, I changed my mind. The doctor also said that 70% of the world is not, and it's more of a cultural ordeal in the US. If there are any medical issues, then it can certainly be done.

chewie5990

My DH is not circumcised and our little boy will not be either. DH is from Mexico and circumcision is not common. We both don't believe it's necessary.

Chumby1982

**Removed for TOU-violation**

raq_2020

No way. Unnecessary, painful procedure, in my opinion. I read the other threads the other times this was brought up, but I don't think it's a big deal to bring it up again (the other big one was before many of us knew the sex).

Good luck in your decision-making!

Gingermom15

We did a lot of research and decided it was not something we wanted for our son for a variety of reasons I won't go into.
Ultimately, this is yours and your husbands decision, don't let anyone shame or scare you one way or the other. Weigh the pros and cons of both and ask yourself what is important for your family.

*typo

tetchy

My son was born at 28 weeks and 1lb 12ounces.  He was poked and prodded a lot.  We decided if there was anything we could take off of his plate we would give him that peace.  We opted out of circumcision. 

Fast forward two years my son is diagnosed buried penis and undescended testis.  Just nature.  Just him being a preemie.  Nothing could have prevented this.  But he had to have a circumcision to build shaft skin and help fix his urological problems.

I don't really have an opinion about what I will do with my next son or what you should do with yours.  Just this perspective.  Do what you think is best for your babe.  Everyone.  Enjoy having the choice.  Because sometimes you don't get to choose.  

leeleepi

cherithkavanagh said:

Circumcision is an outdated, barbaric and completely unnecessary procedure. Kept up by mindless sheep that just follow a custom passed on from previous generations. They still circumcise females in certain parts of Africa, and most people would consider this horrific and wrong! Same thing people! Any so called health reasons for circumcision are outdated and tainted with strange religious belief and culture. And if you're doing it because of vanity reasons "uncircumcised men look weird" etc etc... Shame on you!!!! Break the cycle and really think about what you're doing.

Your post is not only obnoxious and filled with so much judgement ... It is completely unnecessary to be so hostile with the labeling and mommy shaming. Female circumcision in Africa is a completely different scenario, and your comparison to that is rediculous.

Hey everyone, let's compare apples to oranges just for fun!! Uhm, no thank you.

VesperLove

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Apologies for language but its posts like this that piss me off. Stop with the mom shaming, ladies. Just freaking stop. Make your own decision...for you...for your husband...for your son.

Do NOT come on here preaching your opinions in a way meant to shame women for believing in something you dont.

And for God's sake, don't start a post with "it's an individual decision" and then continue on about how horrible and barbaric it is or how terrible a person is to consider it.

Get over yourselves.

monaclemere

cherithkavanagh said:

Circumcision is an outdated, barbaric and completely unnecessary procedure. Kept up by mindless sheep that just follow a custom passed on from previous generations. They still circumcise females in certain parts of Africa, and most people would consider this horrific and wrong! Same thing people! Any so called health reasons for circumcision are outdated and tainted with strange religious belief and culture. And if you're doing it because of vanity reasons "uncircumcised men look weird" etc etc... Shame on you!!!! Break the cycle and really think about what you're doing.

Baaaa baaaa!!!

BostonBaby1

maiatene

@ess242 my son is (was) and if this one is a boy he will be too. I let my husband make the decision and I have no regrets. I was in the room when the doctor did the procedure and it took maybe 5 minutes. My son was asleep the entire time and had no complications. Before and after I asked the doctor a million questions so I was more than comfortable with the decision.

I suggest you defer to your husband/partner since they have more experience with the before and after. Whatever decision you make for whatever reasons is the right one for you

LMJL

This is a tough one. Especially, since we don't have this equipment, so we're really just flying on instinct here. As many have said, it's something you & your man need to decide for yourself. I have 5 nephews, 3 untrimmed, 2 trimmed, they're all fine & unphased by this decision. So whichever you choose I'm sure it will be ok. I'm letting my man decide, with strong persuasion on my part, (we're team green so it's still hypothetical at this point.) My opinion is that it is more common today to not be circ. so there's no stigma in the locker room of being "different" (this is all dependent on where you live, I assume as well, we're in a fairly metro area.) The medical info I've seen shows little support as to the benefits of having it done (assuming he is taught to clean it & use condoms, & like a po, I was also massively disappointed with the cdc study supporting circ. based off std transmission in Africa! Do a study in usa with condoms & I'll get behind your findings!) Also, there is proof that it leads to a decrease in sensation (just a decrease & you don't necessarily miss what you never knew you had.) But mainly I feel like its not something I can ask my child's opinion about & it's not reversible. If he grows up & wants one then, that's his decision. I don't feel right making it for him. And I'm not saying it's the same thing, so no one jump down my throat here, but (TO ME) it feels akin to docking a puppies tail, which always feels wrong & makes me a little sad. So all that to say, I'm for leaving it on there & I think that's what we'll do if we have a boy. Good luck making your decision!

adecembermom2015

We will circumcise our son.

ChiccoBeanz

cherithkavanagh said:

Circumcision is an outdated, barbaric and completely unnecessary procedure. Kept up by mindless sheep that just follow a custom passed on from previous generations. They still circumcise females in certain parts of Africa, and most people would consider this horrific and wrong! Same thing people! Any so called health reasons for circumcision are outdated and tainted with strange religious belief and culture. And if you're doing it because of vanity reasons "uncircumcised men look weird" etc etc... Shame on you!!!! Break the cycle and really think about what you're doing.

