Army Life

BabyBump2

So. I'm in the Army. Pregnant, obviously, or I wouldn't be here. I'm in my window to re enlist. I go to my retention NCO today and he tells me I can't re enlist because I'm pregnant, which is a lie. But whatever! I will fix that next week when I go back to work. I've been tempted to get out. I'm 24 and I want to live a life with my family without the added stress. My fear is that I won't be able to support my family. Obviously they are on my health care, the rent comes out of my check and so does my car payment. I'm very torn. I just want some opinions. I guess I've never lived outside of the military and I'm scared I won't be able to support them, even though I know I have my husband. Sorry for the blab fest. Just some opinions..please

cawalp

First off, that's super rude to tell you a blatant lie and say that you can't re-enlist.
As far as getting out, my husband is also in the service and we were seriously considering getting out to be a little more stationary and be able to live near our families but financially it's a tough decision. As long as he stays in, I can be a stay at home mom which is what I've always wanted, and it really is terrifying to get out and leave that stable source of income/house. You really need to talk to your husband about your options as far as working if you get out and how it will affect your long term goals financially and for your family.

For us, we decided for him to stay in because we got married young and moved too much for me to get a degree and we would have a hard time supporting our family. It's really a personal decision for everybody. I hope things work out well for you

BabyBump2

Very much so. It's beyond terrifying. We have talked about it quite often but we keep going back and forth on it. I have a lot of time until my window closes, thankfully.

babybluu

Not the same situation, but Dh is military as well and I am wondering what's gonna happen years down the road. He says for sure he's gonna reenlist this time, because he wants to get his school out of the way which is awesome. That way if he decides to get out, he will be more prepared for a job on the outside. Do you have any degrees or anything? Maybe if you decided to reenlist you can work on one while it's still paid for if you don't have one. My main concern for when Dh gets out is health care. It's so expensive and it's something we NEED. however, the trade off would be nice, we would get to go back home and live near our families. This is their first grandchild and we live 3,000 miles away.

giraffesiheart

It is definitely scary leaving the Army. The Army takes care of pretty much everything so it's a big change on the civilian side. For me it wasn't worth being separated from my family. My husband and I got out a couple years ago and moved back home with no job prospects or anything. While trying to find jobs my husband and I enrolled in school full time and lived of our GI Bills. For insurance you will be covered under the VA(for free). Your husband and LO will need insurance, but atleast you won't have to pay for yourself right away. So ultimately sit down with your husband and way the pros and cons. The transition was scary for us but everything worked out in the end.

SummerOH

You'll be fine. Millions of civilian families live great lives. It will be an adjustment, but I think it will be worth it. I wouldn't want to live the military life with a family. Too much moving. My mom was a military brat and so were several friends. Every last one of them have said it was hard for them while growing up because they never had a chance to develop friendships or establish a base. They were always the new kids and far away from extended family. Family is everything to me, so the tradeoff isn't worth it. Many civilian jobs offer amazing benefits and job security, too.

BabyBump2

I appreciate the feedback, very much! You ladies have given me a lot to think about! I also appreciate the support saying that we would be able to make it outside of the military!

Latina211508

Hi. My husband is in the Air Force. He's been in 8 years and just re-enlisted again. He's planning to make a career of it. All we both know is the military life. I chose not to join after having my son. I'll admit my husband misses out on a lot and I couldn't have my children (pregnant with my fourth) miss out on me too. Financially we are more than comfortable and I am able to stay home with my kids and go to school because of his job. So that is a big thing to consider. I've heard pros and cons of life after getting out. I suggest making a list of pros and cons, with your husbands income alone can you guys financially be ok? etc. I wish you the best.

cmgedney

So you have what 4 or 6 years in already? I've never been active duty so I don't have the same experience as you but there are plenty of options. Like someone else said, if you don't have your degree, you could use your GI Bill to go to school and get a degree which will help obviously. Also depending on what your MOS is and experience will make it easy to find a job. For example in VA if you are MI with a clearance getting a good paying job is pretty simple, same with IT folks. There is always the option for getting into the reserve or national guard as well. You don't have full benefits but you still get some. I pay $200 a month for Tricare which is cheaper than what my employer offers. I've been in over 12 which was never the plan but I plan on retiring with at least 25 years now that I'm a WO. Good luck with your choice, it's never easy.

MrsB915

As a military brat and not active duty myself, I have a slightly different perspective to offer you. My Dad was active duty USMC for 21 years and retired when I was a college freshman. I am the oldest of four and we moved every 3 years. With the benefits we had through the military my Mom was able to be a SAHM until my youngest sibling was in grade school. She went back to school then and has been working in her current profession since then. My Dad got his college degree at our last duty station. Between having that and his military experience he was easily able to get a good job once he retired and is now a small business owner.

Yes, moving and living half a world away from extended family is tough. But that made my immediate family that much closer and I am actually closer to my extended family that a lot of my civilian friends have ever been. From my experience, military kids are generally well adjusted and have been raised to really appreciate family and country. Plus, in a military school you're usually only the new kid for a short period of time until the next family arrives. You learn to make friends easier and I have friends all around the world.

I don't know what my life would be like now if my Dad hadn't been a career Marine but I wouldn't change anything. There are so many benefits to raising kids in the military that I could go on forever. I realize it isn't for everyone. I wish you the best in whatever decision you and your husband make for your family!

kwentela

I agree with all the ladies before me, it can totally depend on your situation. For me, my husband is an active duty marine, has completed his almost 5 years and ironically his End of Active Service Date is this LO's due date! He has no intention of reenlisting, he contemplated it on and off for all the years he has been in but basically it comes down to, we are sick of the BS the military puts him through and don't want to raise this minion 2500 miles away from its closest relative. So before minion comes we will be transitioning to civilian life which is extra scary when trying to prep for a newborn! But we are lucky, I do work full time as a nurse, have already secured a job back home, husband has an opportunity to work at the company my brother works for and my parents have offered to let us stay with them until we get on our feet back home. So as scary as it is, it can be done with some planning and for is us we definitely think it will be worth the trade offs. Good luck to you!