My marriage has been falling apart and this morning seemed to be the last straw for both of us. We both said ugly, hurtful things. His mother later came over and let me know how angry she was with me, too. I just want to pick up and leave, but it's not so easy. See, I gave up everything to move to the UK last year and I have no friends and no support here. I've never felt settled or like this was my home from the very beginning. I don't want to cut my husband off from his child, but when I move back to the US, he will be. Since I'm here on a spouse visa, I cannot stay if we are not living together (wouldn't have qualified for citizenship until 2020). Our child will be a dual citizen, so when he/she is older, I certainly want to encourage a close relationship between them. However, there is a high probability that he will not be there when our baby is born (not to get too much into it, but he has Asperger's and no job/ not much money to fly back and forth). My parents would be willing to buy him a ticket, but I don't know where things will stand between us by January when the due date comes around.
He said he hates me for making him into the kind of man he hates, i.e., one who is not there for his child, and I feel terrible about it. I know how much he wants to be a dad, but there's no way I can stay here if our marriage ends. I'll be kicked out of the country, so I'd rather leave on my own before that happens. It's a bad situation all around.
Re: It looks like I'm going to be a single mom at 43 :(
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
As PP's have said it takes 2 to create any situation and you can not be blamed for things you can not control.
Although I can not specifically relate with your husbands issues I have a pretty good idea of how stressful it has been for you.
Just know there are women out here that understand and wish the best for you!