QFP.... yeah...this wasn't informative or helpful... just ignorant, offensive and rude. The next time you post, maybe you should "Break the cycle and really think about what you're doing" before you start shaming other people for their decisions as parents, insulting people you don't even know and then commenting on the religious beliefs of others. "Shame on you!!!!" Please taste your words before you spit/type them out. Totally in appropriate and disgusting. 

fmraglio

cherithkavanagh said:

Circumcision is an outdated, barbaric and completely unnecessary procedure. Kept up by mindless sheep that just follow a custom passed on from previous generations. They still circumcise females in certain parts of Africa, and most people would consider this horrific and wrong! Same thing people! Any so called health reasons for circumcision are outdated and tainted with strange religious belief and culture. And if you're doing it because of vanity reasons "uncircumcised men look weird" etc etc... Shame on you!!!! Break the cycle and really think about what you're doing.

First of all, I can't believe how unnecessarily rude you're being. Shame on YOU for shaming mom's for doing what they feel is best for their child.

Circumcision is more than "mindless sheep" following a cultural pattern.

If you've done thorough and up to date research on the topic you would know that many of your above statements are incorrect:
A) Female circumcision is in absolutely no way the same as male circumcision. This is the one argument I have truly never understood. If you really understood what a female circumcision consisted of and what a male infant circumcscion consisted of you couldn't even logically compare the two.

You state all health reasons for circumcision are outdated and "tainted." You clearly are not up to date on the current research, some of which has already been posted above, because there have been very recent studies that have shown both pros and cons of circumcision in infancy and the most recent studies that find benefits to the procedure are all based on the subjects physical health.

All of that thrown aside, it is in no way your business whether or not a woman and her significant other decide to circumcise their son, and you most definitely have no right to shame them for either decision. A good mother will do her research and make an informed decision. That's all their is to it.

As a nurse it is appalling to me all of the people who feel that purposfully spreading misinformation is the way to go on this topic when there is so much research to back up both decisions that falsifying information isn't even necessary. Bottom line go into labor having done your research and be confident in the choice you have made, no matter what it may be. It really is that simple, end of discussion.

celainev

My DH's father had to be circumcised in his 30s. My DH isn't sure why, and his father has passed away so we can never ask him, but it was for some medical reason.
His father than swore to circumcise his children as a baby, so my DH was circumcised. My DH now really believes that we should do the same for our baby. (Not sure what we're having.) I let my DH make the decision because I am not a man and do not know exactly what it would be like to be uncircumcised.

Ps. My DH enjoys sex immensely.

LauraSmarterSpam

OP. Only you and your DH can make that decision. Speak with your doctors and DS's soon to be pediatrician express your concerns.
We live in a world where people have their minds set and people can be very judgmental as you can see. BostonBaby already mentioned this was a hot topic so you will not be getting great info like you would from doctors and researchers.

I will say that DS is circumcised, but we have a lot of boys in our families that are not. Two who were not circumcised, did end up having to be circumcised. Kind of like the person a PP mentioned.

adbrading

We are not having a boy but before we knew that we talked about it we decided to do it because daddy would be. Also, I have a friend who just recently gave birth. She did not circumcise and the foreskin attached over the head of his penis and it caused all kinds of complications which ultimately resulted in her son being circumcised months later. This is rare. It is a personal choice. I wouldn't even consult anyone other than my husband on the subject to be honest.

kanda0820

I don't completely understand why people don't want to circumcise their son. Yes we have a son and yes he is circumcised. My grandfathers parents didn't circumcise him and he had to have it done when he was in his 50s due to complications. I guess I'd rather have it done as an infant then adult.

missaero

The current policy from the American Academy of Pediatrics states the benefits of circumcision are not significant enough for it to be recommended as a routine procedure.

With this statement and knowing that worldwide this is no longer a common procedure, we decided against circumcision.

There will always be anecdotal evidence one way or the other with complications either from having it done or not. That's the things with statistics- there are always outliers.

Mizuiro007

chaelainev said:

My DH's father had to be circumcised in his 30s. My DH isn't sure why, and his father has passed away so we can never ask him, but it was for some medical reason.
His father than swore to circumcise his children as a baby, so my DH was circumcised. My DH now really believes that we should do the same for our baby. (Not sure what we're having.) I let my DH make the decision because I am not a man and do not know exactly what it would be like to be uncircumcised.

Ps. My DH enjoys sex immensely.

It was somewhat similar with my husband. He was circumcised but had medical complications when he was six that required minor surgery. If he had not been circumcised it would've been required then and would have been very traumatic. He's always insisted based on this experience that if we have boys they be circumcised as well.

I was fine with it. Like others have said I don't have those parts so it's hard for me to relate. I did do my research though. I read everything I could find supporting both sides, looked at complications that could make it necessary later, and statistics on the increased risk of having it as they get older (that was a deciding factor for me). I researched the procedure and risks and talked to doctors and watched videos of the procedure. I went into the hospital entirely confident in our decision.

I know it isn't the right decision for everyone but for us it is. I would just encourage you to do your own research and make it your choice as much as your husband's.

ChiccoBeanz

I know moms and their sons who have experienced both sides of the coin on this. I have one mom who's son is not circumcised and he has had very minor complications despite proper hygiene and education on how to care for his penis. Skin build up and a 1x minor infection. I know another mom who's son's circumcision went wrong and she had the grounds for a law suit against the hospital. Her little one ended up being ok in the long run. I know men who are not circumcised and have not ever had any issues, and the same for men who are. It really is a matter of research and preference. I say look into it for yourself. Then decided with you child's father.